sixthiterationlogs | Weep, little lion man

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Weep, little lion man

WHO: Stephanie Brown
WHERE: House 48
WHEN: 8/28
OPEN TO: Vergil and Kat
WARNINGS: None

From the moment she recognized the older boy as Tim her instinct was to run. He hadn't seen her yet, and he didn't have to see her. Not now, not ever.

She ran long and hard until she reached the northern village. Her own house was too obvious, it was the first place anyone would look for her. Jason's was no good, because the two Robins would obviously talk to each other eventually. The only other place she might be safe for a time was Vergil and Kat's house. Nobody would think to look for her there.

Still half panicked she scaled the side of the house, jimmied a window open with one of her throwing knives and slipped inside. She'd never actually been here before, didn't know the layout, had no idea what room she slid into. All she knew was that she needed to get out of sight before she slid to the floor and buried her head in her hands.

What the hell was she going to do?

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Vergil usually was out and about this time of day, but after training with Danny a few hours, he had slipped back early and passed out on the couch. He didn't like naps but, sometimes it was had not to give in. Between his lack of drive and pushing his body past its normal level. The problem was. The window she jimmied was one of the few left unlocked but left closed it liked to slid down hard once it opened. So a loud pop would follow unless she let it down easy before she did so. The attic was an open plan with support beams. A bed was up there, and a few books, and clothes. It looked lived in but also orderly.

The wood of the floor below creaked as the halfling sat up rubbing his eyes. The fuck was that? He knew Kat was out with Steph or Circe or wherever she goes when shes alone. So he moved to where he figured the noise came from. That blasted upstairs window. Moving from the couch to the stairs he reached in the bathroom from the hall and snatched up his straight shaving razor before moving up the stairs. The door was one of those that gets pushed up and hits the floor. As he made his way into the attic with the blade he stopped and blinked ....seriously, what?

"...Kat's not home right now..." Was all he could think to say. He hadn't even tried to speak to her since the party.

So absorbed in her thoughts and dulled by adrenaline was she that Steph hardly even noticed the door to the attic opening. She glanced up several long seconds after the sound and remembered quite suddenly where she was.

"Oh, crap, sorry." Is that... a shaving razor in his hand? She's surprised he isn't better armed than that.

"This was stupid. It's not like anybody knows where I live, I just... panicked. I couldn't think where else to go."

Kat had been tidying up her room when she heard the loud clap of the widow upstairs. The attic was a large unfinished space but with a tilted awkward ceiling. To her knowledge, the window up there didn't stay open and so it had remained closed.

"Vergil?" She had seen him asleep on the couch when she'd first gotten home but hadn't wanted to wake him. Was it him? Kat heard Vergil's weight as he went up the stairs and decided that something was wrong.

She left the seeds she'd gotten from Circe on her nightstand and headed towards the narrow stairway.

"Are you alright?"

Why yes, yes it was a shaving blade. Its not like he can summon his blade anymore. In fact, that blade was folded and slipped into the back pocket of his pants as he lifted his hands again in that. 'I surrender' pose. He hated it, but she looked freaked out. Again, but as she spoke, and Kat spoke he blinked. Holding a finger up on one of those raised hands.

"Kat is home, I was wrong. Yes Katherine, all is well, come here please." He spoke stepping out of the way so she could come on into what was becoming his new room.

"As for you, Stephanie, there is a perfectly good door, and quite a few windows we never close due to the heat. So, pray tell what has you this panicked?" He's not great with people...but damnit he's trying. Kat's speeches are getting through lately, along with his fortune cookie of a new best friend.

Steph groaned and dropped her head on her knees. Back to the overwhelming anxiety.

“It’s just me, Kat,” she yells, hoping that facing the floor will make her voice carry properly. She huffed a sigh, scratched the back of her neck, just trying to buy herself time. This would sound completely absurd to Vergil, and probably anyone else over the age of 20.

Finally she picked up her head to address him.

“My boyfriend is here.”

Kat continued up the steps to find Vergil standing at the center of his room and Stephanie over by the window. They had spoken about personal space before this but maybe later Kat will let Stephanie know that the windows are open and the door is generally open and unlocked.

This is the first case of breaking in they've had and as far as Kat was concerned, Stephanie would always be welcome in their home.

"Stephanie? Are you alright?" She glanced at Vergil before stepping past him. "That's bad?" Kat was the last person to know about boyfriends since the last person she'd fallen for had erased her memory of the kiss...

Guess whose twenty two at least, and the mentioned asshole who stole kissy memories? This douche. Whose looking at her, waiting for more of an explanation. "Congratulations?" He spoke unsure. She didn't look happy, he looked back to Kat. The girls broken, fix her.

And so began the rant.

“I don’t know what he knows, or what he’ll figure out, and what if he hates me?” She gesticulated wildly as she continued, her expression growing more and more dismayed. “How can he not hate me? I started a freaking gang war, god only knows how many people died. I died! And if he doesn’t know, what? I just keep lying to him? How long can I keep that up? And if he hates me, he’ll tell other people and they’ll hate me, and honestly who can blame them? I hate me. Why couldn’t I have just stayed dead?”

At least for now she wasn’t crying, though (not that any of them knew it) if she were to be touched just now her friends would receive a very unpleasant and prolonged adrenaline spike.

Kat stepped forward and knelt in front of Stephanie, her palms out stretched like she was trying to calm a wild animal.

