🍂 autumn fades

[tooktheblack]

WHO: Jon Snow
WHERE: 6I village, at Lucrezia’s Home
WHEN: 26 October
OPEN TO: All
WARNINGS: tbd

---

Jon had made a habit of going to see Lucrezia daily when he went to visit his family and when he didn’t see her for two days running, his heart sank like a stone. It wasn’t like her to be out often; she usually kept close to her home or to the inn and to not see her at all for two days meant that surely she must have gone.

The evening of the second day confirmed his suspicions completely. Her cat mewled and yowled, wandering about the steps and of Lucrezia’s porch seemingly in search of his mistress. It took Jon a moment to actually get the cat to come close to him but once he coaxed it near, he gathered him up into his arms.

“Barnabus,” Jon said quietly. “I fear she’s gone and left us both. No amount of looking is going to bring her back to us, all right?”

When Ygritte had disappeared, Jon had searched for her in the woods for days and only when he’d exhausted every hollow and dale that he had declared her truly gone. When Arya had gone, he‘d done similar.

Now, though, he simply felt hollow and empty. He’d lost another person he had cared for in this place and there was no telling who might be next. Would it be his Lord Father? Would it be his sisters? His brother? Lyanna? Jon hoped not.

Armful of cat, he walked past the home his family lived in and down the road toward the inn. Possibly there was a bit of milk or something he might be able to give the cat so it would stop yowling for the time being.

Comments

awwwww jon D:

[learned_to_die]

Ned has been spending the cooler evenings out on the porch of the Stark family home, enjoying the brisker air that the apparent change of season has been bringing. Summer was alarmingly short for a man of Westeros, but he had been prepped for such changes by his children, all of whom made a point to explain that the seasonal alterations in the village did not mimic the patterns of home. He is cradling a mug with a tea made from boiled roots and leaves he'd found, trying to recall the education he'd received as a young lad from the Maesters and from Jon Arryn, and it turned out moderately pleasing. It isn't anything he'd shout from the rooftops about, but it satiates the need for something to warm his bones from the inside out.

He catches sight of Jon ambling by, a feline cradled gently in his arms. He lets him walk without interrupting him, at least at first, noting that Jon seems perturbed by something. Brows furrowed, he places the mug down on his seat and decides to call out after him once his feet hit the solid earth.

"What is it you've found?" he asks, voice louder than conversational volume but a far cry from bellowing.

[tooktheblack]

"Less found and more recovered," Jon said. He set Barnabus to his feet where the cat proceeded to wend and wind his way through Jon's legs; it made it difficult to walk and Jon had to pick his steps carefully as he crossed over to Ned.

"Lucrezia seems to have disappeared but she's left her cat behind. I feel I owe it to him to take him in, at least. He seems to like me."

[learned_to_die]

Ned watches the feline with some interest, helping to close some of the gap between he and Jon, seeing as he doesn't have a weaving creature at his feet with which to contend. He lets his gaze linger on the creature for a few moments after the explanation before finally lifting his gaze to meet Jon's. There is softness and sympathy in his expression.

"It is good that he has you to look after him, given the circumstances," Ned says softly. Although he's been doing a bit better in terms of speaking with some more emotional honesty than he had prior to arriving in the village, it's still a .. somewhat difficult concept. It isn't so easy to undo a lifetime of habit in such a short period of time. But he is trying, at least. "Were you fond of her, this Lucrezia? I don't believe I had the opportunity to meet her."

[tooktheblack]

"I was very fond of her," Jon agreed. He hesitated to admit his fondness because the only woman he'd ever loved, the only one he'd ever cared for had been Ygritte. She'd been here in the village and now she was gone and while she'd been a fire blazing the entire time he'd been with her, what he felt for Lucrezia felt like the beginning of a spark or two.

It seemed to have been smothered out before it ever had a chance.

"I wanted to be sure she was taken care of. She didn't have family here like we do."

[learned_to_die]

Ned nods knowingly, understanding the underlying affection Jon fails to explicitly mention. Although there would be no other who could capture his heart the way Catelyn had, despite their beginnings as nothing more than strangers, there had been one in the village who had stirred something in him in a way no one had since he'd last seen his wife. Those feelings have seemed to have subsided now, softly and gently reduced to embers with the insistence of friendship and companionship, especially in the name of honor.

He feels a pang of sympathy for Jon, though he makes no movement to try and show it outright.

"We are very fortunate to have so much of our family here," Ned reflects, earnest and somewhat cautious in his words. "I have not yet met another who had so many of their brood arrive as we have." Which, in truth, is both a blessing and a curse. He hates the thought of his children trapped here, slaves to the whims of the Observers, and yet, he cannot help but selfishly cherish the fact that he has been given the opportunity for a second chance with them. And, even more so, his sister, whom he's spent his life missing. "It is good of you to share what fortune we have with others; I am sure it was met with great appreciation. Where were you bringing her cat before I interrupted you?"

