what's ferret for 'bitch please'?

[zomboligist]

WHO: Ravi Chakrabarti
WHERE: Under a delicious tree (an evil, delicious tree)
WHEN: October 17th
OPEN TO: All!
WARNINGS: Ferrets, mischief, swearing

---

There is a ferret currently pawing at a sweater vest near one of the trees on the outskirts of town.

This isn't a sentence that Ravi would've ever assembled prior to this place, and yet, now it feels commonplace. If he weren't currently in a little ferret body, he might even feel compelled to squeak about how this place is awful. No. Wait, squeaking is for right now, which is what he's doing. It's all that bloody apple's fault for looking so green and perfect, and if someone's going to change you into a ferret after a few bites, he thinks he ought to be warned.

Of course, right now, maybe his priorities are a little off. First, there had been the immediate 'oh, fuck, I'm a ferret', and yet, after that, Ravi didn't think about switching back instantly. No, instead, he's far more concerned about the fact that he'd been wearing one of his best shirts and sweater vests and they're currently all in a pile where someone might step on them or, worse, might take them for their own. That won't do.

This is how there's come to be a tiny little angry Ravi-ferret pawing and clawing at the sweater vest to try and figure out a way to drag it with him back to his and Major's place. No opposable thumbs rule out hands, which means that teeth are next. That is, teeth are next until heavy footsteps and a looming shadow above him makes Ravi realize just how small he is and just how much he currently detests that stupid apple for making him like this.

What if it's permanent? What if he has rabies?

What if their dog eats him?

Letting out a panicked and angry squeak, Ravi clambers to protect his clothes ever the more, while simultaneously hiding behind one of his boots in case he ends up accidentally pelted by an over-eager kick.

Comments

[notsocommon]

"Hm, well, Major isn't unattractive," Helen conceded. "But what I find attractive and what the mainstream finds attractive are two very different things. I prefer men who can make me think, which you do, and those that make me laugh, which you certainly do."

He'd just been a ferret, after all. A little ego-building couldn't go amiss, could it?

[zomboligist]

"I also am attractive in my own way," Ravi feels compelled to point out, because as he's mentioned to Liv before, he's a tall doctor with a British accent and a handsome face. Most girls would've loved to bring him home, provided they had decent taste. "I'd like to also think that I make you laugh and not just at me, but then, I was a woodland creature just now."

"I notice you didn't choose to play out any old Cinderella fantasies, which is good. I'd be rubbish at making you a dress," he announces.

[notsocommon]

"I'm far past being a Cinderella," Helen pointed out. "I might look good for my age but I am not passing for a Disney princess."

She had left those days behind her long, long ago. "And yes, you make me laugh quite a lot. You're quite funny, Ravi, and I appreciate that."

[zomboligist]

"Well, in that case, thank you for bolstering my ego when I needed it," he says, because no matter how secure he feels most days, most days also don't involve him turning into a ferret by random chance. He reaches out to take her hand, kissing her knuckles before twining their arms together, as casual as you please. "Let's go find me a bath."