Back From The Future - OTA

[skyward_eyes]

WHO: Nida
WHERE: South Village Fountain, Around South Village, North Village Bakery
WHEN: March 18 through end of March
OPEN TO: Some OTAs, Closed threads for Iron Bull,
WARNINGS: Discussion of death and suicidal ideation

---

Not So Triumphant Return | Fountain | Closed to Iron Bull


Not for the first time, Nida comes awake underwater. Some small part of his brain says this is familiar, the way awareness sneaks in even as the weight of the stuff presses down. The way his body aches to strain toward the surface, his legs want to kick out, kick up, seek a surface and the sweetness of air in his lungs. It’s happened before, something in his mind tells him, even though he also knows he’s never experienced such a thing back home before.

Back home. The words carry an odd sort of weight in his brain as pieces settle together and, in spite of himself, his legs kick out for the surface. What did his brain mean by that? What was it pulling at, what was this thread it wanted and tugged at like it mattered? That didn’t make sense, at all. Being in the water didn’t make sense either.

What he remembered last was his room back in Balamb. What he remembered was putting his fist through the mirror in the bathroom because he couldn’t stand to see himself reflected in it. What he remembered was the pain in his hand from where the glass had cut, and how good it had felt to just feel something after Elijah. How the weight of the glass had felt in his hand. How…

Oh. Right. That. The very line of thought finds Nida stopping his progress toward the surface. Does he really want to find that breath? Does he want to keep going? He’ll leave it to fate, he decides. Surely if he’s meant to keep going there will be some sort of sign, right?


Going Home Again | South Village | Closed to Seifer

He’d asked for a sign and it had come for him, which he supposed was saying more than he really should have expected. Fine. If these Observers wanted him to keep going, if Bull was right about all he’d said, then Nida wasn’t going to fight it. He was going to try. And of course the first thing he had to try was seeing if he really could be accepted, contrary to his fears. Of course the question was how he was supposed to go about it. For a few minutes he plays with the green band at his wrist, a burden restored, but the chance for communication back. It had only been a few days. How had a year and a half, give or take, only taken days? The very question hurt in ways he couldn’t explain, but he could still feel the powers he now remembered buying, the winds still danced at his call, so clearly he hadn’t been gone long. Which meant reaching out for the next step wasn’t easy.

A simple message sent to those he remembered worked the forge. People who might be around Seifer right now. Surely one of them could pass on his summons, asking Seifer to come get him and walk him home.

Because right now, he didn’t want to be alone. He wanted that connection he hadn’t had back in their world, the brotherhood he dared not seek out there. He needed someone who would might understand just how badly he was hurting.


Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? | House 58 | Closed to Billy

And here was the worst part of coming back. It had taken some time to work up the courage to do this. Granted he knew he couldn’t put it off past this, his first day back. As much as he wanted to push the rest of the small world the villages represented aside for a while, there were those few people he couldn’t avoid. There was his family, two brothers he had chosen while he was here and Rinoa. He might be able to put off Jason until tomorrow unless Seifer found the guy and brought him home. But this? He had to know today. If he was going to hurt, if he was going to hurt over this, he wanted it over and done with soon, when all the rest of the pain was still fresh. Get it all out at once.

Yet here he was, scared as he stood outside of Billy’s door. What if he wasn’t home? What if Billy said no? What if he… No. He wouldn’t borrow trouble. It would come soon enough.

Heart in his throat, Nida finally raised his fist and knocked on the door. Moment of reckoning he supposed.


Bunny Bread for the Soul | North Village Bakery | Closed to Malik

Routine didn’t really suit him on his first few days back, to be honest. His memories were still finding ways to slot around one another, some way to rectify the months he’d spent here and all the time that had passed back home. It sort of made it different, trying to find his stride once more. It was like he’d stumbled when running a track, only to find that he’d lost a single shoe upon getting back up. How were you supposed to keep a regular pace when your entire gait was off? It led to long mornings conscious but not wanting to move when he woke in a bed that wasn’t at Garden. It meant sitting at the table in the kitchen longer than he normally did, settling in there after he took care of cleaning the dishes if his housemates allowed him. It meant not making his previously self-appointed rounds at the dojo, helping people learn to be better able to protect themselves.

