sixthiterationlogs | A little too late, a little too much, a little bit left

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A little too late, a little too much, a little bit left

WHO: Jake Jensen
WHERE: Around the South villge
WHEN: Just before everyone takes ill
OPEN TO: All
WARNINGS: None noted yet.

There was something about the mining trip that had made Jake feel a lot better about himself and this place and how life is. He needed to feel useful again, something he hadn't thought he might find here without the technology he is used to. Now things were so much better.

Or so he thought.

He got home, started cleaning things up, and in the process knocked some black dust loose from his pack. Coughing and choking, he got things to clean it up, throw it all out and thinking nothing of it with all they had done in the mine and it was no big deal.

Right until he couldn't turn a doorknob in trying to leave the Inn. It took him three tries, the last with his sleeve pulled down over his hand and it finally opens. Then he goes down to the forge to see if there's anything he can help with. Trying to open the door, his hand passing through the door.

Jake shrieks, backing up. "Oh. My. God. Did I die? Am I ghost?"

He freaks out a tiny bit as it goes on, heading back for the Inn and his house, and finding himself walking through a wall with little resistance. Oh man, this is so bad and so not good, and he's kind of freaking out as it goes on before it wears off.

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The face is because Jake should know better, but he knows he can't tell Jake to know better, because then he'll just complain and honestly, would he love the man as much if he didn't get into these messes? Well, yes. But it might be just a bit more. He lets out a huff, but shakes his head. "Read notes," is what he says, stabbing the notepad with his pen as if to make a point.

He's going to make Jake memorize Cougar's little bestiary and notes on the plants if it's the last thing he does, just to avoid more instances like this.

He makes a face, leaning in once more to read over it. "Shadow dust? What even... I didn't inhale it there, and..." And he makes a face. "There was something black on my clothes and I just shook it out. Figured it was from when I blasted the rock and..."

And this isn't possible. Is it?

"I don't get how this is even a thing." He's petulant, whining a bit, and trying to hide that he's still really kind of scared. "I don't get how this place makes these things happen.'

If it's going to happen, then it's going to happen to Jake, is Cougar's opinion when it comes to batshit crazy things like this. Cougar wants to hit him and then hold him, and grab him in and shake him. He makes mental notes to do this later.

"Evolution," is his opinion, because some of the things that humanity does are wild and insane and shouldn't be possible, but are. So why not the same thing happening here? "Defense," he adds, because if he could do that, he would. "We need to track how long this lasts."

Which is a theory of his life they can both agree on. Jake knows it too. Even in a world of weird, the weird things will happen to him. He's not sure if it's reassuring or scary that isn't changed in this place.

"Defense makes sense," he says, because he's not buying he's evolving into this. "So, uhmmm, you want to know about those weird purple nuts you can find... Here?" Asked as he points at the map. "Ty and I tried it after his roommate told him about them. Not worth the hangover though."

Cougar's busy working to get the time on his device, marking when it seemed like this first started and then adding in when Jake seems to have gone fully intangible. He wants to know other things as well, but that means Jake needs to be willing to be a guinea pig.

"What weird purple nuts?" he asks, with the sound in his voice like a warning that Jake better tell him the full truth and be very honest. "What do they do?"

"Ty's roommate told him about these nuts that give people extra speed. Like car extra speed. So we figured it was worth checking them out," he admits, looking pretty damn sheepish all things considered. "We thought they might help in things like the mining trips and such, you know? If we did other ones."

Like how well this one turned out.

"It kicked my ass though after, even if it was cool. That night I kinda felt I was going to fall over exhausted and hurting, when I threw up? It was toying with those."

Yeah, they're probably both in trouble.

Jake is right. He's definitely in trouble and maybe he did this strategically knowing that Cougar couldn't hit him, but he really wants to shoot him with a beanie or something that will hurt him, but not damage him. Jake suddenly being intangible makes that impossible.

He gives him a sharp look that asks why he needs to keep touching and eating things that he shouldn't be, annoyed that he needs to be the sensible one, though not surprised. "Idiot," is all he says out loud, but Jake should know him well enough to get the rest of the gist.

"Hey!"

