sixthiterationlogs | 11 - Lost Heart [OPEN]

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11 - Lost Heart [OPEN]

WHO: Moana
WHERE: 7I – Ocean
WHEN: August 3rd
OPEN TO: EVERYONE
WARNINGS: None

Sad Thoughts & Losses

Small earthquakes had begun to tremble through the two villages but Moana didn't pay them any attention. She crossed the breach and made her way towards the ocean that rested on the other side, hoping to find a friend waiting for her.

She stood at the shore, her feet bare while the wind tugged softly at her grass skirts. There was so much that Moana wanted to ask the ocean but she couldn't find her voice. She knew that it wouldn't reply to her, she was too far from the home that she knew. Frustration rose in her chest and she kicked at the water, sending thick droplets into the air around her.

"Why aren't you here!?" She yelled at the water before falling to her hands and knees. Everything hit her at once: the loss of her friends, the loss of the heart and the constant reminder of her failure that hung like a beacon around her neck. Moana began to cry softly, her body shaking as the tears streamed freely down her cheeks.

"I need you." She whispered to the ocean, her voice soft as she begged for some way to escape the crushing defeat that weighed heavily on her shoulders.

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Moana tried so hard to be strong. Not just for herself but for her family, her people, those in the village and those who've lost people they loved. If she could be strong then she could find a way to help them all but she couldn't keep it up forever. She couldn't continue to ignore the doubt that had gathered like a knot in the pit of her stomach.

She hadn't thought that anyone would come out this far but the ocean was here and she had to see it for herself. It didn't give her any answers and it only made the sadness in her chest feel more real.

Her fingers and toes curled in the sand, feeling the grans shift and clump beneath her. The water rolled up smoothing over the sand and then returned to the ocean as the tide slowly began to rise. Moana pushed herself onto her heels, using the back of her hand to brush away her tears. "Me too." Her voice was weak and broken but there was soft laughter behind it. Moana was also a bit violent, though she usually directed those feelings towards the sand using sticks.

Moana wanted to say more but the words somehow dissolved on her tongue. She really thought that the ocean would answer her.

Amy's personally of the mind that she'd like a dalek or a cyberman or something evil to kick or punch or generally be cruel to, but she'll settle for rocks into the water and glowering at the horizon like it's personally done her wrong. She feels bad, not just for taking up so much of Moana's time and energy lately, but for whatever's making her upset.

She thinks back to that talk they had, when Rory had first vanished, and approaches cautiously, not wanting to screw this up. "Are you missing your family? You said you lost your grandmother, right?"

The only monsters that Moana has faced have all gotten very close to eating her. She probably wouldn't want to go up against one of them just because she wanted something to vent her anger at. It might not end well given their strength versus her own.

Moana's head turned at Amy's question. "No. I mean." She closed her eyes and reorganized her thoughts before speaking again. "I do miss them but that isn’t why I was yelling at the ocean." She wasn't going to mention the crying part. "Do you remember the story I told you about when we first met. About the Heart of Te Fiti?"

Her fingers run along the shell necklace around her throat, pulling a green stone into her palm. "Well I found it and with Maui's help we were going to return it but somehow… somehow it found me here." Which meant that she couldn't return it and her island was going to die.

Amy has to struggle to pull through the haze in her mind to remember this particular talk, because the truth is that she's not entirely great about remembering this when she'd been filled with grief. She thinks she remembers it, though, squinting at it and trying to figure out why it's showed up here.

"What does it mean that it's here?" Amy asks, trying not to sound too wary, but if she remembers right, there had been some danger attached to it, which is forcing her to keep her distance.

Moana wouldn’t have blamed Amy if she didn’t remember the conversation. It had been back when they first met, before they really knew each other. Moana had been frantic about returning home at the time. Now, she wasn’t sure if it really mattered.

"I don’t know." It was hard for her to admit but she felt so lost and confused.

"The light… has gone out. I don’t know what it means." Her fingers curled a little tighter around her necklace and her head bowed against it as if she was going to curl into herself. Moana knew that she should be strong but it was so hard…

Amy leans over to look at it, not entirely sure that she should be the one to be mucking around with it, but Amy hasn't exactly ever listened to sense, which is why she reaches out after pointing to it. "Can I see?" she asks, intending to take it into her fingers and mess around with it a bit.

Maybe it's like a switch that only works in a certain place, but Amy feels curious to start prodding and poking.

Moana didn't speak but she opened her palm a little wider. She knew that Amy wouldn't do anything to the Heart and at this point, Moana knew that she couldn't bring the hearts glow back to it. Now it was just an ordinary stone but as Amy lifted it Moana felt it's weight pull off her palm as if it would have crushed her had she held it a moment longer.

"It began to go out a few weeks ago." She confessed in a soft voice. "I thought I could find out why or bring it back but… I couldn't."

The heart was dormant or dead. Moana didn't know for sure.

Amy moves forward to settle in right beside Moana so she hasn't gone far at all and the other woman can see exactly what she's doing the whole time. It just looks like a rock, sure, but then, she's seen other world-ending, important stuff that always looked like nothing at all. Still, she's finding it a bit hard to believe this does something incredible when it's just sort of sitting there in her palm.

"Okay, not to insult you or anything," she says, which usually comes right before she does exactly that, "but why would you want to bring it back? Didn't you say it caused trouble?"

"Because the Heart of Te Fiti is what brought life to the islands around it. Without it..." Her voice trailed off and Moana looked down at her hands as she continued. "Darkness will consume the world. One by one the islands will fall. That darkness came to my island. It poisoned the land and food. If I don’t stop it…." She couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought.

