The Butcher, The Baker, and the Temporary Zombie Who Can Bake Cheese Buns (For 5 Days)

[zomboligist]

WHO: Ravi Chakrabarti
WHERE: Bakery
WHEN: August 19 / 20
OPEN TO: OTA
WARNINGS: Ravi's monthly zombie time, so zombie topics about brains likely

---

The one thing Ravi truly hates about his monthly time is the period in which all regular food starts turning to dust in his mouth. It's not like they're sitting on a goldmine of takeout here, but it's still absolutely disappointing to have scrambled eggs in the morning and find absolutely no satisfaction in them at all, craving hot sauce to try and add some taste.

It's awful because he knows what that means. It's time.

He digs out his baseball cap and puts it on before perusing the options in the fridge, trying not to go wholeheartedly teeth-first into one of them, though plenty of them have already been sliced and diced what with the need to stabilize two and a quarter zombies in a limited population. Sighing, he decides that maybe it's best to go with what he knows (roughly), so he slides out Peeta Mellark's brain from the fridge and ends up having a secod omelette that day.

Ravi hates how god it tastes, he honestly does.

What he doesn't hate is when it starts to kick in. Sure, the whole romantically pining for someone bit isn't amazing (because he already misses Peyton and Helen enough), but when he suddenly gets the urge to make cheese buns, he'll take that over other weird personality traits. It's why he's fired up the bakery's oven in the dead of night, working through until the morning. Anyone who comes by would see the light, but into the morning, they'll also smell the aroma of fresh bread and cheese buns, though he's not working with exactly the right cheese. No matter. He's steady enough and he can roll with that.

Hat still securely on to hide the streak of white hair, he plates them all up and starts to stock the window display like he's been doing this for years. And, really, with the brain in his stomach guiding him? He sort of has been.

Comments

[majorlyugh]

"I know how you got this particular brain, but the others you'd mentioned when I got here, they were from the gift gods? .. Do we know how long a brain's shelf-life is? I mean, at least we've got refrigeration here, but even still .." Major scrunches his nose as he thinks about it. Part of him, admittedly, misses the mixed up brain tubes that FG had been giving out to the mercs. No flashbacks, no personality changes, nourishing all the same. Though Major wouldn't mind going on a baking spree one of these days.

"A wendigo? Isn't that .. one of those folklore things? Like chupacabra? Or Slenderman?"

[zomboligist]

"I've got them in blue preserving liquid," Ravi says, so by that token, they should be fine so long as they keep them in a cool place. He'd guess that they've got months before they're back to squirrels, but maybe if they pray really, really hard, it won't get that bad again.

"You do remember your last time here, right?" Ravi checks. "Because we're not exactly a normal environment. I'm less surprised we had a wendigo and more surprised there aren't more strange creatures in the woodwork."

[majorlyugh]

"Flashbacks and stuff more vivid because of it? Although I doubt there's much here that would trigger a flashback, since it's like we're living in a medieval village," Major says, half to himself and half to Ravi. Every day that passes, Major feels the hunger growing, so he knows he's going to have to make a choice soon.

"Yeah, but .. we didn't have wendigos and chupacabras. We had like .. normal woodland creatures, mostly. Trickster foxes. But nothing insane, generally .."

[zomboligist]

Major's definitely been gone long enough. "Next time you're out, maybe look at the animals a little more. Things turned weird around when you left," he admits, thinking of the purple alpaca creatures and the strange bats. "Welcome to the new world, at least we've got brains?" he offers, trying to offer some positive to the whole situation.

[majorlyugh]

"So, probably not advisable to go too deep into the woods or anything without another person? Is it that kind of situation? Those kinds of animals? Or would I still be relatively okay with like, a big stick or something as a weapon?"

[zomboligist]

"Definitely use the buddy system," Ravi agrees, because for a little while, he'd like to not worry about losing his friends. It's amazing that they're both here now, but now he has to worry about them being gone, seeing as things have seemed to escalate in a way he hasn't really come to grips with just yet.

"Liv sort of adopted one of the ugly crocodile things," he warns, "so if you see it around, keep Minor away. Our precious dog baby is too delicate to play with those things."