And much as he tries not to, he sounds hurt by that. He knows it wasn't smart, but he has his reasons, and he didn't just do it because.

"If we can traverse this place faster, imagine the things we can do for others. Imagine we can race to the far distances, rush as far as we can go and find out areas of this place that could help us. I've seen things when I was trying to find signs of you," he insists, talking to keep from feeling hurt and stupid for what he's done. Only because of the look Cougar gave him.

"We could do so much for those stuck here with us. Help them so we can maybe all survive this." Though he knows many haven't. They couldn't have. Not with the names he's been seeing. Even if they're not more than clones that can be replaced.

The look isn't going away. It's that dark look that says that he works with idiots. He sees the benefit, of course he does, but what does it matter if every time they use them, they feel sick and miserable? "We stay alive," he says firmly, because that had been the rule in Bolivia, that's the rule here.

They stay alive, and if that means keeping their heads down while they learn the situation, yes. These nuts or seeds, it's like Jake going out and buying drugs in Bolivia because maybe it would help them get Max. "We survive, then others survive."

And if Jake keeps making himself sick with those, he's not going to survive very long, because who knows what they're doing to his system?

"And I'm alive. Or so you tell me," he says, though his tones aren't as confident as they were before. "Besides, I know I live through this place. I'm there when Roque betrays us," he says, sounding almost petulant. And while it's typical of Jake to do stupid things, it might reveal some of what's behind this. Testing this place, and not coping with the pain of being too sensitive and yet not dealing with what has happened to them.

"It's not like I'm of use to anyone here anyway," he adds, folding his arms over his chest. "Everything I'm good at? Light years away from this place. So I have to find new things."

Normally, if Jake is sulking this much, Cougar would just kiss him to shut him up and get his brain to stop working so hard, but that's not an option. He's irritable with this shadow dust some more, because of what it's taking from him, and he hopes the springs will counteract it.

Only, then Jake goes and says a stupid thing. "You're important," is what he says firmly. "I need you." And he does, not just for what they're starting, but for everything else he does for Cougar. He keeps him balanced and sane, he translates, he interprets.

He's there. He's funny and kind and smart and he's what Cougar needs.

All the frustration and bluster and confusion kind of melts in that moment, staring at Cougar for a long time without saying anything. At length though, he nods and smiles. It's a tight smile but he manages it.

"Thank you," he murmurs, glancing down and back up at Cougar. "I don't know if you know how much I needed to hear that."

Because much as he's rushed into everything, this place stripped him of the one thing he knows he's good at. There's no tech, little he can scrape together, and others here who make him seem like a kindergartner with a chemistry set where everything is just plastic anyways. Hearing that though, that helps more than he realized until he heard it.

He's not sure how Jake doesn't already know this. Cougar's not exactly the easiest person to get along with, but Jake kept chiseling and making a space for himself in Cougar's life and his heart, made it so that he could go on missions in groups and not have to worry about talking.

It's how he's kept sane from night terrors and post-traumatic stress, how he doesn't always think about the explosion in the helicopter.

He gestures to the hot springs when they're close, giving Jake a look that implies he needs to strip instantly and get in there, to see if he's able to get his corporeal form back.

He knows he is there for Cougar, and it's appreciated. He hadn't been willing to lose Cougar, to not be his best friend, and thankfully Cougar had been accepting of that. At least in the long run. And he will always be there for him, as ong as he can.

"I just... I know we're here, and we're there for one another, but come on. You don't miss that there isn't a place to put yourself up with a rifle and do all you're best at?"

Even as he talks, he is stripping though, doing as Cougar said because he's too nervous and uncertain in all of this to argue. Not that he has any desire to argue.

"Now at least you have perches. They're talking watchtowers. I totally told Tony you would be so up for taking watches. But... all that I'm good at? There's none of that here. I can't even figure out where the source of the electricity is for the stove in the inn."

Cougar makes a mental note to take Jake to the bunker soon, just so he can see if Jake can play around with the systems there. He doubts that he can do what he used to at home, but it's not like Cougar's doing the same things.

He's not scouting for Clay, not eliminating targets. Why can't Jake adapt his skills, too?

"Bunker," he says, and even though Jake is stripping for functionality and not sex, Cougar tilts his head to the side to watch appreciatively, looking at all that's being revealed. "Training. Fighting."

