[who let the dogs out?]

[majorlyugh]

WHO: Major Lilywhite
WHERE: Major/Ravi's cabin, around the village
WHEN: Mid-October
OPEN TO: All, specific starter for Ravi
WARNINGS: PUPPIES.

---

Major had been lured outside by the sound of whimpering. Every ounce of softness and kindness he'd ever held in his body had been tingling like a small fire, spreading over the expanse of his body from head to toe at the sound. When he had opened the door, two boxes were sitting side-by-side on the porch - one about half the size of the other and, to his surprise, moving around like one of those fake ferret toys for cats, the kind that's glued to a mechanical ball that moves around.

Only a little less erratic.

He took the stationary box in first, setting it off to the side of the living room, before returning to get the one that had now seemed to calm down a little bit. As he lifted it, there was a quiet yelp from the inside, and Major knew in an instant what the mystery box's contents were, without having to remove the lid.

He sets the box down in the middle of the living room, carefully lifting up the cover to reveal the small, Basset Hound puppy gazing up at him inside. At the sight of his face, it lets out another yelp, this one happier but still pleading, and tries to stand on its hind legs to see outside the open top of the box. It doesn't quite have the hang of what it means to be coordinated yet, and so it tumbles backwards, causing a very loud "AWW!!" to come rushing out of Major's mouth.

He reaches inside, carefully scooping the puppy up in his arms. Once near enough, it begins to lick his face and squirm around in his grip. As Major's trying to check the box for any other dog-related items, the puppy manages to wiggle its way out of his arms and, before he can manage to do anything to stop it, runs straight out of the door that Major's foolishly left open by mistake.

He opens his mouth to shout a name, but realizes he doesn't have one at the ready, so he shouts the only thing he can think of:

"HEY! ... HEY YOU! COME BACK!" as he scrambles to his feet and out the door, chasing after the bounding, long-eared puppy.

Comments

[majorlyugh]

"Oooh," Major says with a wince at the sight of the puppy frenching. "Good thing he hasn't had a chance to get into anything super gross this morning. Pretty sure Mythbusters also did an episode showing that a dog's mouth is significantly cleaner than a human's mouth at any given point in time, so you've got that going for you, at least." He can't help but chuckle a little at the scene, though.

"Hey! I didn't name him! Ravi did. He thought he was being Super Hilarious pulling that joke. Admittedly, I didn't even get why he called the dog Minor until much later. Huh. I wonder if I shouldn't admit that. Is that embarrassing?" He shakes his head as if to say it doesn't matter; he's already got his foot in his mouth as it is.

The puppy flopping down on its back makes Major have to bite his lower lip to keep himself from whimpering from the cuteness, and he clears his throat to steady himself before following Natasha's lead, only at the backs of Minor's ears instead of his belly.

[unmakeme]

"So you're saying i'm lucky I got my thank you kiss from the dog and not you. Because your mouth is filthy." Natasha nods her head once. "Noted." She is absolutely giving this man shit, but in her defense, it is incredibly easy to give him shit.

Minor seems utterly thrilled that he's got two humans using four total hands to lavish attention on him. He's a cute little thing, even if Natasha is pretty cure he's going to be trouble for his owner. "It's kind of embarrassing, yeah, but only because you're going around telling people." Again, just so easy. Minor snuffles happily, sneezing at nothing, as puppies do, and trying to lick the both of them at once. Which, of course, does not work. It's an unbelievably adorable failure, though.

A master assassin, with leaves in her hair, sitting on the ground with a random guy, petting a puppy. At least Clint isn't around. Her shame is relatively secret, and the only one to see it is a guy who, she can already tell, is even more ridiculous than she could ever hope to be. Not a bad thing, necessarily. Civilians have that luxury.

[majorlyugh]

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying, though you didn't have to be quite so mean about it," Major says, putting on a playful frown for good measure. "Besides, I'm pretty sure that if, given the choice, almost everyone would choose Minor over me as it is, and it's just a fact of life that I'm learning to accept. It's cool. It's not like I've got a damaged ego to contend with or anything. No big deal."

God, this dog is going to kill him. Major's never going to be able to yell at him or reprimand him or be anything but a big puddle of goo around him. It's terrible.

But it's a wonderful problem to have, in the grand scheme.

"Yeah, I do that. I should just learn to keep my mouth shut, probably, but where's the fun in that?"

[unmakeme]

"Hey, there's not much in this place that's fun. If it makes you happy, you should do it. Still not sure why telling everyone that you're slow makes you happy..." She's smiling, because the effort required to put on a blank face is currently not worth the benefit. Who's Major going to tell? Who would believe him?

Minor really is a cute little thing, yipping and snuffling contentedly and licking at their hands while he squirms around. Natasha is ready to grab him if he tries to make another break for it, but so far he's showing absolutely no indication of wanting to run again. Puppy's attention span. Whatever made him desperately desire freedom has currently been forgotten in favour of love and attention. "He's going to need a harness. He's too little and energetic to be walked on a collar. You'll hurt him. Do you have any paracord?"