And now it had led to something else entirely. Slipping out from under the watchful gaze of his keepers. As much as he appreciated his family for keeping such careful eyes out for him after what he’d alluded or rarely even admitted to those people who cared about him, that didn’t mean he could handle them always there, watching over him. What he needed was something else. Somewhere he could think, somewhere he didn’t have to see the pity or pain or understanding. Somewhere… somewhere that he might get treated like little to nothing had changed. And he knew where to go for that.

North village was a long walk, and Nida let himself get a good bit of the way before sending a message back to those who would worry that he was off to get fresh bread. Which of course meant a hike to the Northern Bakery, because that was where the guy who knew how to make bread was. And when he finally arrived and pushed into the warm smells of the building, he almost smiled. Almost. Hyne, was there a better scent than this?

Still, time to make his presence known. And in this case he did it in the only way that seemed reasonable to him.

“Dragons,” he announced from the doorway when he didn’t immediately see Malik, “totally count.”


Home Is Where The Bed Is | House 16 | OTA


Stealing was wrong. That much Nida was absolutely certain of, and for once he’d actually gone in person to request paper from the guy that was apparently rolling in it. There must have been something truly pathetic about his face because that Reeve guy let him go with a surprising number of sheets. But there had to be a way to get this all to sort out in his mind, right? A way to get things straight in his brain. Which is why he’s there on the steps leading down from his porch now, leaning heavily against the railing on one side. He doesn’t want to keep Seifer or Rinoa from coming or going at their own pace, and since he’s pretty much forbidden from roofs at the moment, there’s not much he can do but sit there and draw.

He draws anything and everything that comes to mind. Remembered moments from time here, like the grand ballroom from the New Year’s Eve party. He draws monsters from his world in the middle of battles against people he knows. He draws people from the village going about their lives. He draws a body crumpled on a black and white checkered floor, a sword discarded at its side.

Nida hisses when he sees the way his hands have betrayed him, crumpling up the paper in question and hurling it away from him. And he really didn’t mean to hit someone with the paper as they passed.


Guess Who’s Back? | Around South Village | OTA

How do you fit back into a life that is both a few days and yet a year and a half behind you? It’s an adjustment that Nida is having trouble with. Still, there has to be some semblance of order to his life, and he tries to follow it as well as he can. But everything seems to get off to a slower start. His patrols around the village come later in the day and only ever when he’s signed up with someone else with the watch what, clearly he doesn’t trust himself to be alone and away from people. Frequently Nida shows up at the inn for lunch and stays throughout the full of the rush, just to people watch. And of course there is the dojo which is is still responsible for. More and more of his free time there is spent on pummelling things with his basic staff or tanbo, rather than trying to improve the place. Clearly an adjustment period is needed. But those who are really lucky will find Nida sitting on a bench in the fountain park, considering the water and held back from it by the weight of a cat in his lap that clearly just needs pet.

Comments

Fountain.

[ataashihunter]

It is pure luck that Bull is walking past the fountain at the right time, but he glances over and sees someone under the surface and he doesn't even think as he runs over. It is a reach but he manages to grab a fistful of their scrubs and drag them out of the fountain. It isn't until he has them on the ground that his brain is starting to catch up with him and he recognises the face. It is older, different, but there is no mistaking it.

"Nida!"

Suddenly Bull's training shifts into high gear, first he checks if Nida is breathing, ready to do what he can to get the water out of his lungs.

"Nida, can you hear me?"

[skyward_eyes]

Seems Hyne made a decision, and Nida doesn't struggle against the pull. For a moment, it's almost like flying, and he really misses that. Maybe... maybe he can just find some small place and help them with crop planes or whatever.

And then there's a voice that makes things a bit... more complicated. Iron Bull his brain supplies, and that just makes his brain shut down for half a moment. Okay. There is no one on his planet called that, that he knows. And while he sputters through the water in his lungs there's not really a choice but to think about what that means. Once he is breathing, really breathing, there is a slight wheeze as he strains, because he hurts right now.

