Mark Watney (
markwatney) wrote in
sixthiterationlogs2018-09-06 06:54 pm
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Entry tags:
- !mingle,
- !ota,
- dc: clark kent,
- dc: john constantine,
- division: kira akiyama,
- dmc: kat,
- hunger games: finnick odair,
- izombie: liv moore,
- martian: mark watney,
- marvel: bucky barnes,
- marvel: claire temple,
- marvel: frank castle,
- marvel: jessica jones,
- marvel: kamala khan,
- marvel: karen page,
- marvel: logan howlett,
- marvel: peggy carter,
- marvel: peter parker,
- marvel: steve rogers,
- marvel: tony stark,
- mfmm: phryne fisher,
- oc: cael lupei,
- tlou: owen prichard,
- tota: asch fon fabre,
- tvd: elena gilbert,
- vtr: samantha moon
[MINGLE] Post-Bunker Support Group
WHO: Mark Watney
WHERE: Town Hall & Inn
WHEN: 6 September 2018, Evening
OPEN TO: ALL - MINGLE
WARNINGS: Warn on your threads, please. PTSD is probably a given.
NOTES: Support group mingle! If your character needs some support after the latest meta plot or just generally, send them on over to Town Hall. Also, feel free to do top levels having to do with signing up for a tube monitoring shift. Please let me know if you want a Mark thread, I have notifs off for the post.
WHERE: Town Hall & Inn
WHEN: 6 September 2018, Evening
OPEN TO: ALL - MINGLE
WARNINGS: Warn on your threads, please. PTSD is probably a given.
NOTES: Support group mingle! If your character needs some support after the latest meta plot or just generally, send them on over to Town Hall. Also, feel free to do top levels having to do with signing up for a tube monitoring shift. Please let me know if you want a Mark thread, I have notifs off for the post.
So, I have been down to what we all seem to be collectively calling the Bunker. It is... something, to say the least.
For some people it feels like hope and for others despair, and I can honestly see both sides of it. Some people need to feel like they have some control, even if it's illusory — Having a puzzle to possibly solve makes them feel less adrift. For others, it's too much reality, or the perception of, anyway. I can't say I'm personally convinced by any of it.
See, I've been here since the start of whatever this is, with a group that's almost entirely gone now. It's been five months since we were birthed into this expanded world, and I don't know if it's any more real than the last. That isn't me putting on a tin foil hat, that's just respecting the environment. Mars was the same way: You do what you need to do to eke out a life, to survive or even thrive, but it's dangerous to think you have any real control. Everything can go to shit in the blink of eye, and then you're tumbling around in an airlock while your entire food supply is turned to dust.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying people should stop hoping to get home, stop trying to figure it all out. I'm just saying we might all be a little easier mentally if we could express how scary it is to know, deep down, that the rug can be pulled out from under us at any moment... And then to accept that feeling that way is okay.
With that in mind, after a little meditating during my daily work in the fields, I put up two notices on the blackboard in the South Village inn:
That's one thing we can do, at least. Just the illusion of control, but still important to some people, and definitely helpful for anybody new.
Below that:
Town Hall - 7:00 PM
Everyone Welcome
I don't know how many people will actually show — We've got a surprisingly stubborn, resilient group, in my experience. But even if it helps just one person, it's worth doing.
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She's leaving that aside for now because this is help your friends time not try to save the world one life at a time as Ms. Marvel time. She's just going to chime in here because she totally missed his announcement despite arriving that day. "You said something at the crab party? What was it?" Context helps when you're supporting someone!! Also she's nosy.
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"I stood on a chair and told everyone about—" He pauses, course-corrects. "About why I think we're all here. It wasn't appreciated by the people just trying to eat crab and have a good time."
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"Glad I didn't get a shoe to the head, though," he adds, smile quirking.
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"Don't laugh, but being here really helped me get past all that bad stuff that happened in Reims. I guess I got comfortable because of it. I really didn't see any of this coming until it smacked me in the face with reality."
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"And I mean, this stuff is upsetting, but at least nobody got hurt, right? Not even Elena, like we all thought." He hesitates a moment and then reaches out to give Kamala's shoulder a squeeze. "But I think if our positions were reversed, what you'd tell me it's okay to be worried or scared, and it's good to be talking about it."
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"There are worse realities to live in. I just want to understand what's happening for my family's sake. If I'm not who I think I am, at least I can stop worrying about them. Whatever happens to me is just on me, you know? And my friends. Obviously I wouldn't want to die on you or anyone else. That'd be an awful thing to do to you guys. Answers would make stuff less complicated."
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"Maybe that makes me a crappy scientist, I don't know," he allows, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck as he peeks back over to Kamala. "I say I want answers, but I guess that comes with conditions."
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All of this runs through her head as she watches him with sympathetic eyes. "Peter..." She moves in to offer the briefest of hugs. She's not sure how he does with the whole hug thing, but she is a hugger. This is how she expresses herself!!! Kamala is quick to retake her seat to get into the rest of what he said. "It makes you a person. We both love our families so much. Of course the idea that they were just figments made up by some mad scientists is awful. I can't believe I'd ever make up people as amazing as my parents or even my weirdo older brother. I bet it's the same for your aunt and uncle." She hopes that's reassuring. She really wants to do right by him. Peter deserves a friend he can rely on. She doesn't have Ms. Marvel as an excuse to suck at being a good friend anymore.