He's done it, tried playing with those computers. Yet he aches to do so as well, to get out there and toy with them once more.

But that means having actual working fingers. Which right now he doesn't have. So, right, water.

"Sure. Yeah. Later," he says, nodding, knowing they both know why it won't work right now. "I know. I know there's things a soldier could do here. It's creepy things long run, but it's useful," he says with a sigh, moving to get into the spring. "You joining me?"

Cougar's already taking his clothes off, letting them fall into a pile before he carefully sets his hat on top of them, smirking and wishing he could do something with his foot under the water, but until Jake gets his body back, there's no fun times to be had.

Besides, there's technology that doesn't have to do with computers. "What about inventing?" he suggests. Jake's a genius and Cougar trusts him with plenty of things. Why does it have to be electronic?

He's glad that Cougar isn't just going to leave him there, because sadly he kind of expects him to. In only that he deserves it. At last by the lecture he's gotten.

Settling into the water, making a face. "How come I can feel water but I go through walls? That's weird," he says, but he only looks more glum at that question. "There's a guy here who is capable of making a fully self actuated AI. It learns. It interacts. It's fully human in all but body," he says, still marveling at this. "What could I even offer? I'm a hacker, Cougar. I'm just a really high tech Robin Hood."

Cougar doesn't think that's all Jake is, but then, he's always seen Jake sell himself short and it's not just with this, so he's not surprised. Stripping fully naked, he gets into the water and soaks in up to his shoulders, unblinking as he stares at Jake.

"Then hack our house. Tech. Anything," he says. "Do what you need to be happy."

"I did. With the nuts," he points out, making a face at the sky as he cants his head back, staring up at the sky. "And, I don't know, just trying to see what I can do for everyone," he admits. "I don't know how to not do things. I've been trying for so long."

And yet he knows. He's also ridden himself hard, forced himself to try and be everything for everyone. He never thought about a time where skills like hunting and being a lumberjack would be needed.

"I... I might do that. Try and figure out some things for it. Make our lives easier."

"So feed the nuts to other animals. Hack them," Cougar says sharply, an annoyed edge in his voice because there are ways to do this without harming himself and he just wants Jake to see them. He doesn't want to have to literally smack the sense into him, but he will.

He wants to be with Jake, but not this sulking version of him, not when he has so much to offer. "Nature has codes. People have codes. Learn to hack something new."

Jake winces at that tone though, drawing back against the edge of the hot spring. All he can hear in his head is Cougar reminding him at the costume party thing that Cougar himself was hard to live with. Obviously he hadn't counted on how hard it is caring about Jake, especially when he's as off kilter as this place leaves him.

He starts to open his mouth. To argue, to babble about why he's feeling so lost, and why this is hard for him. He doesn't think Cougar wants to hear that though. Not with that tone, with the frustration he's feeling towards the things Jake does. Instead he nods.

"It won't happen ag... I'll try and keep it from happening again." Because he hadn't done this intentionally. It was an accident because he'd been trying to help the village. His gaze is fixed on the water between them, wishing somehow whatever this is would just let him sink into the ground. His luck he'd solidify like that and die.

Cougar just wants to able to touch him. He watches Jake and wants him to be solid so that he can push forward and kiss him so he can show the other man why he cares so much. He doesn't want Jake to be unhappy, he's just not very good at showing it.

"Try. I'll try too," he offers, because this can't just all be on Jake. He needs to do his part and help, however he can. "It's for us. It's so you can be happy."

"I am happy," he says, frowning at Cougar. Which isn't entirely true, but he doesn't want Cougar thinking anything else. Like thinking he's unhappy with them together.

"What if I stay like this? I mean, that can't happen, can it?" He moves his hand though, and the water ripples. "That's real, isn't it?"

"We find a solution."

There's nothing other than that. If Cougar has to spend his time scouring the villages and the wilds until he has something to fix Jake, then that's what he's going to do. There's no other option. Hauling himself out of the water, he coaxes Jake to do the same, wondering if it will have healed so quick.

Best to give a good incentive. "Come touch me."

A little too late, a little too much, a little bit left

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