no one knows what the future holds ( OTA with closed sections )

[tosavecocoon]

WHO: Oerba Dia Vanille
WHERE: House 38, up north in the kirin fields, back at house 38 outside
WHEN: Dec 20th, 21st, 22nd
OPEN TO: House 38 starter is closed to Phryne, exploring is closed to Ashley and Natasha, last section at the house with the kirin is OTA
WARNINGS: possible mentions of torture, loss of agency, zombie-like monsters and getting turned into one. Her sneak preview is from 4:05 to 4:20 on the clip

---

House 38, closed to Phryne

It starts out like any other day. Vanille wakes up, happily dons all of her various bangles and jewelry, and dresses in a combination of her normal clothes and something appropriate for the weather. It's nice to have all of her clothes and jewelry back. For a few minutes each day she can almost pretend that she's back home in Oerba, before anything happened to them at all.

Except today something pings on her wristband. She frowns at it, noticing the countdown. She doesn't know the calendar that this place is using, so it doesn't mean much to her. What catches her attention instead is the clip that plays next. The clip is only a few seconds long, but she recognizes too much about it. Sure, she and Fang haven't set foot inside Orphan's cradle before they woke up on Cocoon, but she recognizes it all the same. That being in the background... that laugh. Those weapons on the ground are all familiar, too, in a stronger way. Those are the weapons of her family. Her new Cocoon family. And they've all somehow gone Cie'th with Fang and Vanille being the only ones still upright.

This can't be anything. It can't. Vanille doesn't remember this happening. Maybe it's the future? But how? And why? Or maybe she's just like Fang and can't remember this part. Maybe something else happened. All of these new Cie'th, just like the Calvary. But these are her family, turned Cie'th for no purpose than because she and Fang failed their Focus. Because Vanille keeps running.

Guilt nearly swallows her. As she presses her hands to her ears and squeezes her eyes shut, she lets out a horrendous shriek. Both dog-like creatures start barking and making noise, clearly as distraught as their human mistress. The redhead dissolves into inconsolable sobs, rocking where she sits on the edge of her bed, clearly in no fit state to do anything.

exploring, closed to Ashley and Natasha

With Ty gone, there are only about two people left Vanille wants to take out on an exploration. She has several acquaintances and people she wouldn't mind hanging out with. But Ashley and Natasha are currently at the top of her "take out exploring" list. So, after letting Phryne know that she's going to explore a bit, she sends Natasha and Ashley separate messages, asking them to go exploring with her. Taking care to make sure her llamas are okay without her, she packs her own bag with supplies and rations, pats Bhakti and Raine on the head, and makes her way outside.

With her two other friends coming along, Vanille leads the way up north. She's much more subdued than she normally is - no tearstains in sight at least, but there's a determined set to her jaw that speaks of some kind of deep pain she doesn't want to talk about. Eventually, during one of their breaks, Vanille spots a group of horses. Her face lights up more than it has been since they started out and she decides to make camp so she can spend some time just watching the majestic animals. Good thing she brought some rope this time. She might need it if she tries to bring some of these home with her.

If she isn't just watching the horses, she might be staring into the campfire or seeing how her companions are doing. She needs to introduce her llamas to Ashley when they get back... and maybe this is a good time to tell Ashley more about who, and what, she is. As for Natasha, there's always time to get to know each other. It isn't as though Vanille has been hiding everything about herself and her world anymore. Just the important details. But the longer she spends here, the more she thinks that these people really don't know what l'Cie are. And maybe they won't be afraid of her.

at home with the kirin, ota, around the evening of Dec 22nd

Eventually, once she's gotten her new pair of horses settled into the pen and introduced them to the four llamas, Vanille decides to spend some time outside with her menagerie. She still needs names for two of the llamas and now she has to pick out names for the horses. That will give her something to do for a while, pondering names. 


