sixthiterationlogs | Back From The Future

Entry tags:

Back From The Future - OTA

WHO: Nida
WHERE: South Village Fountain, Around South Village, North Village Bakery
WHEN: March 18 through end of March
OPEN TO: Some OTAs, Closed threads for Iron Bull,
WARNINGS: Discussion of death and suicidal ideation

Not So Triumphant Return | Fountain | Closed to Iron Bull

Not for the first time, Nida comes awake underwater. Some small part of his brain says this is familiar, the way awareness sneaks in even as the weight of the stuff presses down. The way his body aches to strain toward the surface, his legs want to kick out, kick up, seek a surface and the sweetness of air in his lungs. It’s happened before, something in his mind tells him, even though he also knows he’s never experienced such a thing back home before.

Back home. The words carry an odd sort of weight in his brain as pieces settle together and, in spite of himself, his legs kick out for the surface. What did his brain mean by that? What was it pulling at, what was this thread it wanted and tugged at like it mattered? That didn’t make sense, at all. Being in the water didn’t make sense either.

What he remembered last was his room back in Balamb. What he remembered was putting his fist through the mirror in the bathroom because he couldn’t stand to see himself reflected in it. What he remembered was the pain in his hand from where the glass had cut, and how good it had felt to just feel something after Elijah. How the weight of the glass had felt in his hand. How…

Oh. Right. That. The very line of thought finds Nida stopping his progress toward the surface. Does he really want to find that breath? Does he want to keep going? He’ll leave it to fate, he decides. Surely if he’s meant to keep going there will be some sort of sign, right?

Going Home Again | South Village | Closed to Seifer

He’d asked for a sign and it had come for him, which he supposed was saying more than he really should have expected. Fine. If these Observers wanted him to keep going, if Bull was right about all he’d said, then Nida wasn’t going to fight it. He was going to try. And of course the first thing he had to try was seeing if he really could be accepted, contrary to his fears. Of course the question was how he was supposed to go about it. For a few minutes he plays with the green band at his wrist, a burden restored, but the chance for communication back. It had only been a few days. How had a year and a half, give or take, only taken days? The very question hurt in ways he couldn’t explain, but he could still feel the powers he now remembered buying, the winds still danced at his call, so clearly he hadn’t been gone long. Which meant reaching out for the next step wasn’t easy.

A simple message sent to those he remembered worked the forge. People who might be around Seifer right now. Surely one of them could pass on his summons, asking Seifer to come get him and walk him home.

Because right now, he didn’t want to be alone. He wanted that connection he hadn’t had back in their world, the brotherhood he dared not seek out there. He needed someone who would might understand just how badly he was hurting.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? | House 58 | Closed to Billy

And here was the worst part of coming back. It had taken some time to work up the courage to do this. Granted he knew he couldn’t put it off past this, his first day back. As much as he wanted to push the rest of the small world the villages represented aside for a while, there were those few people he couldn’t avoid. There was his family, two brothers he had chosen while he was here and Rinoa. He might be able to put off Jason until tomorrow unless Seifer found the guy and brought him home. But this? He had to know today. If he was going to hurt, if he was going to hurt over this, he wanted it over and done with soon, when all the rest of the pain was still fresh. Get it all out at once.

Yet here he was, scared as he stood outside of Billy’s door. What if he wasn’t home? What if Billy said no? What if he… No. He wouldn’t borrow trouble. It would come soon enough.

Heart in his throat, Nida finally raised his fist and knocked on the door. Moment of reckoning he supposed.

Bunny Bread for the Soul | North Village Bakery | Closed to Malik

Routine didn’t really suit him on his first few days back, to be honest. His memories were still finding ways to slot around one another, some way to rectify the months he’d spent here and all the time that had passed back home. It sort of made it different, trying to find his stride once more. It was like he’d stumbled when running a track, only to find that he’d lost a single shoe upon getting back up. How were you supposed to keep a regular pace when your entire gait was off? It led to long mornings conscious but not wanting to move when he woke in a bed that wasn’t at Garden. It meant sitting at the table in the kitchen longer than he normally did, settling in there after he took care of cleaning the dishes if his housemates allowed him. It meant not making his previously self-appointed rounds at the dojo, helping people learn to be better able to protect themselves.

And now it had led to something else entirely. Slipping out from under the watchful gaze of his keepers. As much as he appreciated his family for keeping such careful eyes out for him after what he’d alluded or rarely even admitted to those people who cared about him, that didn’t mean he could handle them always there, watching over him. What he needed was something else. Somewhere he could think, somewhere he didn’t have to see the pity or pain or understanding. Somewhere… somewhere that he might get treated like little to nothing had changed. And he knew where to go for that.

