sixthiterationlogs | closed | here but, lost in this vast sky

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closed | here but, lost in this vast sky

WHO: Kamala Khan
WHERE: Inn
WHEN: day after Matt's arrival
OPEN TO: Karen Page
WARNINGS: Possible Daredevil s3 spoilers?

Things are weird for a lot of reasons. Quick example? It's weird not to have Karen in the house across from theirs. The one Kamala is thinking of today has to do with the newest blind damsel to join the community. It's pretty weird he came in talking about stuff that happens in Frank's future if they're all clones or something. What's the point of programming one with extra memories?? Then again the guy is also covered in scars so maybe he is also the Gucci of clones. Again. Weird.

Kamala tries to put that all out of her mind as she tracks Karen down at the Inn. It's not hard when they're like ten people living here. Kamala comes a lot to cook and visit friends already. She knocks on the door and hopes the other woman isn't out. She really should have texted her first! "Hey, Karen? Are you here? It's Kamala! The cute one?" She tries to joke, but it comes out flat. The truth is Matt really spooked her with all this talk of devils wanting Karen dead. Having met the guy she's in no way confident Karen is safe. That's unacceptable to Kamala whether she's living close to her home or not.

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"Just a sec," Karen calls from where she's seated at the spindly little desk shoved up against the wall of this new room of hers. She quickly finishes up a notation, her previous scrawl now a tidy, tiny print in the interest of saving paper, and then hastily drops the pencil aside and moves to the door in her socked feet.

"Hey," she greets as she pulls it open, then steps back so Kamala can come inside if she wants. "Everything okay?"

It can't be anything too urgent, not with Kamala's choice of words. But the look on her face doesn't quite fit with the buoyancy of the phrasing.

Kamala takes the chance to come inside. She doesn't make it too far before she turns back to Karen to essentially talk at her. It's pretty obvious she's worried and freaked out. She can't turn into a giant girl and smash whoever tries to mess with Karen here. Sure, she still kind of likes her chair plan, but she misses the part where she smashes and everyone is safe.

"I kind of wanted to ask you that. I met your friend Matt yesterday. He kind of not so nicely announced to us that someone tried to kill you so I'm here to ask if you remembered that happening. Also are you okay? I'm not saying I'm worried, but I totally am because we are in a tiny village so if anything happens running kind of isn't an option even if we were the type." As established in support group, Kamala is the hit them with a chair type. "Not that we're going to run! Obviously we'll totally fight for you! Me and other hypothetical people who we will determine at a later date depending on the threat-" This is the part where she finally pauses to take a breath. "... So are you okay?"

Kamala has a way of tumbling everything out at once, and Karen's learned to wait patiently for her to finish. Sometimes it takes a moment to sift through what's been said, and Karen hesitates a moment now, her brow creasing, and then motions Kamala toward the bed, still made from that morning.

"I do remember," she says, pushing the door gently closed, and then crosses to the desk so she can pull the chair closer. "And I'm fine. Thank you for worrying, though. I—"

She pauses again, tilting her head as she takes a seat, considering her wording. "I saw Matt, obviously," she begins again with a motion Kamala's way. "But a weird thing happened to me a few days ago. I hadn't come from that far ahead on the timeline, when he's from, but I woke up the other day and I... had. Like I'd gotten a download of the memories while I slept. And it actually... was better." She squints into the middle distance. "Which probably sounds crazy, but I got some questions answered, and then Matt was here..." She shrugs. "But I'm fine. No one is presently trying to kill me that I'm aware of," she adds with a soft laugh, because they both know that might not be permanent, not when you spend time with vigilantes.

"Matt actually worked out a deal with the guy who wanted to kill me, so even back home, it's okay." In theory, anyway.

She takes the hint to go sit. Kamala bounces lightly on the bed before settling down. She's really scared for her. Maybe she should have more faith. Technically isn't she the vulnerable one in the community? Kamala doesn't know who is after her even with a million educated guesses at her disposal. That alone is enough to scare her. She can't plan for someone she doesn't know.

