[MINGLE] One-Man Show

[sixthiteration]

WHERE: Inari Shrine and elsewhere
WHEN: 25 January 2019 through ?
OPEN TO: All opted in characters
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[constructionzone]

He likes to think he's seen some shit in his day, and he has, but every once in a while, Rhodey's reminded that some people have seen and lived some shit that's hard for even he to imagine. His stomach churns in the same way it used to when he saw little kids who were victimized by war or disaster, but he doesn't approach Frank, not immediately.

He watches him hug Kamala first, calm her down, and then when he steps up it's almost casual.

"This is some crazy shit," he says. The tone's matter-of-fact; Frank's not the kind of person you ask outright if he's okay. "Some crazy, sick shit. What's the point of it?"

[oorah]

Frank seems mostly at ease by the time Rhodey approaches, and all he can really do is laugh when presented with that commentary. He pushes a hand back through his long hair and shakes his head. "Kilgrave. That's the only sick, crazy asshole who knows what the point of this sick, crazy shit was." It's not entirely true, but it was too good to pass up. Convenient that now everyone wants to know his deal, that now they believe him. But that's not on Rhodey and he wouldn't put it on him after what he'd unwittingly shared with the group himself. "I led Supergirl into the woods so Jessica could snatch him and kill him. I was collateral damage." He's still smiling as he sucks his lower lip into his mouth and glances around at this psycho set-up they've found themselves in. "Was glad to do it, too. I'd do it again, even if I wouldn't come back. Actually: probably better if I didn't." Because then he wouldn't have been enlisted himself by that sick freak. But he needs a moment before getting to all that.

Operation Thread Merge

[constructionzone]

He remembers Kilgrave, from before. He doesn't remember him personally, of course, because in the last few years what the Avengers had done was what was allowed - and maybe that's as much of why he broke rank as Thanos. He spent too much time wondering what they could have all helped with if they weren't on such a short leash.

Worries for another time, though.

"There are a few people I can think of who are better off dead," Rhodey says. "So far I wouldn't count you among them. Kilgrave, though, from what I know of from back home - probably ought to be shot on sight." He pauses. "Doesn't mean you don't sometimes wish it anyway.

He had, especially around the time they've all just seen. For the cheerfulness and quipping they'd seen when it was his turn, despair had been easy back then. He's never died, he thinks; he figures, though, that there's a reason people say it's harder to live.

cw: suicidal ideation

[oorah]

"Jess killed him three times, Rhodes. Twice in that place. Didn't matter."

No one listened to them, just as no one had listened to her in New York until it was way too damn late. He blows his breath out his nose in a thin stream.

"I don't— wish it, I mean. I can't explain it, but... for a long time it's all I could think about, you know. Going to see my family. I figured that's the way it would end for me, once I finished." Once he avenged them, he means. He always thought he'd be dead afterward, but when he wasn't it was like a second birth. "But I didn't die. Maybe I couldn't, maybe survivin' was the only way I could make their deaths mean something."

His eyes well up again, but he doesn't let a single tear fall, just stares at Rhodey and makes the other man accept his truth. He gets wanting to die, but that's not what this was. This was an op that went off without a hitch.

[constructionzone]

His own gaze is steady on Frank's, and he doesn't flinch away from it. Many would, he thinks; Tony wouldn't necessarily get it, it's that soldier "culture" that Tony's never truly understood. It's not a death wish, like Tony had yelled to him more than once long before Iron Man was a thing, it's self-sacrifice. And sometimes that sacrifice is waking up every morning, breathing in and out, laughing and smiling and frowning and crying - all because someone else can't.

Sometimes you can't even say to yourself that the job went wrong, because you and your mates went in knowing that it wasn't designed for you all to come out.

Sometimes you've just got to live.

"My mama used to say that Dad was going to be sad on the day they finally saw each other again," he says. There'd been nothing to avenge with his father's death, of course, it had just been a stupid, senseless accident. "They don't want to see us; they want us to live."

[oorah]

"Maybe." He licks his lips, mulling that over. "But I dunno, Rhodes. You never saw my kids the day I'd come back. It was all they could do to try and tackle me to the ground, even when they were so small..."

It's bittersweet, of course, but right now it feels better to talk about them than it doesn't. These moments are snatched and rare so he's riding it out.

[constructionzone]

"No, that I didn't," he says. And he knows he isn't going to ever get it, not entirely. He knows he gets bits of what Frank's gone through, maybe some bits no one else gets, but he hasn't had a family in the same way. He's been the kid left behind but hasn't had his own kids. It's always going to be different.

"But if you want to talk about it, I can listen."

[oorah]

He nods at the offer, for once it's that easy. Maybe because Rhodey gets the other stuff, or maybe just because he needs someone to hear this, either way.

"My wife, she'd— she'd keep it a secret, when I was comin' back. Then I'd go to their school or wherever they were to surprise 'em. Oh, man, you'd think I was the best thing they'd ever seen. Their little faces would light up, you know? Like I was their whole world." His eyes water, but he's holding it together remarkably well considering the subject matter. "They'd squeeze me so tight I wouldn't be able to breathe, but I didn't care. That shit, that shit is the best feeling. I used to love coming home just for that moment, that look in their eyes."

[constructionzone]

When he came home, Rhodey thinks, there'd been no one to keep secrets from any kids. Sometimes he regrets it, but, he'd made his own family. Sometimes it was an older Navajo woman meeting him at the airport...sometimes it was a black stretch limousine stocked with his favorite scotch.

Frank's story makes him smile as much, but there's a melancholy twist to it. "I had a buddy in the air force, probably before you even met your Maria, and he'd say something almost the same," he says. "That it made it worth it."

[oorah]

Here's where it breaks down. Frank feels distinctly out of joint with the man Rhodey describes. Still he asks, "Did he make it home?" He hopes so, of course he does, that this airman could find his way home after so long. But it isn't the point. Not for him. He's not a veteran in the way Rhodey is, the way his buddy was. "I did. I made it, only to have my home ripped away from me by the same country that put it there."

[constructionzone]

Rhodey is silent for a moment, then he reaches up to rub his hand over his head. "No," he says, "no, went down over Kuwait in Operation Desert Storm." He'd handed his wife the flag, and frankly he's not sure he's ever done anything harder.

Unfortunately a part of Frank's story isn't a shock, and not just because he was aware of the man. Their country was increasingly excellent at fucking over the men and women who fought. "Fucked you right over," he agrees. "It makes it hard to continue to serve."

[oorah]

He nods, bowing his head. "I'm sorry." And he is, deeply. He doesn't think he can talk about this anymore. "How long ago...?" Frank nods to Rhodey's leg. They never really did talk that all the way through when he first met the guy.

[constructionzone]

Rhodey snorts. "What's time, anyway?" He says. "It was about two years ago now. Friendly fire's extra dangerous when you fight with a guy who can shoot lasers out of his head. I fell straight out of the sky."

He squints at the screen, gone dark now. "If I'd known this was coming it's what I would have thought we would have seen. I'm just as glad it wasn't."