She does have to keep an eye on Raine, though. Bhakti seems to have a healthy appreciation for the new beasts, keeping his distance until they seem to accept him. Raine, on the other hand, is used to the llamas, which are gentle and tolerant of a lot of things. The horses startle too easily and after the first few mishaps with them, Vanille picks up her errant puppy and holds onto him. Eventually, she sets him down inside her room, where she doesn't have to worry too much about him, and returns to getting used to the horses. Later, she'll let Raine back outside, but for now she needs to keep things as calm as possible for the horses.


This proves to be easier said than done, she realizes, as the horses stare at the latest person approaching. Their nostrils flare, ears twitching everywhere. Vanille runs her hands down both of their necks, quietly talking to them. "It's all right. It's just another person. You're gonna be fine. Promise!" 

And maybe she's saying that as much for her own benefit as theirs.

Comments

[skyward_eyes]

Normally Nida didn't bother with the animals around the village. There is Rinoa's peakitten, but other than that he's been avoiding some of the larger ones because well, he'd never been good with animals. But there were two in there that bothered him a little...

"There's something wrong with your Mesmerize," he observed to the woman by the beasts. "It's horn is all wrong. And it has four hooves instead of hooves and claws. In a way, it almost looks like Odin's legendary steed, but with a horn and missing two legs... What... is it?"

[tosavecocoon]

Vanille blinks at the sudden comments. It's enough of a pause as she glances at the newcomer that both of the horses bolt, trotting off to the other side of the large pen. The llamas are still unconcerned.

"Huh? I think they're some kind of horse. I've never heard of a Mesmerize. Not as an animal or monster. What is it?" There's the concept of mesmerizing someone or something, but she has a feeling that isn't what he means. "They're really shy and easy to spook though."

Case and point how they're watching the two people from across the pen, heads up and nostrils still flaring with each breath.

[skyward_eyes]

Monster. Now if that isn't an interesting choice of word. For a long moment Nida considered the red head, as if he's trying to figure out whether she'd get it or not. Probably best not to start with 'moon monsters' as his explanation, though.

"Mesmerizes were definitely monsters. Not as fluffy as those 'horse' things you have. Let's see... They had detachable front horns that were mostly blade like. Great for making swords and the like. Big curved things about as long as my leg, razor sharp, and they could throw them like boomerangs, but they were good for making mega-potions. Their bodies were sort of purple and tan leather with tufts of white fur and a white mane. Back legs were hoofs, front were claws. Had nice fangs and loved fresh meat. Not particularly strong against any given magic, and their immunity to stop spells was frustrating to say the least."

Sorry, Vanille, Nida took pride in all the time he had spent memorizing monster descriptions, stats, and tactical approaches to them. And as she was the first one that asked anything direct enough to justify the explanation (except for people generally interested in dragons because of course), she had become the target of a small lecture.

"Honestly, four-legged hooved creatures were pretty much bad news back home. Well, I guess there were domesticated cows, but you had to keep those away from monsters."

[tosavecocoon]

Vanille listens with her head titled in interest. All of that sounds really fascinating and nothing like what she knows or has seen so far. Maybe something like that was bred on Cocoon at one point. She certainly hasn't seen one on Gran Pulse.

"They sound really neat," she says brightly. "Kinda like something better seen from a distance. Definitely not up close. My home has a lot of creatures like that. Ochus, Neochus, Behemoths, Oretoises. They're all much better seen from afar."

[skyward_eyes]

Okay... Nida is now watching her closer. In fact, he hops up onto the fence and frowns.

"Ochus. Like... big green plant monster, two legs, flower like thing on the head? Really long tentacles or vines or whatever. And Behemoths are giant, quadrapedal things, sorta mammal-like? Two protruding horns, a serious mane, massive claws and teeth, huge tail?"

He gets more and more excited as he talks. Because finally someone gets it when he says MONSTERS.

"And maybe things like Cactaurs? Little green plants with legs and arms and they can shoot their needles?"