The only thing that might be scarier is the news someone can apparently load memories directly into their heads. "That's... really unsettling, Karen. I am glad it doesn't hurt or anything-" She trails off. Kamala knows if she keeps tugging on this thread she will lose her original point. She'll have to circle back to it.

"Matt mentioned that. He also called the guy a devil and a friend of Frank's which I think is code for someone super crazy. To be honest, I am shocked he's still alive if Frank knows he exists." She leaves that there because she doesn't want anyone to think she's advocating for that. She really, really isn't. It's just surprising to her. "My point is I'm not super confident we can rely on a deal here so could you please tell me who this is? I want to be ready to protect you." She says it with all the confidence and enthusiasm you would expect from a teenager ready to pick a fight she thinks she can win.

"Ah— That's..." Karen cants her head, her expression softening as she lets Kamala continue. The kid really is a good person, one of the most fiercely, earnestly protective Karen has even known, and that's really saying something. It hits her now that somehow, she herself has ended up in that elite group Kamala would fiercely, earnestly protect, and she has to duck her head for a tick, a little overwhelmed by gratitude.

"Wilson Fisk is his name," Karen answers, sobered when she looks back up. "If Daredevil has a nemesis, he's it. He's big— Really big. White. Bald. Unless Mr. Clean comes through the fountain, you're probably not going to mistake him. And listen to me, Kamala, I am very serious here: If you see him, you find Frank, okay? Don't even try to talk to him. Treat him like you would Kilgrave."

And now that the warning has been said, she probably should be a little more worried about the possibility of Fisk actually hauling himself out of the fountain someday, and yet...

"But really, I'm fine, and it isn't a thing we need to worry about right now. Fisk is not a friend of Frank's—" She sighs. "Fisk helped Frank break out of prison, for his own purposes. They're not friends. And let's be real, is Frank ever going to let anybody hurt me? And that's not even taking into account everybody else here who's still pretty formidable. Captain America, Iron Man." She smiles. "You."

She recognizes that name. No wonder everyone is kind of hedgy when it comes time to explain to the teenager what is going on. It also confirms what she already was positive of, but that's another story for another time. The mention of Kilgrave makes her sit a little straighter.

She has to swallow down the bitter taste of what aftermath she did see when it came to that man. If there's one way to make sure Kamala will never even indulge the thought of Wilson Fisk being redeemable in any way, that's it. She has too many memories of how effectively that purple monster was enabled into terrorizing one too many people because he can't be that bad, right? No matter how many times his victims argued it. At least Karen seemed to have gotten the message from Frank about that. It'll keep her safe for the five seconds it will take either Jessica or Frank to kill him with Kamala none the wiser about it.

She nods and tries to get a grip with a weak smile being all she has to show for it. "Got it. Find Frank and let him do whatever he thinks is best. He wouldn't let anything happen to either of us." That makes her more sad than anything having seen how deep the consequences were for protecting her and the other children back then. "Thanks for filling me in. I know I'm kind of- trusting." Read: thinks the best of everyone. Sometimes that's a good thing. It's what made her give Karen and Frank a chance despite knowing they're both complicated in their own ways. She's even giving Matt a chance despite thinking he's a huge jerk. She never wants to be the kind of person who excuses monsters so it's good to know who really qualifies as one. "But, I would keep you safe even if I felt sorry for whoever was after you." Now she simply won't.

"I know you would," Karen replies, her smile fond. And if that worries her a little, she doesn't show it. What Kamala could or couldn't do back home, Karen isn't completely clear on, but reminding her of all the ways she's powerless in this place doesn't seem like it would help anybody. The kid already knows, just like they all do.

"And I like that you're trusting," she adds. "It's not a bad quality to have, believing the best of people. But in this case, just be extra careful. Fisk doesn't have mind control, but he's manipulative in other ways."

She nods and looks tired. This is one of those moments where Kamala feels too old to be sixteen. She thinks back to every conversation, every terrible revelation, and wishes she could have done more while knowing nothing could be done by the child she was at the time. Her shoulders slump as a result. "I kind of figured from the Kilgrave comparison, but good to know." It's good to know Karen doesn't think she's a lost cause. She likes believing in people. She just saw the other side of that too. It wasn't the first time by any means, but months of horror versus one terrible day leaves a deeper scar for obvious reasons.