"Bull," he says, his voice feels raw. But then he's closing his eyes and refusing to look up. "This is a dream. This is only a dream. This can't be real."

Still his hand comes up to touch his chin. Yeah, facial hair. Hands further, carding through longer hair. And when his fingers search for it, a scar under the hairline that hadn't been there before. Okay. Yeah. So definitely been through all that he immediately remembers. There is a flash of fear on his face. There are things he doesn't want to look for right now. First, though, he has to make sure this is real.

"Where am I?"

[ataashihunter]

Bull smiles slightly to himself as Nida speaks. Ok that is good. He finds the other's pulse and checks it and then he runs his hands over him, checking for any injuries. None, other than the near drowning.

"You're back in the Village. Remember where that is? I just pulled you out of the fountain." And onto the cold ground. Yeah that won't do. "I'm going to pick you up, my place is close by and warm. Alright?" He doesn't really wait for an answer, just picks Nida up as well as his bag and then starts making his way back to his place.

"We'll get you nice and warmed up, alright."

[skyward_eyes]

Back. Back in a place that he didn't even remember a few hours ago. But being pulled out of the fountain is familiar because he remembers arriving before, by Squall. Squall who was gone. He was here with people, and it all fits back in to his mind easily. And of course he doesn't know what is real and what isn't.

And then he's off his feet and for the life of him Nida's instinct is to fight. To lash out, because his training is already presenting a few different approaches. In Bull's arms he's stiff, an unnatural weight because he's fighting against all of his instincts. They scream in protest to be in someone else's power. Which is stupid because he trusts Bull.

Or he used to.

"How long have I been gone? Was I even gone?"

Nothing makes sense.

House 58

[demiurgency]

It barely takes Billy a second to open the door. After all, he's been hoping that someone would come back with word from Nida, or about him; something is better than nothing, better than wondering. He'd just gotten back from another trip through the woods, just sat down for a moment to rest, but that knock could be someone with news.

Or it could be Nida.

The door flies open, and Billy stands there for just a moment, stunned. Of course he'd been hoping, but to actually see Nida there in front of him? He barely even pauses to take in the look of him, to process any of it before he's hurling himself forward, wrapping his arms around Nida as tightly as he can, if Nida doesn't stop him.

Re: House 58

[skyward_eyes]

It's the most harrowing seconds of Nida's life, even if they are a bit shorter than Nida expects them to be. Okay, no, that's a definite exaggeration. He's been through worse in the months and yet days since he had left. Left, taken, it's all the same.

The speed is still there, still pounding in his blood, and if he wanted he could move away before those arms curl around him. But right now, Hyne, right now he's greedy for the affection. Less than a day ago he was barely ready to open up his eyes when the morning came, and now he's somewhere else. Somewhere he's back to with no warning, and no idea that he should have missed it.

Now he's safe in Billy's arms and the tension in his body has to admit in spite of him his he doesn't know what to do with this.

"Billy," he whispers, and there is as much uncertainty in his voice as there is within the hug. "Billy, look at me."

[demiurgency]

For a moment, all that matters is the solidity of Nida's body in his arms, and Billy's trembling with relief and joy and shock as he holds the man he thought he'd lost. Yeah, maybe they'd only known each other for a few months, maybe they'd only been dating for one of those, but he cared so much about Nida, and to find him gone like that had hurt in ways he hadn't known he could hurt.

But that's just a moment, and after that moment Nida whispers his name, tells him to look at him, and it feels like the bottom drops out of Billy's heart, that fragile joy being crushed in a fist of doubt. Why does he sound like that? Why is he so tense, why isn't he...

He doesn't want to look. He doesn't want to let go, because he's suddenly convinced this is going to be the last time he gets to touch Nida, and he doesn't want that to be true. But he can't say no. So after a breath, his hands loosen, sliding to Nida's shoulders as Billy leans back far enough to see Nida's face. And it's not the face that left, is it? He looks older. Sadder. Broken and hollow and hurting. Billy's face is clouded, aching, and he wants to lift a hand to Nida's cheek, to pull him back, but that wouldn't be fair, would it? He should ask what's wrong. He should. He's too scared to.