[tosavecocoon]

"Kind of, yeah!" Vanille chirps. "I think the Ochus have more green than the Neochu, but they're both huge and you can't really tell if they're a plant or an animal. The ones on Gran Pulse always came with little seedlings." And those seedlings hurt a lot when they ganged up on everyone. "Our Behemoths could stand on their legs once you hit them enough. They'd rip the giant circular saw off their heads and regenerate all their health. That was when you knew you were in for it."

Having grown up around all of these things, Vanille definitely gets it. She lights up at the mention of Cactuars. "Yeah! Like a thousand at a time! They really hurt! And then there's the giant one that throws more needles and makes you all kinds of dizzy!"

[skyward_eyes]

Wow, she really did know a bit of the struggle of his life, and forgive him, but Nida was smiling.

"Wow, sounds like Gran Pulse is a bit more troublesome than my world. Behemoths didn't have saws in their head for one. My name's Nida and you have no clue what a relief it is to have someone not flinch at talking about monsters."

Or maybe she would have an idea of the level of relief. He settled more comfortably on the fence as he watched her animals. If a woman from a world with behemoths were comfortable in there, he can truth the beasts.

"Where do monsters come from on your world? Ours are from our moon."

[connatural]

A random message with a video. Ashley had no idea what she expected with that, so seeing her mother, prone, pleading with someone, with Ashley, had left her lost. Helen wasn't here to clear things up, and the one person that might know... She just can't bring herself to go to Druitt. Not yet. Eventually though.

So the message from Vanille couldn't be better timed. Distraction was the best thing while she tries to cope with an empty house and thoughts that won't stop spinning around in her brain. This trip is the best thing she could think of at that moment.

So she grabs her supplies, puts them in a pack and heads out. The hike is helpful though, as well as the company. It doesn't fix it all, but it reminds Ashley that she's not in this alone.

Seeing the kirins though is amazing and exciting, and it's easy to focus on setting up camp and watching them. Later though, she's quiet a bit, glancing at Vanille. After a moment, she clears her throat.

"So uhmmm... You doing okay?" It sounds lame to her own ears, and usually she's not this reticent but life in the village has gotten weird for Ashley and she's not handling it well.

[tosavecocoon]

They could really use about three more people for Vanille to feel anything close to normal. But still, they are three people eager for a good exploration, who admire the wildlife and the terrain and get along fairly well. What more could they want?

Still, it's easy to tell that Vanille isn't okay. She hasn't been her cheerful self since they left and her pace has been more determined than enjoyed. By the time Ashley asks her question, Vanille has squatted down to watch the horses from afar, but even that doesn't seem to have her normal energy. If anything, she's acting like she did at Nautilus and if Sazh were here, he'd be pointing that out. For a few minutes, she doesn't answer, taking the time to mull over whether or not she wants to talk about it... or explain fully why she's so upset. But this is Ashley and they've already talked about a lot and so far no one has even known what a fal'Cie is, let alone a l'Cie. Maybe this is one thing she shouldn't keep trying to face later.

Straightening, she turns to Ashley and shakes her head slowly. No, she's not okay, though she doubts Ashley was expecting an affirmative answer. "Do you remember... when we had that last conversation?" she starts softly, almost hesitantly. "When I told you about fal'Cie? I didn't tell you everything. I didn't tell you about l'Cie. Not the important things."

Not the worst of it. Not that she is one and she's been responsible for so many needless deaths. She sighs wearily, scuffing the ground with a boot before turning away to shield her eyes against the sunlight with one hand.

"The thing about l'Cie... the fal'Cie brand them and give them a Focus, some goal to meet. The brand starts small, but over time, it grows. If you complete your Focus before your brand fully opens, you turn to crystal for eternity. If you don't... then you turn Cie'th and you're left to wander as a mindless monster for eternity instead."