She takes a breath and tries to explain her seemingly casual attitude. Yet again after to stare down monsters, knowing you might become one of them someday, makes the situation here so much more bearable than it should be. "When I think about the whole weird clone idea, I guess I just assume original Kamala is back with her family without any idea she has some clone daughter out there. Great for her, sucks for me, I guess? I'd still be happy to be alive even if that's the case." It'd still be God's will for her to be here, she thinks. God's never wrong. She'd totally have to bust out though and chalk that up to divine will of not wanting to be a clone experiment!!!
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"That makes sense," he allows, once his brain has pushed past the shock of the physical contact. "I think I would probably be worrying either way. Because even if there was some other me back home, all that stuff with Thanos and the stones is still happening. I don't even know if May is still there." He hitches up one skinny shoulder in a brief shrug. "I know I'm not. But maybe Mr. Stark is, and Cap. Maybe they're still back there trying to figure it out."
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She spares Peter the history lesson in favor of trying to figure out what he means by that. Yeah if something was going down before he left he had every right to worry. She leans forward as she tries to get to the bottom of it.
"What do you mean by not there? Do you think she ended up in a place like this?" She won't even suggest the other place lest she be a nervous wreck forever over the fate of a woman she never met.
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"Oh—" he begins, and slants a glance away, first to Sgt. Barnes, then to Mr. Stark, where it lingers. "I wasn't even thinking about you not knowing." Because Kamala is, somehow, one of the only people here not from his own timeline who manages to know nearly everything.
It's probably better to just come out with it; she'll find out anyway.
"He did it, Thanos," he says, looking back to her, then to his feet again, expression slightly pinched. "I don't know what you remember or don't— He wanted all the stones so he could get rid of half the universe. And we didn't stop him. I wasn't on Earth when it happened, so I don't know if May was one of the unlucky half or not. But I know for sure I was." He peeks back up at her.
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They did the unthinkable: they failed. Kamala somehow knows where this is going before Peter reaches the end. The confirmation still clearly hurts. She loved Nakia nearly all her life and Bruno for a decent chunk of it. Peter is a new friend, but she still cares about him so much. The thought that maybe the original is dead or this place is the only thing keeping him alive or-
All she keeps thinking is it can't be right. He's too young to be some tragic heroic sacrifice. That's for old heroes from space or something. He's supposed to graduate high school, drive cars, and cry about how they can't afford college like the rest of them. She tries to fight it, but in the end she really can't help herself. She starts crying right in the middle of the meeting.
"I'm sorry. I know you're here. I'd totally break a chair over the head of anyone who tried to kill you here so it's not like you'll die again, but it still sucks. I don't want you and half the universe to be dead because some weirdo from space has a complex or something!" She covers her face with her hands because it's embarrassing. He's literally right there! She sees at least one chair she can use if someone tried to murder him right now! What is she even crying about?? (The fact that he and all those people suffered and died at all. It breaks her heart.)
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So it surprises him a little that Kamala's reacting so fiercely, although it makes plenty of sense. And maybe it's not just about the simple fact of it for her, either; maybe it's more about being here, and hovering in that place between giving in and settling down, or wishing for something else. Or maybe it's about where she's been, or where she might end up, or something Peter can't begin to understand.
But the crying he really doesn't know how to handle.
"Oh, that's— No, please don't cry," he hastily replies, both hands held forward and uncertain, his expression pinched somewhere between soft concern and total horror over not knowing what to do. "It's not— I'm here," he reminds her, and finally lays a hand on her shoulder. "I mean, yeah, it sucks, but maybe there are people back home who are fixing it right now. That's what Mr. Stark thinks." Or theorized could be possible, at least.
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It's the easy answer. She'll always believe in heroes... until she doesn't. That's a heartbreaking story she may never get to. For now Kamala does her best to meet his eyes and level with him as best she can about why this hit her so hard. "I know you're here just like everyone else who died and came back, but I was always taught that death was painful even for the most righteous souls. I hate that people I care about suffer so much even knowing they came back. It still isn't right to go through all that once and know it'll have to happen again someday. You... all of you deserve better." Death still means something to her even if everyone around her may perceive it as cheap.
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"But thanks for caring," he remembers to add, and flicks a glance back up to her. "Seriously. I know that's a kind of weird thing to say, but I mean it. I don't want you to be sad, but it's nice to know you care. You're a really good person, Kamala."
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Her smile is soft as he meets her gaze. "You're my friend. I'm not always the best friend. I got distracted a lot back home. I might get distracted here too, but I do care, Peter. Don't forget that, okay? And thanks for being honest with me. I know it's not easy to talk about the stuff that hurt you." She's speaking from experience. There's a lot she's kept to herself over the past year. The few times she does open up it really does hurt. She appreciates his effort.