"I thought you were gone. Really gone. Not coming back." His own words are whispered, too, and the ache in them is audible.

[skyward_eyes]

"Mine if I come in for a moment?" Nida asks, his voice still soft, the words still weighty.

Except he doesn't know that he could take a no. So he puts an arm around Billy, stepping around him to pull the man inside. He kicks the door closed behind him and after a moment he reaches for Billy's hand. Pulls him over to the couch and with a bit of pressure on Billy's shoulders, gets him to sit down. Nida, though, doesn't sit. He almost immediately starts pacing.

"I was? I think. I'm not sure. I was home. It's been a while. I don't even... It's March back home now, but I'm older. Twenty-one. A lot of things have happened."

While he paces his fingers reach up to rub at his right shoulder. His fingers can feel the scar there, the scar that wasn't there when he was last here in the village. Something new. He can physically feel this scar, which means it's real. Means what he went through was real. Or real enough. Still he paces, the speed that he distantly remembers picking up from the Bunker helping him cross the space quickly.

"I've almost died three times in the last four months. It's been pretty bad. But when I was there, I didn't remember this place. I didn't... I didn't remember you."

Going Home Again

[firacrux]

Every day, for at least a few hours, Seifer had been searching. By now he had pretty well accepted that it was hopeless, but he'd searched anyway. He hadn't been ready to give up, fruitless though it may be. As such it was lucky Nida caught someone at the forge who could find him, he did spend some time there just to get his mind off the worry. Good luck, or good timing, ensured he got the message shortly after Nida sent it around.

He was back. Without more than a 'where is he?' as a question he was off like a shot. Out the door and barely remembering to leave his hammer behind in his rush to go fetch his brother to bring him home.

Re: Going Home Again

[skyward_eyes]

He waits outside of Bull's place, sitting on the porch. It's cold outside, at least cold compared to home. Spring here is warmer than they've earned, but colder than he'd had in Galbadia only a week ago. Definitely warmer than Balamb. Warmer than his SeeD single. Warmer than...

The sound of quick footsteps tells him all he needs to know. He looks up and the man who looks at Seifer isn't the man who disappeared. Older, tired, pained. His hair is more than three days longer, it's months longer, and it's definitely not in the military precision cut he'd had before. Buzzed short on the sides, long on the top and the back, and that means it flops around his head a little, looking as limp and dead as he is.

"Seifer... Seifer I'm..."

His voice breaks before he gets the words out. But the pain on his face, the way his hands start shaking, they say it all.

Seifer, I'm not okay.

[firacrux]

His steps falter only a moment when taking in the sight of Nida before him. Older, worn, not the happy hopeful man who had left this place only a few days ago. It looked like he'd been gone for years. Whatever had happened, whatever Nida had been through, there would be time for questions later.

Right now Seifer was just so overjoyed to see him and overwhelmed with a desire to make whatever was so bad better he didn't even say anything, just swooped in to gather Nida up in a fierce hug. Like he could squeeze away the horrors.

"You're back, that's what matters right now. Come on, let's get you home."

[skyward_eyes]

Wow. A hug. Nida is still in Seifer's arms for a moment, but frankly, that was what he wanted. Before he knows it he's in Seifer's arms and he's relaxing there. Because he knows how strong Seifer is. He knows Seifer can protect him. It takes a few moments but he offers no resistance, finally relaxing in Seifer's arms, even as he buries his face in his brother's neck and trying not to cry. Because he can't cry.

"It was bad. I killed him. I killed him and I wanted to die because of it."

The Morning After-ish

[alittlelonger]

[Timey wimey]

It had only been a few days but it felt like so much longer. None of them had stopped looking. Rinoa being the stubborn person she was refused to give up even an ounce of hope, because enough this past few months had happened to think it might just be a fluke or something they did. It wasn't until she found out he had gone and come back that it settled back in, the reminder of how easily all of this is taken away. And given back. But she suspects it's not as simple as that. It's left her with all kinds of thoughts and fears that weren't there before.

