sixthiterationlogs | what does it mean when you drown in a dream

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what does it mean when you drown in a dream

WHO: Kate Kelly
WHERE: The Fountain
WHEN: 15th July
OPEN TO: OTA
WARNINGS: Potential panic attack
STATUS: Open

Kate wonders if her family has a touch of foresight. Ned predicted two deaths: Constable Lonigan, Justice Barry, both died as he said. She dreams of drowning and wonders. Wonders and then drinks, not that drinking helps her when she's already asleep and she opens her eyes underwater and thinks, Again?

There's light, which there isn't always, and a current that pushes her up, which never happens, and she kicks, kicks her way up.

(Is it her imagination or is she actually getting closer in this dream?)

There's weight on her back, pulling at her, digging into her shoulders, making it harder to move her arms. Her imagination or no, no, no, something always goes wrong, she always drowns and this is it, isn't it isn't it isn't it maybe she should just swallow water choke and wake up but that doesn't work she can't wake up she just has to kick and kick and kick and swim and oh God oh God she's actually drowning isn't she air air air air she needs air-

She reaches the surface, gasps, bobs back down, then kicks herself up again.

Air.

Coughing, spluttering, Kate swims over to the edge of the fountain. She takes a moment to haul herself over the edge, falls, but the fall isn't much. More of a roll until she hits the ground, struggles to all fours, all the while coughing up water fit to throw up.

She knows what she needs to it. Sit up, take stock. This isn't a dream, it's not. She needs to get her long, heavy hair out of the way to see, but she can't. All she can do is crouch, cough, and gasp in air.

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"I'm sober."

It's said with disbelief, faint but increasing in outage.

"I'm sober. I had an awful lot of bloody expensive whiskey, and it's all gone. Then someone tried to drown me, and you..."

She's not actually a spitting mad cat, she's not going to let loose like a pair of brawling possums in the night. Once, yes, but years have given her a bit more of a handle on her temper. A bit more of an ability to get something approaching dignity.

So it is that Kate gets to her feet, smoothly (mostly smoothly), and stares at him almost imperiously.

"If you've been trickin' me? I'm goin' t'use your privates as targets."

But she's on her feet. She's not falling apart. She's angry, now, but it's stitched her together some.

Edited 2016-07-21 23:13 (UTC)

"It wasn't me. I've been tricked as much as you," Raleigh assures her. "I've just been here long enough to know that I can't get out immediately and I want to offer you some help. That's all. I'll take you into town, get you settled at one of the houses or in the pub, and then I'll be off, okay?"

He hardly wanted to antagonize her more and Raleigh fears that's exactly what he's done. "Can you trust me for just a little while? That's all I'm asking."

Kate looks at him for a long moment, her dark eyes stone-hard and her normally generous mouth set into a line. Then she sighs and softens with the exhalation. She's still not happy, that is plain, and yet...

"I must beg your pardon, sir. I've been terribly ungracious when all you're tryin' to do is help.

So, yes. I can trust you that much. I'm Kate Kelly, too," she adds. It's both part of her apology - remembering something of her manners - and a test.

Does he know the name?

"It's nice to meet you, Kate," Raleigh says, offering a hand for her to shake if she wants. "My name's Raleigh Becket."

It's a name that some people in his world know but not as many as used to. There was a point in time when he and Yancy were rock stars, heroes, and that day is long past.

"I'm happy to give you as much of a hand as I can. I don't know that much about this place but I'll tell you what I do know."

Kate blinks, obviously taken aback. "That's... Very forward of you, Mr Becket. Miss Kelly, thank you. Or Miss Kate."

She didn't think Americans were that missing in manners. They had a reputation for being forward, yes, but that was among the British. Surely forward would sit with a colonial girl.

And yet not, apparently.

But she had previously apologised, and she's determined to try and keep that air of sharing. Regain it, make it a bit more useful. So as they start to walk out of the park, she asks questions.

"What are the basics of this place?"

"Sorry about that Ms. Kelly," Raleigh says, hoping to make amends. The last thing he'd wanted was to offend her and apparently he has so he wants to back off and see if there's anything he can do to repair it.

"Not a lot to tell you unfortunately. Everyone seems to come in through that fountain," Raleigh explains, "And the place itself seems to be locked in by a canyon wall. I haven't seen a way in or out other than that fountain and I'm not sure you can go back through it. I think it's one way."

She tries. She does. She might be something of a wild colonial girl, but she's got her manners when she sees fit to use them. Her Ma didn't raise them not to be polite - she just also let them be rude, be blunt and angry, when things call for it, too.