Kamala continues as if to clarify why she's so determined to pry into this. It really isn't her business. She's grateful to be indulged, but all the same... "I think one of my worst nightmares would be having a repeat of what went down in Reims with someone else. I never want to see you or anyone else in the position she was in again." She brushes back her longer locks and shifts gears. The age melts off of her somewhat as she notes lightly, "Also for the record it's super disturbing that you got memories downloaded into your brain overnight. We should probably be deeply concerned about it."

"It's definitely disturbing, but I don't know if it's worse or better than the people who disappear for a few days and then come back through the fountain with more memories than they had before," Karen replies with a faint sigh. "Which is disturbing, too, but I'm realizing that I have to pick my battles in this place."

She spent what was honestly probably way too much time in the beginning, railing against the concept of Big Brother.

"I have no power over this, at least not right now. I learned that the hard way. I don't know if these new memories were given to me out of generosity or to keep me under control. All I can do is document it and keep trying to put the pieces together."

"If I had to make a call, I'm glad you stayed in bed." Kamala responds honestly. If she had another fear? It'd be someone getting kidnapped without any of them being none the wiser about it. People disappear all the time, after all. How could they know Karen would be returned in a few days? This whole conversation is going to give her hives, but it's necessary. Karen is touching on something very important.

"What do you think the answers will be when we put it together? I know everyone calls them observers, but do you really think they just put stuff in our brains just to watch the results? I mean... I talked about this before, but I don't really see how useful any of this data could be." She can't see an endgame here at all. That's what worries her.

"I really don't know. I think if any of us had any real idea, it would be a little easier to take, you know? Even if it was something awful. The not knowing is the worst part, feeling like you're just a pawn in someone's game, but having no idea what the rules are or even what game it is." Karen sighs, her shoulders sinking. "All you can do is just keep going. Do what you can, and try to not let it pull you down."

She has theories. Everyone does. Kamala probably does, too, Karen thinks, even though Kamala is one of the most optimistic people she's met, always looking for a silver lining.

Karen's theories are not nearly so nice.

"I don't know if we're here as experiments or entertainment, or for some reason we can't fathom, but... I've been here almost a year now, and I don't think I'm ever going home. I don't know if I ever really was home. Mostly I just hope it doesn't get any worse than it has been, because I know where you and Frank came from, and just the thought of that makes me grateful you're here now instead."

She leans forward, resting her head on her upraised fist as she listens. Karen does make some good, familiar points that have come up in her talks with Frank and Jessica. While Kamala is looking for a silver lining here, she knows it could easily go all the way south. Maybe it won't be sound monsters, but that thing that killed Peeta does spring to mind as something you could unleash regularly for either entertainment or to see how your subjects react. She can't let the thought go any further than that for her sanity.

"Yeah.... Frank told me he used to pray you wouldn't show up and I totally buy it. You probably would have gotten killed a lot." She holds up her hand and clarifies. "That's not an insult. Being an adult who cares was pretty much a death sentence. It's why only like three people did it. I rather be here where being kind is less deadly and more encouraged. I feel like if we stick together maybe we'll get answers eventually. You know if they don't try to unintentionally make us kill ourselves for answers again." She shrugs. Casually dropping that into conversations is really the only way to cope with that whole mess. God she misses Owen.

"The longer I'm here, the more I think they're invested in keeping us alive, but you're right. Apparently even our overlords can't account for everything." Like Peeta, a brave boy who should never have been out there fighting a monster.

"And of course, there's the question of what they're keeping us alive for, and we're right back to the same old questions," she adds with a faint, mirthless smile, and then huffs out a slow sigh. "But you know, whatever this is, we're in it together. And I wish you were all home, but since you can't be, I'm glad I have you here with me."

She lets out a huff in place of laughter. Karen is right. She feels like she's gone around in circles with her attempts at being a junior sleuth. How must Karen feel? The rest of what the older woman says filters in and hits the mark for Kamala. While it took unearthing her abilities to truly act on it, Kamala has always been someone who favors unity and community over going solo. It's nice to know Karen cares even after this whole visit making it obvious Karen is a valued member in her circle of people.