[connatural]

"I remember," she says, nodding slightly. That Vanille speaks of this again, something that seems to bother her so deeply worries Ashley. Not knowing where they are, what kind of world this is, she worries so much that some of the things that haunt them all might one day become an issue for them in whatever this place is.

So she falls quiet, listening as Vanille tells Ashley about her world. About being enslaved to complete a task. An enslavement that ends in...

"When you say turn to crystal, do you mean like a statue? Your payment for doing what they've forced on you is to die? Or do you live as crystal?"

She speaks softly, slowly, not even sure if she wants to ask this considering that neither answer is good, and both are horrific in their own right. Shifting her weight, trying to find comfort in that moment with how uncomfortable this topic is, worrying that Vanille bears one of these marks, and then wondering what that means in this place.

[tosavecocoon]

Letting her arm fall back to her side, she glances back at Ashley and shakes her head again. "No, you're still alive as a crystal. But you're definitely a statue and it's meant to last forever." She doubts the fal'Cie would want to give their l'Cie too much hope after all. It had always been like saying goodbye no matter what, especially for people on Cocoon. Vanille had watched Serah and Dajh turn to crystal, neither one of them deserving of what had happened to them. She had seen firsthand how everyone around them had reacted, the despair that was shown. Guilt swirls up inside her and she fights back the tears.

"I grew up on Gran Pulse. It was a lot like this." Spreading her arms out, she slowly turns in a circle before letting them fall back to her sides, head still tilted upwards, like not focusing on Ashley will make this easier to talk about. "But there was another world up in the air called Cocoon. You could see it from almost anywhere, a light brown sphere just hanging in the sky. When I was growing up, there was a war between Gran Pulse and Cocoon. I was chosen to fight in that war and so I became a l'Cie. My Focus... was Cocoon's destruction."

Vanille takes a breath, closing her eyes for a moment while she lets Ashley absorb what she's said so far. It's a lot to take in and she isn't really doing justice to the gravity of the whole thing. But it still requires time to understand and work through and she needs to prepare herself for any questions that might come too.

[connatural]

"And by statue, do you mean still?" She winces, realizing that perhaps she is asking too much because in the end, either is a horror to her. Though she has to be honest, one is much worse than the other. Though she imagines either could be shattered, and that's a new terror all on its own for Ashley as well.

"You were conscripted into war, like being drafted against your will, and then they held your life over your head? Destroy an entire world or become a monster?" And become a statue if you did. Some choice there. "I mean, am I getting this right?"

Because it all sounds like madness to her, but then some of the things she's known in her life were madness as well. They didn't make more sense than what she is hearing, and none of it hurts less, really.

"How could they even do that to you?"

[tosavecocoon]

Vanille nods to both questions, her head dipping back down. Her fingers twine around each other as she keeps her hands occupied so she can talk. "It wasn't entirely unwilling. But we didn't know all it meant, all that the war actually was. All our lives we'd heard that Cocoon was a nest of vipers waiting to strike. We didn't know any better. But when it came down to it, I couldn't destroy it. I couldn't hurt anyone. Fang almost did it. She became Ragnarok and cracked Cocoon's shell. That's why her brand froze and mine is still active."

Fang was here for a time, long enough for Vanille to settle into life with her again. Now that she's gone, Vanille feels more adrift. She's trying to live on her own, but it isn't easy. That's why she found a roommate as soon as she could. She wouldn't manage for long completely alone.

"But that's what the fal'Cie do. They give you a Focus and it's either go crystal or go Cie'th. That's why Cocoon is so afraid of l'Cie." She shrugs like it's not that big of a deal. The truth is that she'd grown up with that knowledge. Some people even became l'Cie voluntarily. "When we woke up again, Fang and I found a new family with four people from Cocoon. They were turned into l'Cie... because I was running from my Focus. We all promised that we would find a way to save Cocoon. We aren't going to stop trying, but..."