She has no way of knowing when Nida will be home again, so she just keeps a kettle consistently warm for when he comes back, and she has food in the fridge that she knows he likes, as if she stockpiled enough for ten people over the past few days. She didn't know what else to do in that state of helplessness. She's waiting, and maybe it'll be awhile, but she doesn't care. Rinoa plays with the bracelet he got her, a gift that meant so much at the time and even more so once he was gone. She sits with her untouched tea and an unread book, staring off into space instead.

Re: The Morning After-ish

[skyward_eyes]

Morning isn't easy. At all. The fact that he's even up and moving should be considered a win, and Nida actually thinks that it might be better not to get out of bed. He definitely doesn't bother with his morning exercise, but he does dress in clean clothes and slips into the kitchen, knowing that sooner or later Seifer would come to make breakfast. Or maybe he already did and Nida hadn't been up early enough to have any.

So when he shuffles into the kitchen he still looks tired, and not really all that put together. There's no denying there are changes now. He hasn't gotten taller, but he is a bit buffer looking. His hair isn't military either, short on the sides and long on the top and back, hanging a bit limp in his face. Clearly he had taken up styling somewhere along Zell's lines at some point, but without product his hair looks about as depressed as he is. Oh, and then there's the facial hair. Clearly something in Nida changed in the time he was gone, to accept looking like this.

Styles popular in Deling City actually. Something that might stick out to Rinoa, but no one else where was likely to pick up on that.

He does pause when he enters, and looks a bit stressed to see her there. So... it was time for this then, wasn't it?

"Rinoa," he greets, his voice pretty devoid of inflection. "We have water for tea?"

[alittlelonger]

Rinoa glances up at him with wide eyes. "Yes, I've kept it on the stove for you...." She feels like she's swimming under water. Like she's slow. Dark eyes give him a long once over and yes she notes all of the things that has changed, especially the ones that no one else might be able to pick up, startled and confused about what it all means. She thinks about the first time she saw him here, and mirrors that unconsciously. Only this time it matters more.

Because when she saw him the first time, she hugged him, and he'd been so surprised that she would, since they weren't close. But now, they were close, or they had been close, and Rinoa slips out of the chair and tries to move into his arms quickly. She just wants to hug him, know he's there, feel him breathe, all sorts of weird possessive things she doesn't really explain to herself. Tears spring to her eyes immediately and don't simmer, they start to fall. "I'm sorry."

[skyward_eyes]

Now, as then, Nida doesn’t quite know what to do when Rinoa moves in for a hug. But, with every physical touch he has gotten a bit better at not flinging away. Bull has learned not to touch, Seifer has held him through the storm of his emotions and Billy...

It is practice that keeps Nida from going stiff in her arms and actually has him wrapping his arms loosely around Rinoa. It isn’t the sort of hug he would have offered even a week ago, but it is better than when he arrived. Until, at least, there is a bit of pressure against his injured shoulder. Then Nida winces in pain, though he doesn’t let go. She needs this, and in some ways he owes her. Owes her more for his survival anyone else here in the village. But she doesn’t need to know that he has more respect for belts as a fashion device now, if only for how they can act as a tourniquet.

“What for? Did you eat the last of the brussel sprouts?”

House 16

[eaglesonofnone]

When the paper hit his robe and landed against his foot, Altaïr bent and picked it up, beginning to uncrumple it thoughtfully. What he saw made perhaps too much sense to him - but rather than crumple it again, he folded it, tucked it away, and then, without a word, came to the steps to seat himself at Nida's side.

He was quiet for a few moments. But then he offered, looking over at the still-younger man, "It is good to see you, Nida."

[skyward_eyes]

He sees the paper hit Altair and goes pale as he sees the man open it to look at the discarded drawing. One that he doesn't discard, but keeps, which makes no sense. But by the time Altair sits next to him on the steps Nida's composed himself again. He'd gotten so much better at hiding things over his time back home. A lot better, and with some time under his belt with the people he knew best and who it would be harder to bullshit, he was calm with slipping one of his masks back in place. In fact, he offers a smile to Altair as he quickly searches for some relevant detail to talk about from before his departure.

