Nida | FF8 (
skyward_eyes) wrote in
sixthiterationlogs2019-02-05 03:15 pm
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Nida, With A Shiny White Band - Open and Closed Prompts
WHO: Nida
WHERE: (Where the post takes place)
WHEN: February 5th - 15th, Closed Mingle on February 9th
OPEN TO: OTA, one Closed Post for now
WARNINGS: Possible Mentions of Self-Harm
WHERE: (Where the post takes place)
WHEN: February 5th - 15th, Closed Mingle on February 9th
OPEN TO: OTA, one Closed Post for now
WARNINGS: Possible Mentions of Self-Harm
OTA - Dojo - Taking Over
He was asleep when it happened. Somewhere in the night of the fourth the change happened, a screen that made no sense, the band on the device at his wrist turning white. OF course as it was one of those rare nights lately where Nida had gotten some sleep, he hadn't noticed. Instead, when he'd woken up he'd just found himself... moving. He couldn't stand being still anymore, not with all these people who needed a bit of something to keep them moving after those visions. He skipped breakfast that morning
Most of his days are spent in the dojo for the next chunk of days. When he's not actively out talking to others, trying to serve as a support network, he's in the dojo from just before sun up to just after sunset. Sometimes he's sitting on a chair, a knife working over a piece of wood as he cut out the general shape of some practice daggers. Other times he limps
And always, always he calls out a bit cheerfully if someone enters while he's there. Because this space, he has resolved, will welcome all comers. No matter what.
OTA - Around South Village - A Little Luck
You can't always be at the dojo.
Nida had stared at Seifer when he had been told that. Clearly it was not true. Clearly he was more than capable of doing just that. But... Well, he got the point. Being holed up in two places isn't much better than being holed up in one.
So a bit of time every day, usually around the lunch hours, were spent with Nida wandering the village. There were rounds to be made, friends to be found, help to be supplied. And, whenever there was a chance of skin to skin contact, a hand reaching out to touch. Not like people here couldn't use a bit of extra luck.
Closed Mingle - Because You Miss Them - Closed to Seifer, Rinoa, Sam, Billy, Tommy
The boxes show up that morning, just sitting in the kitchen when Nida hobbles in at an ungodly hour. He moves immediately to grab a kitchen knife to cut the first one open. Despite his name being on it, it's full of yarn. He smiles and shakes his head, moving that one aside because he can talk to the others about it later. The next is a larger box, but strangely light for its size. With another few cuts he finds himself pulling out a wok. What in the world could that be...
Somehow he knows what the last box will be. With a quick cut it's open and he starts unloading ingredients into the fridge. Curry. Seems like he had the answer he needed for when and what to cook.
A quick message goes out to the others over the network. He doesn't care how early it is.
Hey nerds, dinner at my house tonight. Red Lamb Curry. Eat at six, come by earlier if you want to help cook. Someone please help cook, I don't want to mess this up.
[OOC: Please see first comment for Mingle, everyone can post their own things under that if they want to interact.]
[OOC: If anyone would like their own closed starter for the first half of this month, please let me know. This is mostly meant to cover Nida through the White part of his Off-Color time.]
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"So something is bothering you." It's the only conclusion he can reach that makes sense. Nida is too skillful to be caught unaware or allow himself to be distracted by an external force. Internal, however, might be just enough to do it. It might also link back to that username of his: Crash and burn? Not a good name for a pilot.
Whatever Nida saw in the shrine had to be the culprit.
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"I'm sure there's something bothering a lot of people right now," Nida counters, turning his attention to Seifer to stare pointedly at him. Of course Seifer has cooking as a barrier to keep him from looking at Nida. "Like you."
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"I don't matter," He's quick to state. In a use of words he knew he should have thought through more carefully before stating it because that was likely to clue Nida in a little too much. He didn't want to talk about it either. "What happened to the brothers and not hiding things from each other thing? You're dodging the question." So is he. Pot, kettle, etc.
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Does he not remember how concerned Nida was for him? Sending him messages through multiple people? Were it not for Nida's overwhelming need to escape, he might have gone searching for Seifer. To support him. As it was...
Seifer's got a point.
