sixthiterationlogs | See, everywhere I go I got a million different people tryna' kick it

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See, everywhere I go I got a million different people tryna' kick it

WHO: Ashley Magnus
WHERE: Around the village
WHEN: During the first part of March, post Take Two
OPEN TO: OTA, with individual threads for Desmond and Lucy
WARNINGS: Talk of dying and killing likely

Vagabond - South village, moving

For the second time in five months, Ashley found herself moving. Things aren't nearly as bad with Druitt as how she'd felt upon arriving, but she's happier having distance and space from the central hub as well.

Gathering all of her things, mostly clothes (not all her own) and little else, she heads for Vanille and Phryne's place to start getting settled in there. Before leaving though, she pauses at the house where she had lived with Ty for such a short time and digs a small folding knife out of her pocket. Maybe it's vandalism, but laws are always a gray area for Ashley as she works to carve Ty's name on the railing of the porch. Maybe it's childish and pathetic, but he's one of the dearest friends she's ever had, and she doesn't want him forgotten.

Gathering up her things, she heads for the other house. It's not a far move, but it feels like such a change of life for Ashley yet again. It's more times in five months than she's ever moved in her life, and she's still trying to adjust to it all. And maybe in semi-healthy ways as well.

Readjustment - South village throughout the first 2 weeks of March

After the knowledge of her death, of what her life becomes, Ashley kind of let herself wallow in her own depression. She is a Magnus though, and wallowing is not in her blood. Not truly. Not in the way she was raised.

So despite the cold, she starts getting up every morning and going for a run. Hard and fast, sweating out the anger and the pain and the frustration she is feeling without a repeat of her first time dealing with this build up of emotion. It had taken her weeks to heal from the beating she had put on Druitt, and he had returned, and she would like to avoid that if she can. It's hard though, and she pushes herself more and more every day, going out farther and father in an attempt to work through the thoughts in her head.

Other times she might be found in the stable, or outside with one of Vanille's animals, grooming kirin or playing with the other animals from the barn area in the police station. Not much of one to cook, she heads to the inn often for food, spending time by the fire and studying books she got from the schoolhouse.

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Ashley glances up, arching a brow. "I'm going to go... A what? But then it's this place so who knows," she says with a grin. "Nope, haven't seen one, and really?" She chuckles at that, turning to face Foggy and sliding her hands into her pockets. "Where do you get goats around here? Are they native?"

"Not native, friends up north got two kid goats after they tracked back with a groffle calf. The kids bounce, Ashley. They bounce, it is adorable, you must come with me immediately to see them." This is clearly very important.

She laughs at that. "I admit, I've never seen a baby goat. Hell, last live goat I saw was being stalked by a chupacabra, so I'm not sure that counts or is fair for him. Definitely wasn't bouncing, so definitely. Let's do it."

She's definitely up for it, and she needs to focus on the good things here.

"That's it, we're going North to show you baby goats. There is nothing in the world that a baby goat can't fix. Except maybe when a kitten is the solution. But I can steal one of those, if it's that serious."

She laughs at that, giving a jerk of her head. "Come on then. I could use the walk and check things out up there."

And she just finds his excitement about them being so delightful she can't pass it up.

Foggy is totally enchanted with the baby goats.

"Very well, this way, mademoiselle."

Laughing once more, she buttons up her jacket and heads for the path that goes to the north village. She's silent for a time, considering things and how life has been here.

"Can I ask you some weird questions?" The words come suddenly and she winces. "Or not if you don't want to."

"Go ahead." He's not bothered, invasive is basically his life. "I might decline to answer, but ask away."

She isn't sure how to approach this, or what questions even to ask, but she figures Foggy will be open with her, and won't think it too weird.

"What would you do if you found out you're dead?"

Foggy pauses. "I was asked this by some else here a while ago," he admits. "And I thought about it pretty seriously. But the fact is, I can imagine but I don't know how accurate it would be. I'm a pretty grounded in what is sort of guy. If I found out that I was dead back home? I think I'd make the most of what I have here. It would certainly take some of the moral weight of my life there and my life here off my shoulders."

