001 ✝ there's an angel with a hand on my head

[ottimismo]

WHO: Sonny Carisi
WHERE: The fountain and the inn
WHEN: 12/14
OPEN TO: Everyone
WARNINGS: Nooothing? Will update as needed.
STATUS: Open

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THE FOUNTAIN

At first, Sonny thinks he's dreaming.

There was a place their parents would take him and his sisters on vacation when they were little. As he got older, he learned that they were really just visiting his mother's family in Jersey, which really isn't much of a vacation at all when you live in New York. But they always got to swim in their auntie's pool while they were there, and Sonny would swim until his fingers were wrinkly and his eyes were red from the chlorine and his mother had to tell him three separate times that it was time for dinner.

He and his sisters got older. They did more sunbathing than swimming, and Sonny found he enjoyed helping his mom and aunt around the kitchen more than taking a dip in the pool.

Still, this reminds him of that, at first. The water's around him, warm to the touch, and it takes him a moment to realize he's not, in fact, dreaming, but that the burning in his lungs is real. He's drowning.

It's all instinct after that. The water presses around him, pushing him upwards, and Sonny kicks his feet, straining towards the lighter part of the water. He doesn't think about how he got in the water, or what body of water he could possibly be in. He only thinks about getting out, about breathing, about breaking the surface. And when he manages that, it's with a dramatic gasp of air, his lungs expanding painfully as he pulls in a much needed breath. One hand gropes blindly until he finds stone, gripping the edge of the fountain.

A fountain. He's in a fountain. He blinks water out of his eyes, pushing his sopping hair back with one hand. It occurs to him quite suddenly that the water wasn't warm, but that he was numb. It's sleeting, and it stabs at his exposed arms painfully. He's aware that there's a backpack strapped to his back, but more important, where the hell is he?

"Hello?" he calls out, and he can't even be bothered by how silly it feels.


THE INN

Eventually, he gets some answers, though not very many. And in the process of that, he manages his way to the inn, where he changes into dry clothes that are apparently his and sits down beside the fire to warm up. His hair's an unkempt mess and his bones still feel cold, his eyes tired. He's hungry, too. But he's too busy thinking for anything like food or sleep.

He tugs his backpack into his lap, digging through it a second time to review what's inside. Like maybe it'll hold more answers than it did before. This is what he does, though. Review, and review again, and again, until something looks different, until you notice something new.

After all, he is a cop.

Comments

[ottimismo]

"I think it's more comforting," Sonny says thoughtfully, even though Cougar didn't technically ask. They never have to, when Sonny's around. He'll talk anyway. "Being in a house of God. Seeing the cross and the altar and the candles. He's always listening, but it feels more official in His house, you know?"

And having a priest around, somebody who will help you communicate more efficiently with God, is the biggest comfort of all, he thinks. He's lost count of how many times his priest at home has talked him through difficult times, and helped him confess his sins. He can't do that for this church, but maybe somebody else will come along who can.

[thecatinahat]

"We could get a cross and an altar, but I'm not sure about candles," Cougar admits, because they need their candles to actually work and live a little more than they need them for religion. Even a devout Catholic, Cougar will admit that, too. "It will be good, having more voices in prayer."

Maybe he could even drag Jake along, at least once. It would be a miracle in itself, but he thinks Jake understands how important his faith is to him and would come, just to support him.

[ottimismo]

"Anything we can work with, man." Sonny sits back in his seat, feeling a little more comfortable than he had a little while before. Maybe it's because he's eaten and he's dry and warm now. Or maybe it's because he's sitting with someone who also sees religion as something important.

"After all, God doesn't care about all the material things. Just that we're still believing and praying."

[thecatinahat]

"Every day," Cougar says gravely, because he doesn't think that his soul will ever lighten until he's able to pray away all the little children in purgatory that he put on a helicopter, not to mention the innocent life that he had taken in Afghanistan. Weary, he gives Sonny a nod of his head. "Praying with others, even quietly, it will be good." Having somewhere to take off his hat and rest his weary heart will be even better, he knows.

Somehow, having an actual church to attend has always put him just that much more at ease.

[ottimismo]

"Every day," Sonny echoes, his voice soft. He doesn't have many sins to atone for himself. He does his best to live a righteous life — sometimes he handles a suspect a little too roughly (not that they don't have it coming), and maybe he swears too much at times. He's a good Catholic, and maybe that's the problem. It's hard to handle the harsh realities he sees in his line of work.

That's why he needs to go to church. That's why he has to pray.

"Hey," Sonny says, looking up again. "Thanks. For the food and for talking and everything. It means a lot."

[thecatinahat]

Cougar shrugs when he's offered the thanks. He doesn't mind cooking for people and when it turns out that those people have something in common with him (especially an interest he hadn't counted on so much agreement with), he finds himself appreciative.

"Make a church," he encourages, "it is more than enough payback for the eggs."

[ottimismo]

Truthfully, Sonny's used to being the one that does the cooking. He cooks for his sisters and he cooks for Amanda, and it's usually as a form of emotional support, too, offering them company and a break from whatever they happen to be dealing with. He misses them a lot, even if he hasn't been gone very long at all.

"I will," he promises, offering a bright smile. "It's not as useful as cooking or growing things or like, hunting. But it's something."