[majorlyugh]

"Right. Buddy system. I guess I'm just going to have to drag you out for the times I feel like going all Daniel Boone on myself," Major says with fake resignation. He's partially teasing, of course. He would prefer to take Ravi out with him if he had to take anyone with him, but he also knows Ravi's an ... indoor cat. He's not really one with the Great Outdoors.

Neither is Major, really. He's a city mouse, through and through, but he can make a good show of it.

"I'm so glad you still refer to him as our precious dog baby. Because he'll be that, for always." He makes a bit of a face. "What are those things called? Anyone know?"

[zomboligist]

Ravi makes a face because that sounds like he's going to have to go outside, which is one of those things that he's not really pleased about, because it usually requires work and the outdoors and those are two things that don't go over very well with hi.

"He is our precious dog baby and you're not kidnapping this one," Ravi says, as fiercely protective as ever of him. "And I don't know> I know they're ugly as sin, but Liv seems to like it anyway? No accounting for taste in that one."

[majorlyugh]

"That's .. exactly the face I thought you'd make if I suggested it. I promise I won't do it more than like, once a month? But for those times, do you think you could put away the lab coat and all that? I won't make you do anything laborious. It's just to make sure I don't .. I dunno. Get snatched or eaten or .. whatever," Major says with an emphatic and somewhat dismissive wave of his hand in the air. The village is unpredictable; that's the only way in which it is predictable. He knows that. It's better to have a buddy with him, and someone who actually gives a damn about him, in the event things go south.

"Look, I only kidnap dogs when I .. you know, maybe am blackmailed into assassinated their owners and then feel really bad and start spiraling down the path of addiction. I'm not gonna kidnap our own dog." He points to himself, as if to suggest that her almost marrying him was proof enough of her lack of taste. "How like her to unofficially adopt something like that, though."

[zomboligist]

"Fine, once a month," Ravi negotiates, seeing as he doesn't mind the idea of doing it infrequently, but if this becomes a regular thing, then he's definitely going to have to have a conversation with Major about the expectations involved in this friendship.

One of them, most important, being 'don't kidnap the dog', but it seems like they're in agreement here. "Fine, no more blackmailing plots from Max Rager assholes," he says, on that point. "I think we can manage on that one."

[majorlyugh]

"Just to add to your already monthly ... err, troubles," Major can't help teasing. At least this is nothing more than accompanying his BEST FRIEND out into the wilderness as a literal sidekick. If they were available, Major'd even suggest Ravi take one of those motorized scooters so he didn't have to even walk. The request is more of an insurance policy than anything else: make sure Major doesn't go disappearing again, or, in the event that he does, let the others know, particularly Liv.

"So long as Vaughn doesn't show up here. Honestly, it's a hard tie between him and Blaine for who I hate the most."

[zomboligist]

"Why try and pick just one winner when they're both horrible human beings who don't deserve to live?" Ravi suggests, seeing as he might not know Vaughn the same way that Major does, but he'd heard enough stories and seen the outcome to understand how bad he was.

Douchebag pricks, the lot of them.

"It's a deal," he says, and reaches a hand out, like he really needs to shake on it.

[majorlyugh]

"The plus side? Vaughn at least met his end. Remember? That Max Rager party?" It seemed like ancient history with all that's happened since, and Major knows Ravi's from even further in the future. Still .. a weird concept. "I keep hoping Blaine will get his, but from the sound of it," he gestures to Ravi, "he keeps going somehow."

He considers Ravi's hand and, with a good-natured laugh, grips it with his own.

"Deal."

[zomboligist]

"Yeah, but that doesn't really matter here," Ravi points out, seeing as there's plenty of dead people lurking around. That's sort of the worst part, and if you've got someone like Blaine, he really doesn't know how to stay dead.

Arse.

He grips Major's hand for the shake, though, grateful that he's got allies. "C'mon," he encourages. "Eat the cheese buns before the brain wears off, will you?"

[majorlyugh]

"Cheese buns!" Major exclaims, as though he's just remembered they exist. With a wide, child-like grin, he grabs on and happily rips off a mouthful. He groans with happiness, very similar to the sounds he'd made when he'd had ice cream for the first time after going human again. His arms fall limp to his sides as they're overcome with the deliciousness of Ravi's homemade delicacies. "Perfect proving," he mumbles through a mouthful of bread, channeling his inner Mary Berry. "Perfect rise. Not too close-textured. Great bake."