[tooktheblack]

"I was going to bring him home with me," Jon said. Barnabus, for his part, meowed loudly and continued winding around Jon's legs. It was amusing, in a way, and he supposed they were both a little lost and lonely. He owed it to Lucrezia to bring the cat home and give him a good life.

"I was hoping Lyanna wouldn't mind a pet. I'd leave him for Arya but I think you have enough people in your house - plus Sansa's dog."

[learned_to_die]

"Lyanna and Barnaby," Ned muses quietly, offering a contemplative glance down towards the animal. It sounded like one of the fantastical stories he'd make up for her when they were children. "I don't think she'd mind. She was always very good with creatures as a girl. She'd forged a close bond with her steed, and the animal trusted none other than she." He lifts his gaze towards Jon, a curious glint backlighting them.

"You are adjusting to having her here in the village? I pray that your relationship grows stronger each day."

[tooktheblack]

"I've come to care for her as fiercely as the rest of my family," Jon agreed. "I cannot call her Mother, since I will always, always think of you as my father, but I care about her. I've come to appreciate having her around and I'm glad to know her."

Jon let a smile touch his lips. "She's so like Arya."

[learned_to_die]

Although there is no other outward showing of his relief, there is a certain softness that overtakes Ned's features, particular around his eyes, at this news. This is, by far, the best outcome for which he could have hoped, given the circumstances. With a gentle shake of the head, Ned reaches out to place a sturdy but affectionate hand on Jon's shoulder.

"You needn't call her Mother, if that does not sit well with you. I have had few honors in my life so great as having had the chance to be called your father, Jon. I am grateful you wish you continue titling me so." He gives a gentle squeeze before allowing his hand to fall back to his side again. Jon's comment draws out a rumbling laugh from Ned's belly. "Yes, or perhaps it is the other way 'round. Now you understand why I am doomed to have both of them in my life simultaneously."

[iron_beneath_beauty]

She was seated outside the inn, working on her usual project of sharpening the arrows and repairing the bows that were in need of it. It was more comfortable to remain outside, reminding her of the chilled afternoons of Winterfell. It had been so long since she had seen snow or felt the cold air, she would likely remain outdoors longer than she should, if only to enjoy the afternoons a bit longer.

Jon earned a fond smile as he approached. "I wondered where you were." The cat gave her momentary pause, surprised to see him with such a small creature in his arms. "Did that come in a package for you today?"

[tooktheblack]

Jon shook his head. The cat had come to him in a less cheerful way, unfortunately, but he hoped Lyanna would welcome it into their house; he thought Lucrezia might like to know that he'd taken Barnabus in.

"No, one of my friends seems to have left him behind." It was soft, slightly wounded, and he set the cat down to its feet before crossing over toward Lyanna. Barnabus seemed of a mind to follow.

"I found him in her house today."

[iron_beneath_beauty]

She hadn't heard very much about this friend of his, but could guess what she meant to him. It went without comment, uncertain if it was her place to pry into such things, even if she was his mother.

She paused in her work, setting her bow aside as she reached out to pet Barnabas. "He needs a home then?" He was tiny, small enough that he could get lost if not properly cared for. "Is he a good mouser? We might need a mouser when the weather gets colder."

He was grieving, she could sense as much, as every loss hit the village hard. "Were you close to her?"

[tooktheblack]

"Aye, he's pretty good at that. I was thinking to bring him home with us if you didn't mind it."

It didn't seem that Lyanna did mind it, though, so Jon felt like it might be all right. At her question, though, he sobered a little bit. He had been close to Lucrezia though the feelings he had were complex and only beginning to bloom.

"I'd begun to be, yes. I don't...I don't think I'm meant to be with anyone. I lose people."

[iron_beneath_beauty]

"No, I don't mind. It gets quiet in the house at night. It would be a good idea to have an animal with us, a mouser or just a lazy cat." She could at least spend the pent up energy she had for nurturing on the animal without needing to trouble Jon. She reached and ran her fingers along the kitten's side, the yellow fur shifting to a gold under the sunlight. "He seems gentle. He should accept the change in housing pretty well."

She didn't know what to say to that at first, still uncertain with what Jon would accept from her and feeling angry at everyone and no one. The situation was becoming more difficult, not helped by the flares of jealousy she suffered. Seeing him like this now, it only reminded her how inadequate she was for the place of his mother.

Picking at her torn nail, she glanced at the scenery around them, pulling her thoughts together. "Not everyone is lucky enough to keep and be with the person they love. It might hurt to lose them, but it's better than never feeling anything at all." She paused before adding, "Even if she is gone now, she could come back and if she doesn't, you're not alone. You have a number of people who love you."