Her voice trails off and she gives her head another shake, as if to clear it from the emotions still obviously haunting her. They're on the edge of trying back home, of facing Barthandelus one last time to see what might happen, what they can make happen. This new video on her wristband... she can't figure out where it is or why and isn't sure if she wants to. If that actually happened or will in the future... it may well destroy her.

Kirin!

[firacrux]

Another day finding excuses to stay busy. Between the forge and the house there was always a need for firewood, so Seifer had been out busy for the last hour or so hauling back sticks from the forest. The day was weird enough to start with, so why not a little weirder?

Seeing someone soothing a pair of what looked to be horribly mutated Mesmerize was certainly up there on the weird scale. He paused, blinking, and frowning in concern. "Hey I don't wanna alarm you but you might not wanna be in a pen with those." He calls out to her, clearly concerned. She did realize they were carnivorous and highly aggressive, right? Although right now they looked almost afraid of him instead. Which made no sense at all.

[tosavecocoon]

If he had come by any earlier and said this before she'd figured out what Mesmerizes were, she probably would have been more alarmed. As it is, she remembers that conversation and wonders if he's another one who isn't used to nice four-footed animals. She scratches one of the horses behind an ear, smiling at them.

"They're all right. They're very skittish, but they haven't done anything hurtful since I first saw them." And that's been a couple of days by now. "Do you know something I don't?"

[firacrux]

Seifer continues to look deeply concerned and alarmed. Just, casually petting one, like it was tame? Granted the horns were all wrong and...

"Where are the fangs?" He moved a little bit closer, very cautiously, like he was waiting for one to leap over the fence and try to maul him. "Maybe not? I've never seen one that looks like this before. You sure they aren't going to try to eat you?" If it's been three days they definitely would have by now. Yep, another one who thinks they're Mesmerize.

[tosavecocoon]

As Seifer steps closer, one of the horses shies away, trotting off to the other end of the enclosure. The second one stands its ground for now, mostly because Vanille is standing between it and the other human.

"They just have normal teeth for grass-eaters," Vanille says, gently playing with the horse's nose until it opens its lips to show its teeth. The animal mostly wants to just play back or see if she has any food, but she isn't about to lose the opportunity to show off its fang-less teeth. "They haven't shown a liking for meat since I found them. They seem too shy to want to hurt anyone."

[firacrux]

With one of them backing off Seifer likewise backed up a few paces, still watching the creatures warily. The longer he observed, the more he realized there was something very off about them. Essentially everything, everything was off.

"These are some real funny lookin' Mesmerize," He observes finally, eyes roaming mostly over the horns. Not even useful for a blade. "Mistaken identity?" He offers, since yeah with them being skittish and lacking any fangs, claws, or the blade-like horn he's inclined to believe that this isn't a related species. Kind of like the peacats.

[tosavecocoon]

On the plus side, neither of the horses look like they're about to attack. The one still beside Vanille shifts, sticking where it is for now, though clearly uncertain. She pats its neck, glancing back at the new person.

"I don't think they're the same. I don't know what they are, but they're not Mesmerize." Letting the remaining horse step away, she steps lightly over to the fence, peering up at the man. "You're the second person who has mentioned Mesmerize. I'd never heard the name until today."

[fishingfortrouble]

Phryne is, admitted, still getting a feel for her new roommate. Not that she has any objection to the arrangement. Far from it in fact! Vanille feels a little like home, for all that it's been very clear that their worlds are, in fact, worlds apart. Plus it's not like Phryne hasn't had a tendency to fill her house with people anyway - while this one isn't hers in quite the same way, the general idea is similar enough.

Having the morning be broken by an unholy shriek from her roommate's room, meanwhile, is absolutely the last thing she'd have been expecting. She's moving almost before it dies off though. She's always been more kind-hearted than she tends to let on and it's not long at all before she comes all but skidding into Vanille's room.

(Normally she wouldn't intrude like this, but it's blatantly obvious that something is very wrong.)