"I'm not even remotely okay," he confirms. "But there are people around me hurting, and that is way more important. Helping them. That's what today is about. Dinner with you and Rinoa who are hurting because of what you saw. Dinner with Tommy and Billy because of what Billy saw and them losing Wanda. Dinner, if she shows, with Sam, because I can't even begin to tell you how bad she was losing Danny."
It's about healing. Not necessarily Nida's normal thing, but the white at his wrist... He's not his usual him.
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He remembers, he just has a hard time accepting the truth of it. After all, he thought he mattered to Matron and she tossed himself and Squall into Garden to be chewed up by the war machine. Thought he mattered to Rinoa but she walked off without sparing a second thought until long after the fact. Instead of voice any of this, he just offers a half shrug.
It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. He'd rather not think about it.
"What about you? Can't be killin' yourself ignoring your own hurts over us. Don't worry about me. I deserve it. You on the other hand could use someone to watch your back." Finally he did glance over his shoulder to frown over at Nida. "And what's with the watch?" Color changing? Never heard of that before. At least his finally showed back up.
Seifer doesn't care about healing. Truth was he probably never would. Just have to learn to live with the scars like he has with all the others.
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Look, he's finished the bell pepper. Can he start the onion now? How do you even want those cut.
"I don't know. I woke up with it white like this. And I can't use the durability power now. White imparts luck I heard. And confidence. Requires skin to skin contact."
Look at him, ignoring the comment about ignoring his hurt.
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Chop them small, enjoy that task. He needs to get them cooking.
"Interesting. So the watch does fundamentally influence these abilities we've been given. But taking it away doesn't necessarily turn them off," Which was confirmed last month by his not having it but still having his black powers. "That's not the important question and you know it."
He's not going to let Nida dodge out of it, because Nida doesn't let him. Fair's fair.
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Still avoiding the question, watch him dodge. It will do nothing for Seifer's mental space if he thinks he has to take care of Nida. And since Nida's concern is taking care of Seifer and the people around him, it would not be in his interest to share the truth of what happened.
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"Not until you stop dodging the question." Nope, not going to entertain Nida's efforts to avoid answering him anymore. Talk to him, Nida, he wants to know. Doesn't care about his own mental space that's going to be a mess regardless. Least he could do is look after someone worthwhile for a change. Rather than himself.
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"What do you want to hear, Seifer? I jumped down from the roof. I intended to make sure my legs stung a little, to try and feel something right then. Didn't account for a rock in the dark, turned my ankle on it. Now there is a sprain. Tada. That's the story. Moving on. How do you want these onions done?"
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"Chop them. So you were trying to hurt yourself. Over what you saw?" He's not done pushing, or glaring, because he's not accepting Nida's dodging him anymore. If he's not allowed to disappear and throw himself into the mouth of something big enough to kill him then neither is Nida. Frankly if he didn't have people to come back with he probably would have stayed in the woods. Said fuck it. Found somewhere to lay down and give up in peace.
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What he'd wanted was to feel something other than the strange pain in his chest. The hollowness of realization that seeing that, knowing what his parents looked like didn't make it any better. That...
"For my birthday. I wished I knew their names. It was a mistake."
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Oh... Now he thinks he understands. "Your parents?" He asks more softly. Well, that sure would explain why Nida was in this state now. Maybe wishes in general were a mistake.
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When he said it to Billy, the guy had about flipped over it. Seifer, on the other hand, Seifer would get it. Not only because of Garden, but because of his time as the Knight, under Ultimecia's hold.
"Strategically, I have spent a few nights up realizing that it was a poor tactical decision for them to let me live. I've been spending my nights avoiding the nightmares by analyzing how much easier crushing Timber could have been with some tactical tweaks. How I would have done it. That SeeD part of me just keeps trying to take over, to protect me from the trauma. Compartmentalize, put it aside, be the mercenary and not the man. I needed to feel something to make sure I'm Nida. That I'm me. Not... not him."
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There are many nights where Seifer wonders if it wouldn't have been better if he'd died however his parents did. Or they threw him away somewhere else. However it was he ended up an orphan, he never should have gone to that orphanage. He understands.
