[who let the dogs out?]

[majorlyugh]

WHO: Major Lilywhite
WHERE: Major/Ravi's cabin, around the village
WHEN: Mid-October
OPEN TO: All, specific starter for Ravi
WARNINGS: PUPPIES.

---

Major had been lured outside by the sound of whimpering. Every ounce of softness and kindness he'd ever held in his body had been tingling like a small fire, spreading over the expanse of his body from head to toe at the sound. When he had opened the door, two boxes were sitting side-by-side on the porch - one about half the size of the other and, to his surprise, moving around like one of those fake ferret toys for cats, the kind that's glued to a mechanical ball that moves around.

Only a little less erratic.

He took the stationary box in first, setting it off to the side of the living room, before returning to get the one that had now seemed to calm down a little bit. As he lifted it, there was a quiet yelp from the inside, and Major knew in an instant what the mystery box's contents were, without having to remove the lid.

He sets the box down in the middle of the living room, carefully lifting up the cover to reveal the small, Basset Hound puppy gazing up at him inside. At the sight of his face, it lets out another yelp, this one happier but still pleading, and tries to stand on its hind legs to see outside the open top of the box. It doesn't quite have the hang of what it means to be coordinated yet, and so it tumbles backwards, causing a very loud "AWW!!" to come rushing out of Major's mouth.

He reaches inside, carefully scooping the puppy up in his arms. Once near enough, it begins to lick his face and squirm around in his grip. As Major's trying to check the box for any other dog-related items, the puppy manages to wiggle its way out of his arms and, before he can manage to do anything to stop it, runs straight out of the door that Major's foolishly left open by mistake.

He opens his mouth to shout a name, but realizes he doesn't have one at the ready, so he shouts the only thing he can think of:

"HEY! ... HEY YOU! COME BACK!" as he scrambles to his feet and out the door, chasing after the bounding, long-eared puppy.

Comments

[zomboligist]

"But, then would people think I was dying from some unnamed vague plague?" he suggests, because he thinks that might be in the mix and something to be wary about, especially seeing as he can't imagine that it would be a very good idea for him to be going around being called Tiny Tim without at least an explanation.

"It's for the dog!" Ravi protests. "Also, we're not going to end up eating yours, so I feel like there's a wide enough gap of distinction for me to be able to talk about them. Besides, if you'd seen some of the crime scenes I have, you wouldn't really be squeamish about them when they're dead, either."

[majorlyugh]

"Possibly, and it isn't as funny if I have to explain it. They might just think you're lame and small and irritatingly optimistic," Major thinks aloud, entertained by the thought of Ravi in tattered period clothing, using that one T-shaped crutch under his arm. Then he thinks about the Christmas goose that Scrooge brings, and even though he's literally never thought of geese as anything but a pest, he feels his stomach growl despite himself.

At least he can eat human food here, without the need for six+ chili pepper-ranked hot sauce.

"Yeah, 'for the dog,' sure," Major teases with a roll of his eyes. "And I'd also really enjoy keeping my balls exactly where they are, thanks. But my point still stands! You talk about genitalia an awful lot for a guy who faints at the thought of Deez Nuts."

[zomboligist]

"I'm never optimistic, what is this, opposite world?" he scoffs with disbelief, seeing as Ravi is pleasantly realistic about everything, which is why he's so charming and great. Everyone needs someone to balance in the middle of things and offer their opinions while also being close to right.

"Again, I reiterate, it's really only yours I don't need to see anything of," he points out helpfully. "There's a big gaping blind spot I'd like to keep in place there. It's very handy for my sanity."

[majorlyugh]

"Right, that's my point. No one's gonna get the reference, although, maybe they WOULD get that it's a joke because you're so ..." Major gestures vaguely at Ravi's face with his hand, palm facing Ravi. ".. You know." A pause as he searches for the word. "You." Yeah, that's good. Good enough, anyway.

"You mean that if I were seriously injured in the groin area, which hopefully never happens, but if I was, you wouldn't help take care of me? What if I needed a bandage change every four hours? What if the fate of my ever having children in the future rested in your hands and how well you took care of me and my balls?"

[zomboligist]

Ravi sighs and decides that maybe he'll have to concede to having some nightmares if Major were in dire trouble. "If I was the last surgeon in the world, you'd probably let me, but keep in mind that live subjects aren't really my thing," he feels honour bound to remind him. "I'd probably harm you and you wouldn't get to have children just by virtue of my inexperience," he confesses pointedly.

"But yes, I would put aside my reservations and fears and help you," he guarantees, as any best friend would.

[majorlyugh]

"I mean, you were still trained as a doctor, and aside from the fact that one is alive and one isn't, I can't imagine the anatomy of a dead body versus a live body is all that different, Doc," Major retorts, making a bit of a face. Even though they're (mostly) joking, it does .. kind of offer Major some kind of relief, to know that Ravi would still have his back, should the situation arise. He, of course, hopes with every ounce of blood in his body that it doesn't, but still, it's nice to know. "I'd offer to carry you out of a burning building if that kind of emergency comes about, too. Full Bodyguard style. I would expect your appreciation to be shown by you singing, "And I Will Always Love You" to the best of your ability."

[zomboligist]

"How about we focus on the dog and not awful movie scenarios that I don't want to think too long about," Ravi suggests with a hopeful look on his face, seeing as he's not sure that he wants to imagine him in Major's arms, though he has zero doubts that it could happen. Major always does talk a little too much about how much he can lift.

Not that Ravi is jealous...much.

"Trust me, I went from cadavers to diseases and back, it was a very circuitous route," he says, reaching out for Minor because it's been too long since he's been allowed to cuddle the dog.