"Thanks, Karen. It sucks being separated from my family, again, but I don't regret getting the chance to meet you. Everything gets complicated in places like these but, we're better off together. I'm sure of it."

She is preparing for Christmas despite not celebrating it. It isn't something she is advertising. It probably isn't obvious either considering her faith. In the past that frustrated Kamala. It felt like being left out of a party everyone else was invited to. Now it seems like an excuse to appreciate friends she knows she won't be able to keep forever. After all, she didn't get to keep anyone from Reims save for Jessica and Frank.

That brings her to the woods today looking for the ideal wood for her latest gift project. It is purely a scouting mission. If she finds something good, Kamala will come back with a handsaw or whatever tool she needs to cut it. Wandering the woods with one now will not only be stupid, it will guarantee someone (Frank) will catch onto what she is doing.

She is not the only one with projects. Peter is out there doing something. She assumes it must be important. She offers a quick wave as she continues on hers. "Hey, Peter!" It should be a tip off she is up to something. One: she is dressed in practical clothing that is just dirty enough to give away she's been out here for a while. Two: Kamala has never missed a chance to stop and have a full blown conversation ever. She continues on like a girl on a secret mission because, well, she is.

Peter himself has been out here awhile, although he learned early on that his white (now dingy gray) scrubs weren't good for much except for sleeping in. The overalls and dark jumper he's got on today hide the dirt a whole lot better, although the chaotic state of his hair and the dark smear on his cheek tell another story. The pack flung over his shoulder is full of samples from the trunks and branches of the now-dormant peach orchard, and it had been a messier business than anticipated.

Just now, he's taking a shortcut back home, perking up when Kamala calls his name. "Hey," he calls back, brow creasing as he tromps closer through the underbrush. "What are you doing out here?"

She freezes up. Okay Kamala was definitely expecting him to be too distracted to call her out on this. Okay she can improvise. She's great that! "Definitely not working on a secret plot to make gifts for my friends and loved ones." Actually Kamala sucks at it. This is why everyone back home knows she's Ms. Marvel and hasn't told her about it yet.

Kamala sighs. "Okay so that's exactly what I'm doing. Don't tell anyone. No one expects the Muslim girl to start working on gift ideas for December! It's the perfect plan." You know except for the fact she's clearly telling one of said friends about it!

To Peter's mind, the most extraordinary part of all this is the idea that Kamala has ideas for gifts made from whatever she can find out here. Not in a derisive way — He's impressed. He hasn't even begun to consider whether he needs to give anybody gifts, but he knows he'll probably just end up standing in the inn storeroom, at a loss.

"As plans go, it's not a bad one," he admits. "I promise I won't tell."

Is he himself a 'friend and loved one'? What the heck is he supposed to get for Kamala in return? He can build things, but he is so not crafty.

"I was just out at the peach orchard," he adds, mostly just for something to say. His brow's just a little pinched with the sudden burden of present-giving he didn't even know was there. "I wanted to get some samples from the bark and stuff."

It's safe to say Peter is getting a gift considering the way she just blindly panicked here. Kamala does relax somewhat once he confirms he'll keep this to himself. She doesn't see him as the kind of person to break confidence, but all the same!! "Oh neat! Let me know whatever you find out. I feel like I'm so behind on that stuff because there's so much to do..."

She sighs dramatically. It's a good thing that Tony is always willing to let her in spy on his projects or else she'd go crazy from the lack of actual science projects in her life. God she misses Bruno always taking an initiative for her to follow.

She snaps her fingers as something occurs to her or rather she worked out why his brow was doing that pinchy thing. "Right. I should probably point out that even if you were hypothetically on my list of people to make stuff for which I will neither confirm or deny you're not obligated to do anything for me in return. This is totally a thing I'm doing for my happiness." Except the part where she wants to make them happy by doing this.

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closed | here but, lost in this vast sky

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closed | Peter and Kamala - dust moths - timey-wimey

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