North village was a long walk, and Nida let himself get a good bit of the way before sending a message back to those who would worry that he was off to get fresh bread. Which of course meant a hike to the Northern Bakery, because that was where the guy who knew how to make bread was. And when he finally arrived and pushed into the warm smells of the building, he almost smiled. Almost. Hyne, was there a better scent than this?

Still, time to make his presence known. And in this case he did it in the only way that seemed reasonable to him.

“Dragons,” he announced from the doorway when he didn’t immediately see Malik, “totally count.”

Home Is Where The Bed Is | House 16 | OTA

Stealing was wrong. That much Nida was absolutely certain of, and for once he’d actually gone in person to request paper from the guy that was apparently rolling in it. There must have been something truly pathetic about his face because that Reeve guy let him go with a surprising number of sheets. But there had to be a way to get this all to sort out in his mind, right? A way to get things straight in his brain. Which is why he’s there on the steps leading down from his porch now, leaning heavily against the railing on one side. He doesn’t want to keep Seifer or Rinoa from coming or going at their own pace, and since he’s pretty much forbidden from roofs at the moment, there’s not much he can do but sit there and draw.

He draws anything and everything that comes to mind. Remembered moments from time here, like the grand ballroom from the New Year’s Eve party. He draws monsters from his world in the middle of battles against people he knows. He draws people from the village going about their lives. He draws a body crumpled on a black and white checkered floor, a sword discarded at its side.

Nida hisses when he sees the way his hands have betrayed him, crumpling up the paper in question and hurling it away from him. And he really didn’t mean to hit someone with the paper as they passed.

Guess Who’s Back? | Around South Village | OTA

How do you fit back into a life that is both a few days and yet a year and a half behind you? It’s an adjustment that Nida is having trouble with. Still, there has to be some semblance of order to his life, and he tries to follow it as well as he can. But everything seems to get off to a slower start. His patrols around the village come later in the day and only ever when he’s signed up with someone else with the watch ~~what, clearly he doesn’t trust himself to be alone and away from people~~. Frequently Nida shows up at the inn for lunch and stays throughout the full of the rush, just to people watch. And of course there is the dojo which is is still responsible for. More and more of his free time there is spent on pummelling things with his basic staff or tanbo, rather than trying to improve the place. Clearly an adjustment period is needed. But those who are really lucky will find Nida sitting on a bench in the fountain park, considering the water and held back from it by the weight of a cat in his lap that clearly just needs pet.

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It is pure luck that Bull is walking past the fountain at the right time, but he glances over and sees someone under the surface and he doesn't even think as he runs over. It is a reach but he manages to grab a fistful of their scrubs and drag them out of the fountain. It isn't until he has them on the ground that his brain is starting to catch up with him and he recognises the face. It is older, different, but there is no mistaking it.

"Nida!"

Suddenly Bull's training shifts into high gear, first he checks if Nida is breathing, ready to do what he can to get the water out of his lungs.

"Nida, can you hear me?"

It barely takes Billy a second to open the door. After all, he's been hoping that someone would come back with word from Nida, or about him; something is better than nothing, better than wondering. He'd just gotten back from another trip through the woods, just sat down for a moment to rest, but that knock could be someone with news.

Or it could be Nida.

The door flies open, and Billy stands there for just a moment, stunned. Of course he'd been hoping, but to actually see Nida there in front of him? He barely even pauses to take in the look of him, to process any of it before he's hurling himself forward, wrapping his arms around Nida as tightly as he can, if Nida doesn't stop him.

Seems Hyne made a decision, and Nida doesn't struggle against the pull. For a moment, it's almost like flying, and he really misses that. Maybe... maybe he can just find some small place and help them with crop planes or whatever.

And then there's a voice that makes things a bit... more complicated. Iron Bull his brain supplies, and that just makes his brain shut down for half a moment. Okay. There is no one on his planet called that, that he knows. And while he sputters through the water in his lungs there's not really a choice but to think about what that means. Once he is breathing, really breathing, there is a slight wheeze as he strains, because he hurts right now.

"Bull," he says, his voice feels raw. But then he's closing his eyes and refusing to look up. "This is a dream. This is only a dream. This can't be real."

