goodbye, my darling

[womanofvalue]

WHO: Peggy Carter
WHERE: Outside the fountain
WHEN: February 2nd, Evening
OPEN TO: OTA
WARNINGS: Ice Powers, Grief
STATUS: Open

---

It's been days of searching, to the point that even for a woman of Peggy's stubbornness, there are boundaries as to how much she can take and how long she can go denying the truth. She's searched every possible crevice the village will allow her, looking for bodies alive or dead, but it's becoming painfully clear that she's not going to find her friends because they're not here any longer. She'll miss Barnes and Natasha, of course she will, but that's not what hurts so badly.

Peggy's been at the fountain, her last resort. Perhaps whatever cruel joke this is will vanish and Steve will pop up again, like he's never been gone. She'd honestly thought that something might be going right in the universe again, if only to give her back the best man she'd ever met, but that's all gone too. Inhaling sharply, Peggy can't keep back the grief any longer. Her sobs are a choked sound that she muffles with the collar of her cloak, trying to brush away her tears.

Tears, unfortunately, that are crystallizing on her cheek. Reaching up, Peggy stares in confusion and wonder as she holds an icy teardrop on her fingertip. It ought to melt away with her body heat, but a quick touch to her skin proves that she's just as cold as the weather around her, something that shouldn't be possible by any means.

Swallowing another sound in her throat, Peggy finds herself sitting heavily on the edge of the fountain, not sure she has the energy to cope with this on top of everything. She's been accused of being an icy bitch before, but she'd never thought it would end up being so literal. "You'd laugh," she says aloud, not sure which departed friend she's speaking to now, whether it's Steve or Howard or Jarvis, "it serves me right. The one moment I need affection and compassion, this place drives ice into my heart to keep people at bay." Letting her head hang forward, any tears that come turn to ice nearly immediately, dropping to the ground like a miniature weather event right in front of her, but she can't make herself move just yet.

Steve is gone. He's gone again and she's not sure how to say goodbye so quickly, this time.

Comments

[notabirdcostume]

What could he say to this? It was easier to counsel soldiers, people dealing with PTSD and depression, because at the end of the day they weren't his friends. Peggy was important to him and while he wanted to cheer her up, he also knew it was good to let her cry and rage. She needed to do that too.

"I know," he said, because it's the only thing he can think to say at the moment. "And there isn't anything I can say that's going to make you feel better about it or change what's happened. But you got him a little longer again. He didn't have a choice here...though I have to admit you're kind of making me want to kick his ass when I see him again for upsetting you." Which probably wasn't even possible, Sam couldn't even outrun the guy, let alone try and kick his ass. Still, he was aiming for a smile or something positive from Peggy.

[womanofvalue]

"Don't do that, he's dramatic enough for all of us, no need to add to it," is Peggy's quiet retort, giving a huff of icy air as she tries to think about all the qualities that she so adores about him, but also the ones that always maddened her. "Sometimes, he could be such an idiot," she says, closing her eyes as she thinks of the other times he's made her mad. Key among them, obviously, had been going and supposedly dying on her, but there were other choice instances.

"Do you know he accused me of sleeping with Howard Stark?" she says, wondering if that little tidbit survived into the future.

[notabirdcostume]

Sam chuckled at that assessment, because it was certainly true. "All right, I won't," he replied, trying to be reassuring. He crossed his arms, glad for his coat but still wondering if sitting out here in the cold, on top of Peggy's ice powers, was the best idea. "Yeah...but what does that say about me that I keep following him into things," Sam pondered, though it was a question he asked himself a lot. Though, he also knew the answer. Steve was someone to trust, someone you could easily put your faith in and know that he would be there for you.

"No. Didn't mention that," Sam replied, raising an eyebrow because it was hard to picture Steve being so blunt about an accusation like that.

[womanofvalue]

"You can't help but follow him, it's part of who he is," Peggy says, knowing that all too well herself given the strings she'd pulled in order to help him rescue the 107th (with Howard's help, which had been the most awkward plane ride of her life). She smiles wryly. "Poor Steve," is what she says, pleased to be thinking about the less heartbreaking aspects of their lives.

"Howard, blatant flirt that he was, never turned it off, regardless of the fact that I never returned his affections. Steve thought that fondue was a code word for sex," she explains, "so when we were flying Steve to rescue his boys, Howard wouldn't shut up about fondue in Switzerland. I think Steve got the wrong impression." Unfortunately, that wouldn't be the last time someone thought her of being frequent in warming Howard's bed.

[notabirdcostume]

"Yeah. He never struck me as the kind of guy to understand things like that -- even if he probably has a lot of ladies fawning for him now," Sam observed. Steve kept things professional and it was easy for Sam to see the guy not understanding what flirting looked like. It was probably even worse now, since it was an entirely different era and flirting had changed in some ways since the 1940s.

He decided not to mention the little kiss Steve had shared with Sharon, but he remembered feeling pretty pleased that Steve had finally, finally made a move on someone. He'd certainly talked to Natasha about the slow pace at which Steve moved when it came to romance, but maybe there was a reason for it.

"Fondue is certainly a euphemism I haven't heard before--definitely a new one," he finally replied.

[womanofvalue]

"Unfortunately, he was also not the only one to presume that Howard and I had something going on," she says darkly, still tired and annoyed from Sousa, Thompson and who knows who else in the SSR assuming that he'd gone to Peggy for help because of what happened between the sheets. "Steve just bumbled far more awkwardly about it." She flexes her fingers a little, watching the ice of them, and gives a huff of laughter.

"I'm no better," she confesses. "I caught Steve kissing a private in the division. I was rife with jealousy and took the prime opportunity of firing a gun at Howard's new prototype shield. Several shots," she says casually. "As you do."