She pauses, briefly, just inside the door, but when it becomes clear that Vanille doesn't even seem to have noticed her, she comes to take a careful seat on the bed.

"Can I help with anything?"

[tosavecocoon]

For all that Vanillle doesn't know Phryne all that well, having someone else in the house now that Fang is gone has been the best thing for her. She has never lived alone, never been alone for longer than a few days and even then she had really been surrounded by people anyway. This village is smaller and much more spread apart than Oerba. Living here without someone else, even with her menagerie of animals, had begun to wear on her.

Right now, though, she's still in the middle of a miniature breakdown, unable to stop sobbing for a while. Phryne's question goes unnoticed for a time, though eventually she lets her hands fall to her lap. Her head is still bowed and her irregular sniffs and breaths indicate that her tears haven't fully stopped. At least the shrieking and vocal sobbing seems to have faded. For now.

"I don't know," she admits, her voice thick with emotion and tears. "Something played on my wristband. A... video or something. I don't know what it was, but it can't have been real. It can't!"

[fishingfortrouble]

If Vanille needs a moment or three, still, Phryne isn't about to tell her otherwise. Instead, she simply waits patiently, concerned but uncertain if Vanille would be willing to accept even so much as a shoulder to cry on. Her assumption is to say yes, but even so she can't deny that feels a little bit like overstepping the boundaries of their friendship, given that they have just recently gotten to know each other.

Instead, she settles for waiting patiently nearby, and once Vanille does finally settle enough to speak she doesn't look any less concerned. In fact, she very nearly looks more, especially after Vanille mentions having seen something on her wristband.

"Do you think it could be the people who brought us here playing some kind of trick?"

She is, admittedly, largely guessing on that front. She's aware that the wristbands can display videos, yes. But how easy it is to make a video of something that's never happen is something that she's not at all familiar with.

[tosavecocoon]

At this point, Vanille could do with a good, tight hug, but she isn't about to ask it of someone she doesn't know all that well. For all that she and Phryne have a close enough friendship to be housemates, they don't know all of the details of each other's lives. And right now, Vanille isn't in the frame of mind to find out the hard way if her housemate doesn't appreciate a good hug.

Instead, she just wipes at her eyes again, trying to hold it all back and failing. She's so panicked at this point that she can't even cling to the idea of facing it later, her motto. She's facing it now and it hurts. More than she ever thought it would.

"It could be," she admits after another couple of minutes. She might just take that and cling to it instead. "If it is... then whoever showed it to me knows more about me than anyone else." It's frustrating and frightening. "How could they have known what we were facing?"

[fishingfortrouble]

If the idea that it might not be real is what Vanille needs to cling to in order to be able to face whatever it is she's just seen, Phryne's hardly about to tell her that she can't. Especially given that for all she know it could very well not be true. And even if it does turn out to be, she can't help but wish she could do more to help Vanille bear whatever hurt she's dealing with. More than a bare handful of words and a hope that maybe whatever horrors she's seen aren't real.

"They would have to have seen something of where we came from in order to bring us here. What's to say they couldn't have gone back and asked a few questions?"

Or more than a few, depending on how accurate a representation of the future they'd want to create. Even if Phryne can't deny that the idea of their captors returning to their various homes is a terribly comforting idea.

[tosavecocoon]

Nothing is going to make this any easier to swallow, for the most part. Phryne's help and quiet comforting is doing a lot to calm Vanille down from her panic, but she probably won't be okay for a while. Her fingers curl together, linking her hands as though that simple act will hold her together.

"Yeah. Maybe."

Whatever the reasoning, she is going to need some time to process. And that might entail some time with the animals. One of which proceeds to leap up on the bed with them, wriggling his blueish colored body until he's under Vanille's arms. It's enough to make her smile.

"I think someone just wants to help." The help is definitely appreciated, from both of them. "Thanks, Phryne. You, too, Raine."

The puppy whines happily.