Still his hand comes up to touch his chin. Yeah, facial hair. Hands further, carding through longer hair. And when his fingers search for it, a scar under the hairline that hadn't been there before. Okay. Yeah. So definitely been through all that he immediately remembers. There is a flash of fear on his face. There are things he doesn't want to look for right now. First, though, he has to make sure this is real.

"Where am I?"

It's the most harrowing seconds of Nida's life, even if they are a bit shorter than Nida expects them to be. Okay, no, that's a definite exaggeration. He's been through worse in the months and yet days since he had left. Left, taken, it's all the same.

The speed is still there, still pounding in his blood, and if he wanted he could move away before those arms curl around him. But right now, Hyne, right now he's greedy for the affection. Less than a day ago he was barely ready to open up his eyes when the morning came, and now he's somewhere else. Somewhere he's back to with no warning, and no idea that he should have missed it.

Now he's safe in Billy's arms and the tension in his body has to admit in spite of him his he doesn't know what to do with this.

"Billy," he whispers, and there is as much uncertainty in his voice as there is within the hug. "Billy, look at me."

For a moment, all that matters is the solidity of Nida's body in his arms, and Billy's trembling with relief and joy and shock as he holds the man he thought he'd lost. Yeah, maybe they'd only known each other for a few months, maybe they'd only been dating for one of those, but he cared so much about Nida, and to find him gone like that had hurt in ways he hadn't known he could hurt.

But that's just a moment, and after that moment Nida whispers his name, tells him to look at him, and it feels like the bottom drops out of Billy's heart, that fragile joy being crushed in a fist of doubt. Why does he sound like that? Why is he so tense, why isn't he...

He doesn't want to look. He doesn't want to let go, because he's suddenly convinced this is going to be the last time he gets to touch Nida, and he doesn't want that to be true. But he can't say no. So after a breath, his hands loosen, sliding to Nida's shoulders as Billy leans back far enough to see Nida's face. And it's not the face that left, is it? He looks older. Sadder. Broken and hollow and hurting. Billy's face is clouded, aching, and he wants to lift a hand to Nida's cheek, to pull him back, but that wouldn't be fair, would it? He should ask what's wrong. He should. He's too scared to.

"I thought you were gone. Really gone. Not coming back." His own words are whispered, too, and the ache in them is audible.

"Mine if I come in for a moment?" Nida asks, his voice still soft, the words still weighty.

Except he doesn't know that he could take a no. So he puts an arm around Billy, stepping around him to pull the man inside. He kicks the door closed behind him and after a moment he reaches for Billy's hand. Pulls him over to the couch and with a bit of pressure on Billy's shoulders, gets him to sit down. Nida, though, doesn't sit. He almost immediately starts pacing.

"I was? I think. I'm not sure. I was home. It's been a while. I don't even... It's March back home now, but I'm older. Twenty-one. A lot of things have happened."

While he paces his fingers reach up to rub at his right shoulder. His fingers can feel the scar there, the scar that wasn't there when he was last here in the village. Something new. He can physically feel this scar, which means it's real. Means what he went through was real. Or real enough. Still he paces, the speed that he distantly remembers picking up from the Bunker helping him cross the space quickly.

"I've almost died three times in the last four months. It's been pretty bad. But when I was there, I didn't remember this place. I didn't... I didn't remember you."

He'd never say no to Nida, not any version of him, no matter how long it's been. The words aren't doing that sinking feeling in his chest any good, but it helps to have Nida's arm around him, to have Nida taking his hand, even if it's just to lead him in to the living room and to sit him on the couch. He wishes Nida would sit, too, but maybe it's better this way. He understands needing to move while you talk, and that means he can fold his arms in his lap and try to hide the way his fingers are clenching each other almost hard enough to draw blood.

So it's been at least a year. Nida was nineteen when he'd gotten here the first time, and now he's twenty-one, so at least a year and change. A year back home, a year not remembering anything or anyone he'd known here. Billy considers it, considers his words, trying to suppress the chill and dread that run through him at the idea of Nida dying somewhere away from him. At the idea of Nida dying at all. It's a lot to take in, but honestly given his world, it's not the strangest thing Billy's ever lived through. It's nowhere near enough to counteract his relief at knowing Nida's back. But the way he says that last part, the way he's been so tense, the way he's acting...

"...Do you remember now?" His question is hesitant, feeling its way to a conclusion he doesn't want to reach.