[majorlyugh]

"The element of surprise? Make everyone think that I'm a fumbling idiot and then, BAM! come out with something super crazy smart when they least expect it. The long con!" Major has no idea what he's talking about now, mind running only at half capacity in terms of attention span thanks to Minor sucking up all of his proverbial bandwidth. He can't help it. He's so soft and furry and wrinkly and uncoordinated.

"Any what now?" he asks, looking up at Natasha. "I get that you're like, a living video game character, and you might as well be running around breaking pottery for hearts and rupees and all, but I'm a jock. A socially conscious, heart-of-gold jock. What's paracord?"

[unmakeme]

"Short for parachute cord. Nylon rope with a little bit of stretch in it." She holds up one hand briefly, showing him a bulky and not all that attractive bracelet that's made of about twenty feet the stuff and a wooden ring and toggle that are keeping it on her wrist. This is function, not fashion. "This is paracord. You looked like you might be an outdoorsman. Camper or hiker. Sorry for assuming that something crazy smart was coming." At this point it seems entirely possible that Natasha will be giving Major shit for the entirety of the time she knows him. Still, that smile hasn't gone anywhere. She's not trying to be mean.

Minor objects to the twenty five percent reduction in petting, and she goes back to it. "It's grown beyond the official use, which is of course in parachutes. I was thinking that, because of the give, it might do for a temporary harness. The nice part is that it can then be taken apart, adjusted, rewoven as he grows. Means there's no wasted resources. If you don't have any, we can use this." She probably wouldn't be offering if not for the fact that she has more at home, but he doesn't have to know that. At the moment, it's not a strain to use some on a dog. If it ever becomes a strain, well, she'll deal with the ill will of having to take it back when it comes up.

[majorlyugh]

"Parachute cord," Major repeats, brows furrowed. It sounds vaguely familiar - like he might've heard some of the other mercenaries at Fillmore Graves talk about it at some point, but he'd only just started his training when he came through the fountain. He hadn't had a chance to actually get to know any of the recruits or their lingo. He glances at her wrist, then snaps as he points towards it. "Oh, right, that stuff. I totes saw that in an LL Bean catalogue once, I think. Or maybe it was Eddie Bauer. Anyway, point being is that I've seen it and heard of it, and have seen many a survivalist talk about how it's a necessary item in case of the apocalypse, but I don't have any myself, no." He makes a good show of pouting at her insult, even though he isn't offended at all. "I'll have you know that I got these amazingly strong muscles from years of playing football, as well as spending far too much time at my local gym. The football probably also explains why I'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes." He taps his temple with his finger.

Her offer gets a brow lift and a flicking glance back and forth between her face, Minor, and the bracelet.

"Wait, really?" he asks, finally settling his gaze on her for longer than a second. "It's cause of him, isn't it?" He points towards the puppy who's being so god damned cute that Major was definitely experiencing a random bout of cute aggression. "You know that having me as an owner sets him up for failure, so whatever you can do to help give him the best fighting chance .. Is that it?"

[unmakeme]

"LL Bean. Yes. Totes." Natasha gives their surroundings a subtle once over, looking for any sign of Clint snickering quietly to himself in a tree. If Major is a prank, he's a good one. If he's not, then he's the most aggressively normal seeming person she's met in a long time. So far, he's like the cover an inexperienced agent would concoct if asked to create a totally average Nice guy civilian. Right down to the sheepishly self deprecating jokes.

She raises the bracelet to her mouth, using her teeth and tongue to quickly slip the toggle out of the ring so that she doesn't have to stop petting Minor entirely. "It's because we're a small group of people here working against pretty harsh odds to survive. If we don't help each other, we're fucked. Yes, we're talking about a puppy harness and not basic food and shelter, but the principle is the same. We help each other, because everyone is more likely to fail on their own. It's a sliding scale, but... everyone could use better odds, right?" She waits a beat, then begins unraveling the bracelet, tucking the toggle into her shirt pocket. "And yes, I'm pretty sure this little guy doesn't stand a chance if you don't get some help. I could see you wasting an entire set of sheets trying to make something usable. That doesn't do anyone any good. You're still going to give up your shoelaces for a temporary leash, though. He is your dog."

[majorlyugh]

"HA! That works on two levels, I just realized! Totes like totally and totes like .. a tote! Which LL Bean sells! Good one, Major," he jokes, going so far as to high five himself just out of pure amusement. Look, it's been a really long time since he's been able to go braindead thanks to video games, and he's a little starved for entertainment. Give the guy a break, okay?

"Uh, what're you --" he starts, seeing her start to chomp down on her bracelet. He almost thinks to suggest going to the Inn to get some food for her until everything clicks, and he gets what she's doing. "Yeah, yeah, you've got a point. I mean, I'm a liberal ex-social worker from Seattle, so I'm all about helping each other to the best of our abilities because it ensures our greatest chance of survival. I just .. uh, didn't think I was gonna have to be living that out like this. In a strange village, floating in some altered plane of existence." He opens his mouth to protest her suggestion that he isn't smart enough to fashion some kind of harness, but she isn't exactly wrong, either. "Yeah, okay. Shoelaces," he says with a slight pout, stopping to pet the puppy to go about undoing his boot's laces.