"Good to see you getting out of the house again. How is Malik doing? I'm glad that the two of you finally got your act together there."

Deflecting? You bet. Almost makes it seem natural too. Almost. Don't try to fool an assassin Nida, it can't go well.

[eaglesonofnone]

"Malik is well. I am well. We are still working things out, of course, as we have a lifetime of misunderstanding to clear." And then he shifted, just enough to look at Nida head on. He didn't move his hood, but his oddly yellow eyes were still clearly focused on Nida's. "And you - I take it that, for you, it's been some time since you were last here. And from this--"

His hand came to rest over where he had tucked the folded drawing away.

"--I take it that not all that has happened has been pleasant."

Bunnies!

[loyalrebel]

"They only count the way that knowing Latin counts in the 21st Century." Malik replied, coming around the corner with a fairly large cloth covered bowl in his arm. "It is good to see you again, Nida. Would you care to help try to see if we can make dragon buns?"

He's in a decidedly good mood, offering a smile as he sets the bowl on the large worktable. The sharp slightly abstract black tattoo on his forearm is clearly visible without a sleeve covering it, as the warmth in the building makes it comfortable to be down to short sleeves.

Re: Bunnies!

[skyward_eyes]

"I don't even know what Latin is," Nida reminds Malik with a sigh as he considers the man.

Perhaps he hadn't been right to come here today. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin the good mood Malik clearly had gone for him. So he does his best to paste a smile on his face and nodded as Malik offered. Didn't bother commenting on the tattoo either, that was hardly his business.

"What would a dragon bun entail? I warn you, the best I can do with bread is camp cakes."

Which was basically mixing up a rather simple dough of flour and water and cooking it on a hot stone.

Re: Bunnies!

[loyalrebel]

"A language, originated by a people before my time and which evolved in to a few other languages over the centuries but itself is considered dead in the 21st century because nobody actually uses it in everyday life." Malik explained easily, shrugging.

"And you know the basics then, the rest is simply variations in ingredients and methodology. Dragons would be similar to the bunnies I usually do, which is just shaping when you're ready to bake. First though, kneading. If you would like to help, it's pretty easy and I find it a good way to help sort thoughts." He offers, jerking his head for Nida to join him. "Though you can also just sit and watch, there is mint tea by the oven keeping warm if you want it."

dojo

[morphogenia]

Kamala hasn't seen him in a couple of days. To top it off? He comes back looking different; older? She thinks older. There's little else Kamala can think to do, but be super dramatic about it. That is why instead of saying of saying hi to him like a normal person as she enters the dojo and spots him, she sprints at Nida. If you are thinking he is about to get a tackle hug? Congrats. You finally caught onto Kamala's deal.

Re: dojo

[skyward_eyes]

See, Nida had been working on tanbo training, trying to get okay with weapons in his hands again, when he heard the door close. What really gets him to turn, though, is the sound of sprinting feet. He turned with more speed than he should rightly have, still functioning with the enhancements from the bunker's vending machine. He barely has time to process who it is and drop the tanbo before opening his arms to catch Kamala and her hug.

"Kamala," he says, voice soft as he wraps his arms around her. Hugs. This one, like some of the others he'd gotten since returning here, earns a bittersweet smile. He's happy to have her here, even if it's hard to believe he's been missed.

This place is so much different from home.

"Careful. My shoulder is still recovering from a pretty nasty wound. Be gentle with me."

[morphogenia]

"Ah!" Kamala pulls back enough to look at him. She didn't even realize he might be hurt. She'd been too happy to hear he hadn't been lost to them for good. "Okay! I'll be super gentle, I promise." She pats his arm softly to demonstrate. "What happened? Was someone mean to you? Do you need me to beat them up? Because I can if they're here!" She knows they can't be or else a mob would be forming. She still says it because the thought does count.