The question gets Nida to come to an abrupt halt. Just freezes as he looks at Billy. Would he be here if he didn't? Clearly he's made Billy more nervous than he perhaps should be. How does he fix that? Because even now his heart aches at the idea of making Billy hurt. One thing he's figured out, though, is that while he wasn't certain how he'd felt about Elijah, he is absolutely certain how he feels about Billy.

"I do, Billy. Part of the reason I wasn't sure if I should come here tonight is because I remember. Because I don't know that you'll want me anymore. I went back to it so easy, to Garden and SeeD and all I did there. To being the SeeD who hurts people. Kills. I told you I'd be better, and I wasn't."

Every day, for at least a few hours, Seifer had been searching. By now he had pretty well accepted that it was hopeless, but he'd searched anyway. He hadn't been ready to give up, fruitless though it may be. As such it was lucky Nida caught someone at the forge who could find him, he did spend some time there just to get his mind off the worry. Good luck, or good timing, ensured he got the message shortly after Nida sent it around.

He was back. Without more than a 'where is he?' as a question he was off like a shot. Out the door and barely remembering to leave his hammer behind in his rush to go fetch his brother to bring him home.

Edited 2019-03-18 01:30 (UTC)

He waits outside of Bull's place, sitting on the porch. It's cold outside, at least cold compared to home. Spring here is warmer than they've earned, but colder than he'd had in Galbadia only a week ago. Definitely warmer than Balamb. Warmer than his SeeD single. Warmer than...

The sound of quick footsteps tells him all he needs to know. He looks up and the man who looks at Seifer isn't the man who disappeared. Older, tired, pained. His hair is more than three days longer, it's months longer, and it's definitely not in the military precision cut he'd had before. Buzzed short on the sides, long on the top and the back, and that means it flops around his head a little, looking as limp and dead as he is.

"Seifer... Seifer I'm..."

His voice breaks before he gets the words out. But the pain on his face, the way his hands start shaking, they say it all.

Seifer, I'm not okay.

He could be. Maybe someone--he can't be the first person who's seen Nida, Nida's not still soaking from the fountain and he's a little too put together to not have already run into someone else, and if he thinks about it maybe the fact that no one had told him would hurt, but that thought is far away from the current moment--maybe someone had told him that he and Billy had been dating, and he'd come here to say he couldn't, he didn't want to, any number of things that would shatter Billy's heart all over again.

But he doesn't say that, and there's a noticeable wave of relief that passes over Billy's face, takes some of that tension from his shoulders, clears a hint of the clouds from his brow. It's not the only thing he says, an important thing but so is the rest, and Billy fights the urge to stand and drag Nida into his arms again, instead unclenching his fingers and reaching up to worry at one of the silver hoops in his earlobes. "Nida--" He starts, and stops, and starts again. How is he supposed to do this? How can he possibly explain, make Nida believe him? Fuck this. Fuck sitting, and fuck distance. He stands to match Nida, within arm's reach but not reaching out, not yet. "Of course I want you, god. Of course I do. You were a SeeD for so much longer than you were here, and you never even knew you'd stopped, how could I be mad at you for doing what you were trained to do when you didn't even know you could stop?" He doesn't understand where this is all coming from. Nida didn't remember. There's nothing to blame, nothing to forgive. And maybe he had done terrible things, but he's here, isn't he? Feeling guilty, feeling wrecked over something he couldn't remember? Why on earth, on any planet, would he make Nida feel any worse at all about that?

"I don't care what you did. Maybe I should. Maybe it means I'm selfish, but I don't care. I had you for a month, and then I didn't have you any more, and it hurt so much--" His voice catches, and he stops to breathe, pain in his chest sharp and aching. He wants to reach out. But Nida needs to believe him. "If you need to figure things out first, I get it. You've been gone a while on your end. But I know what I want, and that's you. Okay?"

His steps falter only a moment when taking in the sight of Nida before him. Older, worn, not the happy hopeful man who had left this place only a few days ago. It looked like he'd been gone for years. Whatever had happened, whatever Nida had been through, there would be time for questions later.

Right now Seifer was just so overjoyed to see him and overwhelmed with a desire to make whatever was so bad better he didn't even say anything, just swooped in to gather Nida up in a fierce hug. Like he could squeeze away the horrors.

"You're back, that's what matters right now. Come on, let's get you home."

Wow. A hug. Nida is still in Seifer's arms for a moment, but frankly, that was what he wanted. Before he knows it he's in Seifer's arms and he's relaxing there. Because he knows how strong Seifer is. He knows Seifer can protect him. It takes a few moments but he offers no resistance, finally relaxing in Seifer's arms, even as he buries his face in his brother's neck and trying not to cry. Because he can't cry.