"Surprised they did. Galbadia's not known for mercy." Though they also hadn't slaughtered Zone and Watts. The error isn't' without precedence. He nods slowly, heaving a long sigh through his nose. "I'm sorry. That you... I don't know why they're showing us these things. Dredging up the past, or future, or whatever the hell." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry." It's all he can really offer. Empty platitudes really aren't his thing, but he does genuinely regret that Nida's been forced to relive that. "You're not. Nida. You don't have to be Garden's drone anymore. Even if it hurts more out here." Seifer had never been very good at being the Garden drone. He understands how much it hurts.
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And that's what scares him. That he gets it. That he understands it. That he'd do it. Because in some ways he is that Garden drone. And that's what he's scared of. Going back and becoming that. Squall arriving again and becoming that. Because it's easier. Because it was what he was raised to be. It's the weapon he was forged into.
"I tried to do what they teach us, when I saw it. After I screamed my throat raw, I tried to shut down as the rest came back. Analyze. Internalize. Shunt off to the side. And it keeps happening, when I'm not expecting it. It creeps up on me, and says it would be easier to be like that. To distance yourself and not feel all this. And then, this morning..."
He raises his hand to gesture at the meal they're making.
"My favorite. My dad cooked it for me. Which I only know because they sent me a video of it. I don't know whether it's real, but it feels like it. I showed it to Billy earlier like... like it was the most precious thing in the world."
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"It is easier," Seifer confirms, watching him closely. "But is it worth it? Being another cog for more wars. More shit like that?" Another soldier who would blindly follow orders, murder a family in front of their son to make a point. Because you were told to. Seifer knows all about doing what he's told.
Eyes drift back toward the pot he now had the rice setting aside in, the wok he'd prepared per the instructions ready to make the rest. "I'll do my best to make it right." This is important. A tiny bit of good to remind him not to close off and become that soldier again. "I don't like SeeD Nida so much. So, if you don't mind, send him back. I'd rather keep the one willing to be my brother." After all, how many people can he say have willingly allied with him like that?
He has a whole four from home now.
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Wait, what? Nida can't help it, he turns his attention to Seifer. Brother who would... No, that doesn't make any sense, right?
"Maybe you can call me if you see him coming out? Because I don't want to go back to being him. I don't want to be a SeeD anymore. I want to be Nida."
Still, there is a lot more to consider here, right? Should he consider it? Should he share...
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"I think you're looking pretty stable right now," He observes with a faint smirk. "Try not to disappear on me again, huh?" He's not big on SeeD Nida. Just like no one likes desperate, insane Knight Seifer. Or the moody asshole Seifer he was when he first showed up. Resentful Garden Cadet Seifer.
Should he share what?
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Disappear on him? Yeah, no guarantees, Seifer. But he limps toward Seifer and holds out his wrist. He's got to do something here, right?
"Wanna see them? My parents?"
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He will absolutely chase you down, Nida. Can't family him then go missing. The frown increases when he stands and moves over, opening his mouth to protest. You better sit Nida you'll hurt yourself-. Oh. He looks surprised, and a little touched. Really?
"Of course. I'd love to." It's nice that Nida got a good memory too.
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It's not long. A kid that is clearly Nida sitting at a kitchen table, kicking his feet as a woman that looks a lot like him chops onions and a man stands at the stove, preparing rice and talking over his shoulder to them both.
"My family."
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"You were cute when you were little," He teases. They look so happy, this sweet little family. "You definitely take after your mom." The similarities are unmistakable, even with such a small display. "You guys look happy."
It's nice. What a nice treasure. He's a little envious but honestly Nida deserves it. He needs some good to make the bad a little less awful. He's glad Nida got this.
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Which wasn't entirely fair to Rinoa, but he lets that lay aside. Today isn't the best day, but he'll make do with what he has. See, he's got something to keep going for.
"Between this and my brother who pokes his nose into my business, I should be okay. Should be a real person."
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Oops. He let that little tidbit slip without thinking. Just call him tired.
"Hey, what kind of brother would I be if I didn't? You go disappearin' into your head and forget we're out here, that's no good for you." He smirks, reaching over to clap Nida affectionately on the shoulder. "Now how about those onions?" Hah, of course he has to be a jerk about it.
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