[majorlyugh]

"I'm sorry, did you just call The Bodyguard awful? Seriously? Have you ever seen it?" Major asks, scrunching up his face in slight disgust and offense. In all honesty, Major's seen maybe 95% of it, having missed the very beginning because whenever it came on TV, he always came in 20 minutes after it'd started airing. And then it never seemed worth it to pay the money at Blockbuster to rent (not to mention the street cred of having to publicly rent the thing), so he'd just .. gone without seeing it in its entirety. Still, though!

With a sigh, he hands the puppy back to Ravi and folds his arms across his chest.

"Why'd they kick you out of the CDC again?"

[zomboligist]

"The Bodyguard isn't awful, you attempting to carry my lanky frame is," Ravi clarifies, because he feels like he needs to make sure that it's known that he has absolutely nothing against the movie. Taking the dog into his arms, a smug look crosses his face. "They thought I was mad for insisting that a viral strain was going to potentially decimate the earth and thought my plans and ideas were too out there."

"Now who's laughing, with a zombie threat looming? I mean, no one. Maybe Blaine, some idiots, but still, I was right," he insists, scratching Minor's ears. "Yes, I was," he tells the dog, "I was very right."

[majorlyugh]

"Attempting? Dude, are you joking? I could bench you without breaking a sweat," Major replies with a bit of a scoff. "It's mostly your height that complicates it, not your weight." He glances up at the top of Ravi's head, using his flattened hand as a make-shift, whimsical measuring device - bringing it from the top of his head to Ravi's. They aren't all that different in terms of height. "You're, what? Two inches taller than me? Maybe three? I could definitely bench you."

He crosses his arms across his chest, nodding as though he's trying to placate his friend.

"Yeah, yeah, you were right. But I mean, you know how crazy it sounds, right? It still sounds crazy to me, and I lived through it." A beat. "I was one, and it still sounds bizarre. Like we're straight out of The Walking Dead, but like, the Hipster Version because we're in Seattle."

[zomboligist]

It's an embarrassing thing to admit, but Major is right and he could probably bench-press Ravi with the sort of ease that he doesn't plan to think about too intensely, because then he'll just start to feel woefully inadequate about being able to do the same. "I'm six foot four, but the hair makes it six-five," he boasts, fluffing up his hair a little because he needs to make sure everyone understands how attractive his hair is.

This is very important to him.

"I never meant that it was going to be an actual zombie plague," he clarifies. "I thought maybe it would be a super-flu or some other mutated virus that would spread and I thought it was safe to put plans into place. The CDC assumed I was paranoid."

[majorlyugh]

"All right, yeah. So I'm 6'2". We're not that different in height." Major lifts his gaze higher to consider Ravi's hair. "Your hair is magnificent and is the crown jewel of the world and the village, and we are all deeply jealous. Even if I mess around and pull pranks on Princess Sparkles, I won't ever mess with your hair. If that's any kinda consolation."

He squints a little at his friend.

"I mean, aren't you, though? Just a little?"

[zomboligist]

"My constant state of paranoia shouldn't be mocked," he protests, because he wants to insist that it's not paranoia when it actually happens, but then he would just sound like one of those awful nutters who basically is paranoid and crazy and Major would be absolutely right.

Scowling, he touches his hair. "Also, don't do anything to it," he says. "Whether picking me up or not, some things should be sacred."

[majorlyugh]

"That wasn't mocking. You'd know if I was mocking you. Like, there'd be no doubt of my mocking you." Major pauses a second before letting out a groan and shaking his head, like he's disappointed in something. "I was trying to make some kinda joke using "To Kill a Mockingbird" in there, but I got nothing. My brainpower's spent on the fact that we have a son now." He offers an affectionate glance to said "son."

"That's what you're going with as what's supposed to be sacred? Your hair? Not like, your face or your sweater vests? Hair grows back, but sweater vests don't. Not here, at least."

[zomboligist]

"I only have three sweatervests, they're fairly sacred, but when I get down to one, that's when it will become absolute," Ravi warns, because he feels like he should set expectations here. "Also, hair does not grow back nearly quickly enough for me and I look embarrassingly fresh-faced if you shave off my beard," he protests.

"When the hair goes, I just look like I should be playing a stereotypical priest or terrorist," he says, without much humour. "So, neither," he finishes pointedly. "Or I'll hold our new dog-baby captive with sole custody. I'm sure the invisible courts will be happy to rule in my favour."

[majorlyugh]

"I'm surprised the Powers That Be or whatever managed to get you that many. Though maybe I shouldn't be all that surprised if they're like, all powerful or whatever, like the Genie from Aladdin," Major thinks aloud. "What was his saying? Infinite, cosmic power ... itty, bitty living space? Right? Something like that. I wonder if the Watchers or whatever we're calling them live in tiny lamps." Okay, Major, you're getting very side-tracked. Focus. Or try to, at least.

"You know the more you talk about what you look like without a beard, the more I really want to see you without a beard, right? Like, I bet you look like a baby without your facial hair. God, we need to stop talking about it if you don't want to randomly wake up one day to a freshly shaven face. And you needing to walk around with Minor as a stand-in beard 'til it grows back."

[zomboligist]

"Maybe I wished really hard, it's why I got three of them," he suggests, even though he thinks that he was probably just given them so that he'd keep his guard down, bribed by their omniscient watchers who clearly know how to manipulate them. Case in point, the dog that they have suddenly, which he should know is just a ploy to keep them occupied.

Yet, he's falling for it hook, line, and sinker. "How about one day, when it's warm outside and I hate my life, I shave it down to stubble." Not gone, but stubble. That, he thinks he can do, especially if the next summer is as hot as the last.