"It was bad. I killed him. I killed him and I wanted to die because of it."

It's okay to cry. Seifer will just hold him there, he's more than strong enough to hold them both up. He's just so relieved to have Nida back, he was sure he'd never return. Never heard of anyone being taken and then returning. Yet here Nida is. Older, worn, obviously gone through something traumatic but it's definitely him. He's solid and real. That's all that matters right now.

"Who did you kill? What happened?" He asked softly, just holding Nida tight. Letting him take the time he needs to get it out.

There's a moment of hesitation when Billy moves. Like he's ready to back away. Like he's doing to dodge away from a hug. But none is offered, and so he can stay there, looking away from Billy. It hurts to say all of this, but he has to be honest, right? They have to be honest. It's good to have all of this said, but it doesn't change that he knows something Billy doesn't.

"I was with someone, Nida. I told you I used to train with a swordsman. Elijah. I was with someone else, Billy. I was cheating on you."

Please just... let him give you an out. His own chest aches, his whole body aches. He wants another hug because the ones he's had so far don't even begin to make up for what he needs right now. Because he knows where he was before he woke up in that fountain.

"The man I was sleeping with," he answers, truly settling into those arms.

Would they have been as comforting back in their world? Could he have found peace there, at Seifer's side? Even now he doesn't know what was up with Seifer. The conflict made it even harder to keep up with the other man. Was Seifer even okay back there? Had he failed Seifer as badly as he failed Elijah?

"I thought maybe I might be in love with him. That I could be. I wasn't. But I could have been. And I killed him, on his own sword, and almost bled out. I came home a hero for it. There was applause."

Should they be having this discussion on Bull's porch? Probably not, didn't matter, right now Seifer didn't really care. Nida was back, he was in a bad way, and he apparently needed a shoulder more than he needed to get home right now.

Now that Nida was talking some of the pieces of the puzzle were coming through. He'd gone back home, three days here, quite a bit longer there. Upon return he'd brought all those memories with him. Was Nida now much older than him? Hardly fair. Seifer wasn't about to complain right now. Not while Nida needed someone to listen.

"Found yourselves on opposite sides of a confrontation I'm guessing?" He offers, no judgement in his tone. It's the way of their life. The way of SeeD. To be a mercenary was to be ready for that eventuality. They all knew that. Some took to it better than others, some hid it better than others, and some like Nida were torn apart by it.

"He betrayed Garden," Nida whispers. Which makes it hurt even more here and now. Because there's a parallel to Seifer there. Seifer betrayed them too, and Nida swore that Seifer wouldn't be hurt. And now here he was, saying he killed the next man to do it. "Elijah was always there for me, Seifer. Since I first came to Garden. And I killed him on his own sword. He loved me, and I killed him."

And that's when the tears finally come, torn from Nida with a pained noise that might be a sob in another situation. His arms tighten around Seifer and...

It's been a while, in his frame of reference. It has been a while since he was here, and the powers still bubble under his skin. In the pain of it, in the agony, in the need he can't help but try and push at his feelings. And since they have nowhere to go, the power answers. They all answer. The strength of green settles over his skin, his heart races faster, and the winds kick up around them, racing around them, whirling tightly, a barrier of wind just for them.

Oh. Yeah. It's impossible to miss. Seifer betrayed Garden and died for it, too. It's not the best news to hear, even if it's not surprising. How could Nida hope to keep a promise like the one he'd made to Seifer? If it were demanded loudly enough, what choice would they have? "Why?" It's the obvious question. Why could Elijah not be spared?

There the tears are. Seifer just tightens his hold, hugging Nida tight against the quite literal storm of emotions. It's clear enough to him this wasn't a cold blood situation. Had to be more to it than that. Something happened that couldn't be avoided, and now Nida was paying for it in grief. Nida could take all the time he needed to let out his grief.

Why? What a question. But it's a legitimate one. How is he supposed to explain? There's so much that happened, so much that hurt.

"He betrayed us. He almost got a few Balamb SeeDs killed. He spied on us, betrayed us in the middle of a war. He... He made me, Seifer. It was me or him. Betrayed us for money and the promise of power in Galbadia when things settled. Military power or whatever. He looked me in the eye and said if you could be free, no one would ever go after him."

And he was wrong. But if Nida had remembered here... If he'd remembered all of this, he might have done something else. And there you go. That doesn't help at all. The guilt of not knowing. It definitely built upon the rest of it. The winds still surge and they press tighter. Press Nida firmly into his brother's arms. A brother he didn't know he had hours ago. Hours ago he'd been alone and...