[tooktheblack]

"I know. I am loved by my family," Jon said. He didn't want Lyanna to think he didn't appreciate that, especially while they shared a home together and had a chance to get to know one another in a way the gods hadn't allowed back in Westeros.

"I simply...I am lonely, Lyanna. I've had a chance to love a woman and I've mourned her and buried her. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, you know? I want to know love again."

[iron_beneath_beauty]

"I know, I understand, Jon." She met his eyes, a similar pain reflected back at him. "I wish I could say when and how such a thing will come about for you, but I know it will. You were close to this woman. You are not incapable of experiencing affection again. It will happen."

She ran her thumb along the side of the bow, a splinter catching in her skin. She flinched, bringing it closer to her eyes for inspection. "You have a life to return to. Whether it is here or there, you will find someone to share your life with."

Tugging the splinter from her thumb, she blew gently on the tender skin. "You shouldn't shut yourself off, not as I have."

[tooktheblack]

"You don't think you can love anyone else?"

It was a sad thing, for someone so young. Lyanna was younger than him by a few years, closer to Arya's age than his own, and the idea that she might close herself off from being married to anyone ever again was a sad thing. She'd birthed a child for Rhaegar Targaryen, yes, but had she loved him with so much of her heart that there was no room for anyone else at all?

[king_in_the_north]

"Jon!"

Robb called out as he dashed down the front steps of the home he shared with his father and the girls. He'd just finished cleaning himself up after a day's work, and had been thinking about wandering over to Margaery's when he spotted the familiar dark head striding by.

"Gods, did that show up in one of those boxes?" he asked when he finally caught up, staring down at what was honestly one of the least Jon-like pets he could have imagined.

[tooktheblack]

“No, left behind,” Jon said, giving his brother something of a sheepish smile. He set Barnabus down to his feet and the cat promptly started to climb his legs, wanting back up in his arms for some inexplicable reason. Jon supposed he was lonely, having lost his mistress, and he relented and picked it back up.

“It’s Lucrezia’s cat and she seems to have...disappeared. I can’t find any sign that she’s been here today.”

[king_in_the_north]

Faltering, Robb stared a moment at Jon and then looked down to the cat with its incessant mewling. It was on the tip of his tongue to offer to search for Lucrezia, but they both of them had been through this before; It seemed unlikely Jon would have settle on such a terrible prospect if he'd not already exhausted most options.

"Jon, I'm sorry," he said now instead, his brow pinching as he looked back to his brother. He didn't know how far the relationship with Lucrezia had gone, but it had been obvious enough there had been some tender affection shared between the two.

"What will you do with the cat?"

[tooktheblack]

"I'll keep it," Jon said, looking down at the cat for a moment. It was a strange situation, him bringing a cat along home with him since he'd only ever had Ghost as a companion pet.

"Hopefully Lyanna doesn't mind having having a cat around the house. I'd like to keep him - I think Lucrezia would want that."

[king_in_the_north]

"We can take it if Lyanna has some sort of insensible hatred of cats," Robb replied, and tipped Jon a knowing look. "It would be an easier compromise than arguing with her, I expect, and I doubt the girls would mind."

He felt a bit bad for Jon, honestly, having to live with their aunt, although he supposed Jon's reticent nature probably made him an easier fit with a woman whose temper was precisely the opposite. At any rate, it was easier than having to live with her himself.

"It was good of you to give her a room," he added. "I think having her with us would have put Father in a difficult position."

[tooktheblack]

"You have a very crowded house," Jon said, giving Robb a knowing look. "Two girls, father and you? That's quite a full house for anyone, even a family like ours that wants to keep close."

He fell quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I want to get to know her. Strange as it is, she is my mother and I've got a chance here that I wouldn't ever have anywhere else. The gods have favored me to give me a chance to know her as a person and not just as a bit of history."

[king_in_the_north]

Robb had opened his mouth, but his ready retort stuck fast in his throat as he faltered. For a moment, he thought he must have misheard — Jon was so casual about it, and in Robb's experience, Jon's parentage had never been something he'd been casual about.

At length, Robb's brow pinched and his mouth worked, a dozen thoughts colliding in his head and none of them particularly helpful.

"...what?" he managed at last.

[tooktheblack]

"It's...it's a chance to know her," Jon said, faltering over the words now. He'd said it easily enough before because he'd had a chance to wrap his mind around it but now, questioned, he fell back onto old habits.

"I haven't ever had a mother. I've got one now, sort of, and I want to know her. I still can't think of her as my mother the way you might think of a mother - she's younger than me - but I want to at least know who she is."