Kate doesn't like being angry for long periods of time, either. A hot flare, then calm down. That's her.

So she doesn't poke at why he thought her first name was acceptable. Not yet. It's too soon, speaks of harping on. Instead, she nods a thank you and moves on.

"We're trapped, then," Kate comments, and huffs with it. "You mentioned a town, though. What's that like?"

"It's pretty empty," Raleigh admits. "There's probably about two dozen of us, give or take, and the town looks like it's been abandoned for a long time. Ever been to one of those ghost towns after a mine runs dry? That's what it reminds me of."

Raleigh isn't terribly familiar with Australia but, to him, it seems like there's some overlap between that country and the old west. Maybe that's an accurate comparison.

"There's houses, though, so we've moved into them and started making them livable. I'm sure we can get one for you too."

She has, as it happens. The gold rush had been boom'n'bust, but that's also not counting drought, the ravages of fire. An area where the land proved just too hard, or the squatters took it away and never did anything with it. Empty homesteads.

"I know the feel of those places," Kate says, a little quietly. There's always something sad about them, something which makes her hands itch to clean and straighten and get a cook-fire going to change the air.

"...a whole house? Just for me?"

If she sounds amazed and incredulous, it's because she is. It's a warm incredulity, the kind with a giggle waiting in the wings from sheer amazement. It's not as if she's buying a house, she knows that.

But the idea of it, even living in one, is such a surreal one, she can't help but blink at him.

"There's not that many of us here," Raleigh admits. "So there's plenty of room for each of us to have our own house and still have some left over. Granted, they're not in the best condition, but it would be a place of your own."

Raleigh has come to enjoy the quiet of his little house and he thinks others have done the same; they've managed to make them somewhat habitable over the last few weeks and that's a vast improvement from day one.

"Don't you get lonely?"

She doesn't particularly mean to say that. There are other things to say, to ask. More practical concerns about living alone, or are there any women living together who wouldn't mind another arrived bedraggled from the fountain.

But she's feeling just off balance enough, still clinging a little to fast vanishing possibility that this is all a hideous dream, that she does ask.

She'd get lonely, she thinks. All by herself. A whole house.

She will get lonely, by the sounds of things.

"I've been lonely for a long time," Raleigh says. He's been lonely ever since he lost Yancy and there's nothing that will ever replace that. There was a similar spark when he got in a jaeger with Mako, a meeting of the minds, but it's still not the same as his brother.

Unless somehow, through some magic or science, that Yancy comes here, Raleigh doesn't think that he's ever going to be anything but lonely in some way.

"This place isn't any different in that regard."

"Well. I'm sorry for that, Mr Becket," Kate says, and for all her temper and previous unsheathed claws, this is genuine.

She's without her family: has been mostly without them for a couple years. But they are just a letter away. She can catch some trains. And there are friends in her show-troop, companions. She's not alone.

"I think a whole house would just make me feel... More alone. But people are different, I guess."

"It makes sense. If you get used to having others around, it can feel real cold and lonely if you're suddenly by yourself. It's not something I've had a lot of myself."

It had always just been him and Yancy, even in the Shatterdome surrounded by everyone else. Without Yancy, he'll always feel alone even if he's surrounded by other people.

"Well. The world has all sorts, I suppose," she says, a little brightly through not quite understand. "Lots of men end up takin' off into the bush, happy as a lark out there. But it's not for me."

Still, there are other directions to shift the conversation. Far, far more useful than philosophical comments about companionship.

"You've been the town looks all abandoned. Did they take their tools, supplies with them? When the previous residents left?"

"Some things are left," Raleigh says. "Kind of in shambles, like it's been a long time, but there's things to be used if you want to work at it. I've figured out a couple things in the time I've been here."

It requires effort, which isn't something that Raleigh is afraid of. He's always been a hard worker and this place draws that out of him more than most.

"There's always work for someone," Kate says, ruefully. Always. Even if it is for one's servants, except she knows her place in the world. Unless she married well enough to afford a maid, she will always be the servant, never the mistress.

If she went into service.

Which she has no intention of doing at this juncture.

"As long as there a pot and something to make fire, I'm sure I'll do just fine."

"Same with me, only it's more about fishing line and repairing roofs," Raleigh says. "I spent about five years up in Alaska doing construction before I came here. I never thought it would become a valuable life skill."

And yet, he's really only held back by the lack of tools, not the skill to do the repairs these houses need. Raleigh is glad that if he did have to waste some time on the Kaiju wall, he got something out of it he could use now.

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