"He broken my halberd, and ran his sword through my shoulder. He said he loved me and if I just joined him... I pulled his blade from my shoulder, and I ran him through. I can still feel his blood on my hands. I know you hated him, but..."

But please, give him something to make him feel stronger.

Seifer nods, patting his brother on the back to offer what reassurance he could. Elijah and Seifer had never gotten along, it didn't surprise him to hear Elijah used Seifer being spared as an excuse. Probably furious over a situation he didn't understand a damned thing about. "Didn't think that one through, did he?" Sorry for the slip, Nida, there really is no love lost between them.

"Sounds to me like you didn't have another choice. You kill him or he kills you, Nida. And in doing that you probably saved a lot of other lives too." He shook his head lightly, still not letting up on the fierce bear hug. Seifer's not exactly very good at comforting words but he's trying. "Pretty shit thing to do, try to use love as a weapon on top of it." He growled out. Oh, that was going to make things with Billy awkward. Well, no helping it right now. Right now was trying to calm Nida down enough to get him home.

"You did what you had to do. I'm sorry it had to end like that."

That isn't all of it. Nida pulls back from Seifer, shaking just a little. Pulls out of Seifer's arms and looks at him, weak and broken. He looks about ready to collapse under the weight of it all. Instead he rubs his fingers against his wrist as he looks at Seifer. Again the bracelet is gone, the momento of the mother he'd come to remember there.

"I wanted to die. I tried to die," he says, words barely there over the winds. "How am I supposed to be here where I was supposed to be a better person, when I'm trying to be a better person, and know I was too scared to even live there?"

Bull smiles slightly to himself as Nida speaks. Ok that is good. He finds the other's pulse and checks it and then he runs his hands over him, checking for any injuries. None, other than the near drowning.

"You're back in the Village. Remember where that is? I just pulled you out of the fountain." And onto the cold ground. Yeah that won't do. "I'm going to pick you up, my place is close by and warm. Alright?" He doesn't really wait for an answer, just picks Nida up as well as his bag and then starts making his way back to his place.

"We'll get you nice and warmed up, alright."

That almost flinch cuts deep. It really does, enough that the hand at his side fists into the fabric of his jeans, holding on to that to keep steady. Why is he flinching from Billy? He knows there's something else. There has to be.

And then Nida says it.

He can't deny it hurts. Can't hide the heartbreak on his face. But it isn't the idea of Nida having been with another person, the idea of a Nida who didn't remember him at all finding someone to be with, someone to make him happy, that really hurts the most. Because honestly, that? As much as it might hurt, he'd always want Nida to be happy. No, the thing that's killing him, breaking what's left of his heart into pieces, is the conclusion he naturally comes to after Nida's words.

"No, you weren't," he says softly, like he isn't dying by inches. "You didn't remember me, or any part of this place, remember? You were back home, and you didn't know you'd ever been away. That isn't cheating. Not in my book." That part isn't as hard to say, because it's all perfectly true. It's the next words that are hard.

"But--now you're back. And you remember being with Elijah, too. So--if you can't do this, if you're still thinking about him that way, and you can't do this anymore--I understand. I won't push you. But it doesn't change how I feel about you," he finishes, voice almost a whisper. He'll understand if Nida doesn't want to pick up where they left off. For him, it's been so much longer. And he still remembers someone else. What if it had been him, and he and Teddy had ended up getting back together before he came back here? He has literally zero room to judge, even if he wanted to. So he'll understand, even if just making the offer hurts.

Back. Back in a place that he didn't even remember a few hours ago. But being pulled out of the fountain is familiar because he remembers arriving before, by Squall. Squall who was gone. He was here with people, and it all fits back in to his mind easily. And of course he doesn't know what is real and what isn't.

And then he's off his feet and for the life of him Nida's instinct is to fight. To lash out, because his training is already presenting a few different approaches. In Bull's arms he's stiff, an unnatural weight because he's fighting against all of his instincts. They scream in protest to be in someone else's power. Which is stupid because he trusts Bull.

Or he used to.

"How long have I been gone? Was I even gone?"

Nothing makes sense.

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Page 1 of 7

Back From The Future - OTA

Fountain.

House 58

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Re: House 58

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Going Home Again

Re: Going Home Again

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Warnings: Descriptions of Violent Death.

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Warning: Mentions of Self-Harm

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