"Moral weight? How so?" She asks it a bit sharply, curious as she looks at him as she walks, not slowing her step. But now he's touching on something she needs to think about, about things she's never had to face before this place. She had the morals of the Sanctuary and her mother to keep her in check.

In this place though, she has none of that and now no reason to be concerned about the woman she is, or what might become of her. Just not sure her morals are enough on their own, all things considered.

"Well... back home, I was in a relationship. It was sort of serious, you know? But now I'm here, she's there, probably unaware of me here because if I'm a clone of the guy she's with... yeah."

He shrugs a little. "There's someone here, we're... close. There's sparks. But I'm not cheating on Marci if the situation is as I said. And one day, maybe I'll feel that way, rather than just intellectualise it."

"Oh. Huh. Okay, that makes more sense," she says, nodding at him. "Well not that it is likely gonna help but I agree with you. I mean, you're right. If we're clones, or in my case dead, all of that doesn't matter as much because we're there doing our things. Dating, or being suicidal dust apparently," she says, nose wrinkling. It's easy to pretend it doesn't matter or that it's no big deal. Even when it's huge to her.

"Though I don't have a lot of moral issues." She snorts when she says it, kind of smirking. "I think it was kind of bred out of me in a way, and nurture in another. In a good way. I had to do what I was good at."

"Well, you'd still be a clone, just of someone who has died, but that makes you still alive. You, Ashley, this person, this body? Is alive. You are alive. And that's what matters now." He reaches out to grab her hand and squeeze it reassuringly. "And that doesn't mean you can't have morals, or be a good person."

It makes her smile, because it's been easy to fall into this line of thought that she's dead, and that's all there is. But he's right. There's a lot more to it, and a lot that means she is here and she's alive and that's all that matters.

"It's not the dead part that makes me question my morals. That comes with the parental experimentation on themselves, the instincts of a serial killer, and incubating for a century," she says, doing what is actually jazz hands. "Surprise? Welcome to my life?"

"... I'm going to give you a hug. Please don't hurt me, just say no if you don't want one."

Because she needs a hug. Badly.

She doesn't say no though, stepping in to him and leaning in against him. "Is a hug saying you believe me at least? Even here it just feels all weird and odd to admit to the reality of my life."

"I believe you," he states. Her story is much less weird than Bull's existence. Maybe, before here, he wouldn't have.

He hugs her tight and firm. "I believe you."

She holds tight to him for a moment, finding herself easily clinging to the comfort being offered to her. "Thank you. It's... it's harder than just saying I know what morals are expected, you know? And not as if I have my mom to look to here, not that she would have ever wanted me to end up like this, not being certain."

Foggy gives another tight squeeze. "Generally? Start with 'will what I do negatively impact another person?' because that's a simple start."

"You are aware that monster hunter comes with the job description that everything you do negatively impacts another person, right?"

She's smiling a bit, but there's honesty to that. "If you're protecting one group from another, someone is impacted."

"So does 'police officer' if you look at it like that. But the thing is, you're hunting those who have already taken to making other people's lives worse. You're stopping them from continuing on. And that's positively impacting more lives. That's pretty good."

She falls quiet for a minute, thinking about that and what it means. Thinking about the way her mother looked at it, and why her mother had put her on that path.

"You and my mom would get along really well,' she admits, smiling thinking about that. "She put me on this path to channel my latent desires, I guess. I hadn't noticed them until I was here without the outlet for them."

"Yeah?" He thinks that's probably a good thing. Probably. "There's a lot of things go towards shaping someone's tendency to violence and anger, both nature and nurture. But you still have a choice about what you do with those feelings. You choose to protect people. And you can still do that here. Lord knows I can't protect myself."

She chuckles at that, smiling fondly at Foggy. "I'm not going to give in to them,' she admits, though she's been finding it harder and harder. "I chose to because I know what happens if I don't," she admits. "I've seen it in my dad. He... the blood he had may have been part of it, but it let him be able to do things most can't," she says, thinking about it. "And it went downhill from there. I never thought of it being part of me but here? I can feel it," she says, feeling she needs to talk about this.

"I have no plans to end up a killer though. Not like that. Not innocent people."

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