Moana closed her eyes. "They say since the heart was stolen that monsters rose from the sea and everyone sought the heart to have the power of creation for their own." Her voice trailed off.

"The ocean chose me to return the heart. To bring peace to the islands."

"So, what, you think that if it gets all glowy green again, you'll bring peace to here?" She has a bad feeling that it might not work out so well, but the part she's sort of bumping on is the middle. "I mean, also, if it starts glowing again, what's to stop those monsters from coming here?" It wouldn't be the first time she's low on resources and needs to battle against them, but she'd always had Rory and the Doctor before.

Well, sometimes, not counting alternate futures that never really happened. "Maybe if it's gone dark, there's no more poisoning? Maybe it's just sort of a trinket now?"

Moana shook her head. "I need to take it home. I don't think it can do anything here." She reached forward and plucked the stone from Amy's palm, stashing it back within the safety of her necklace. "The heart of Te Fiti is... it's her heart. Without it she can't be the mother island... if the heart is out then... she's..."

She bit her lower lip to stop herself from becoming frantic.

"Without the stone... there is nothing to stop the darkness that consumes my island." The heart had to be returned so that life could return with it.

Amy vaguely remembers that it's the heart of an actual person, but the thing is that she's not exactly sure that there's someone here missing a heart? Or, it's not exactly the kind of thing that you can ask about so easily, though knocking on doors and asking if there's a woman without a heart could be better than just moping, at least.

"So, if it's here," she says, putting the pieces together enough that she's starting to get an idea about why Moana is so upset to see it. "What about putting it in the water? Maybe the ocean or the current will just sort of take it back? Or someone else could find it and get it back?"

Moana looked back at the water. "Because I don’t know if this ocean is my ocean. It’s true that I found it in the water." Though it had been before the breach opened and she had found it at the base of the waterfall. She had taken the time to search in that area since but there was nothing there.

"The ocean is a friend of mine… but this… this just feels like water." As if in reply to her, the tide rolled up the beach washing over Moana’s feet. "It feels like it’s missing something." She wasn’t sure if she wanted to let the heart go back and be lost to the sea.

Amy's not sure how it really matters if the ocean is different. "So, wait," she deadpans, "Are you saying that only one ocean likes you? Does that mean the other ocean is a bastard that has problems with you or something? Because, I mean, I can't fight a whole ocean, but I can throw some really smelly, awful things in there to sort of even the balance and make it think twice about being so disrespectful," she insists.

She ought to think Moana's mad for talking like this, but then, Amy had been called mad so many times that she's sensitive about stuff like that. "How did it feel before?" she prods, instead. "When it was a friend?"

Moana lifted her shoulders in a short shrug. "I don't know. It hasn't been responding to me…" Which hadn't been a problem before now. Moana knew that the river and hot springs wouldn't respond to her but this was the ocean. It should be able to say something…

"I don't know about feel but the ocean would talk to me." It was a lot of frantic gestures and nodding more than actually speaking. "I kicked it once… but missed." The memory brought a brief smile to Moana's lips. "I told the ocean that fish peed in it." At the time, it had made her feel better about being caught in the storm.

"I mean, you're not wrong," Amy feels compelled to point out, but she's not exactly Miss One-With-Nature. Mostly, nature is the thing that she encounters and interacts with when necessary, but not usually out of her own free will. Though, there's been exceptions. The gardens in Apalapachia, for one. The sunflowers in France with Vincent. Her heart aches for those experiences and times, but for once, it's not aching for Rory.

It's almost progress. "Is it a bad thing if the ocean stopped talking to you? I mean, it's not exactly normal, is it?"

"I guess it isn't." The ocean didn't talk to anyone else. "It was always quite around the others in the village. Except for me and my grandmother." Later Maui but that was mostly to keep the demi-god from refusing to help.

Moana exhaled a soft breath. "There's so much I don't know." But she knew that she wasn't going anywhere by sitting here and feeling sorry for herself.

"That's not unique," Amy says, trying to soften the words, but she feels like she needs to say it. "I've seen galaxies, the past, the future, dinosaurs on a spaceship and aliens on earth and beyond, and I still barely understand any of it," she admits, which is saying nothing about the headache of a knot that her relationship with her daughter is.

"If the ocean is special and talks to you, then it talks to you," she says, maybe a bit stubborn, but she's still lashing out after years of being told the Raggedy Doctor hadn't been real. "Maybe it's just cross? Did you piss it off?" she quips wryly.

Moana released a short huffy breath that in any other situation might have been laughter. "If it was, it would have told me. The ocean is…" It was very sassy and wasn't afraid to tell Moana when it was displeased with her.

"I just..." She was scared that the ocean had given up on her. "I'll keep going." She declared in a soft voice. "Even if the ocean doesn't respond. I won't give up. The ocean choose me…" She paused again. "I have to believe that there is a reason why." That it wouldn't come to regret choosing Moana instead of someone more capable.

"There probably is," Amy agrees, because in all of time and space, she knows that there's always reasons why. It's one of the old reliable things that she clings to, because there has to be a reason why she's here, why Rory's gone, why they can't see the Doctor ever again. Even if she doesn't understand it, she has to believe in the why.

"Come on," she encourages. "I hate walking back alone, even if I like being here alone. Come keep me company," Amy coaxes, which is more of a demand than anything else.

Moana hesitated before pushing herself to her feet. "Yeah." She brushed the sand off her skirt and legs before turning back towards Amy. There was a light expression pulling across her features though it wasn't quite a smile.

"Thank you Amy."

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11 - Lost Heart [OPEN]

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