"Stephanie, breath. It'll be okay. We'll handle one question at a time. You don't have to do this alone. Okay? We're here." She spoke softly and included Vergil in her statement. Kat wasn't exactly giving him a choice in the matter.

"Uh...." Was all the smart one could say at first. Good, yes go fix her, Kat. So useful and helpful. He was so glad she didn't hate him. His eyes widened some. "Not to be discouraging, but I have never in my life been in a relationship, I am useless here... how about instead I make us some tea so you two can talk?" He asked, trying to help since last thing he wanted was bad advice. "Just for the record, what is his name?"

Steph heaved a few very hard breaths, trying to get herself under control. She dropped her face in her hands again. It helped her focus on her breathing.

"Tim," she answered miserably. She still wasn't fully in control of her faculties, and that meant dropping a great deal more information than she would under normal circumstances. She took another couple of deep breaths.

"God, I was really hoping this would never come up. I would have been totally fine with never seeing him again, homesick or not."

Kat hadn't been in a relationship either but she understood what it felt like to have feelings for someone and have no idea what they thought of you in return. It was stressful and she knew enough about Stephanie's situation to know that guilt weighs heavily on her shoulders.

"We'll figure it out." Kat held out her hand. "Come on. There are more comfortable places to sit and maybe we can figure out what to do."

"Yes, places besides where I sleep." He really didn't mean to sound like a dick right there, but well. It's Vergil. He moved over and started to offer a hand before Kat did, turning to let the girls have a moment. As he headed down the stairs to not only put the razor up but to move down to get some water going on the stove to give the girls a minute or so.

That level of grumpiness just seemed standard to Steph, so she didn't take it personally.

She looked at Kat's hand for a moment before accepting the help. She didn't know what they could possibly do to help her in this situation, but the time to think was incredibly valuable. Seeing Tim, her mind had gone totally blank. Now she could collect herself... and not get unintentionally stabbed for breaking into the house of someone as combat-ready as Vergil.

Kat wasn't sure what the could do either but the first thing that they needed to do was calm Stephanie down and think things through. It was possible that Tim would be happy to see her though Kat understood that it was more complicated than that.

"Let's go down stairs and sit on the couch." She gently lifted Stephanie to her feet, wrapping a arm around her if it seemed like it was okay. "We'll get Vergil to wait on us and we can work through this."

She paused, looking a little uncertain. "Do you think that he'd be happy to see that you aren't dead?" As complicated as her and Vergil's relationship was, she was happy to find him here and alive, even if she'd been annoyed at him at first.

Vergil left the attic door open for them, as he had headed down quickly. The water going as more kindling was fed into the wood range. He leaned against the counter waiting for the water to come to a boil. They already had some dried flowers that bad a lovely drink in half filling a jar so that was what he intended to seep for them. The goal was too give the girls time to talk without him looming over. After the party fiasco he figured it was best.

Steph leaned into her friend, appreciating as much contact as Kat was willing to give. She was anxious, a little embarrassed, dealing with her number one nonviolent fear in a house where apparently the best weapon available was a shaving razor. She'd take what she could get.

"I don't know," she started after a few moments of thought. The attic ladder took some focus anyway.

"I know that... nobody was looking for me." That knowledge alone was enough to leave her feeling desolate in the small hours of the night. She died alone, unmissed.

"If he knows I'm dead, then chances are he knows why. It might just complicate things. You can forgive someone who's dead for things you'd never take from someone still alive."

A memory came to her as they were reaching the living room that brought tears to her eyes.

"The last time we talked we argued. About just the thing that ended up getting me killed."

Kat wanted to counter Stephanie and ask how she'd know that if she was dead... but that didn't seem like a productive way to phrase what she really wanted to say. Perception and fact often deviated.

She discretely chewed at the inside of her cheek as they made their way down the narrow steps.

Kat slowly lowered Stephanie onto the couch before taking the seat at her side. "Stephanie. I know it's hard but you'll have to tell us more. Was he trying to stop you? If he did, then doesn't that mean he cares about your well-being?"

Vergil was totally eavesdropping but trying to pretend he wasn't. After all, all that separated the kitchen where he was waiting for the water, and the living room was the open dining room.

He wanted to tell Kat not to push, but Kat was better with people so, he wouldn't say anything yet. The water needed to boil faster.

She didn't have to tell them anything. But she trusted Kat, and they both had enough of the story that a few more details wouldn't make much difference. She wiped her eyes.

"What I did, the fighting, it was dangerous. He's been trying to stop me since day one. Not constantly, of course. If it'd been constant I would've drop-kicked him into the next state. But..." She trailed off for a moment, changing the subject slightly.

"He never thought I was good enough. Nobody did. And they were right."

It was true that pushing wouldn't do Stephanie any good but, at the same time, letting her ramble on and on while omitting important details wasn't really going to help either.

Stephanie had come to their home for a reason. It might have been for comfort but Kat knew that there were other places where Stephanie could have gone for that; like the roof of the inn. Stephanie was entirely the type of person who'd run away and sulk when faced with a difficult situation. That meant that she likely wanted help from herself or Vergil. Vergil, the most methodical minded in the village, was likely the person who Stephanie had wanted to see. Not that Kat had met everyone in the village but there were very few people who held themselves in a way that made it appear as if they always knew exactly what they were doing. Vergil was one of those people.

If that's what Stephanie wanted, then that required information and an eaves dropping Vergil.

If Kat was absolutely wrong and she had come here purely for comfort, then she'd likely come to the wrong place. Kat could offer some measure of comfort but not the kind that Stephanie would need for this kind of problem.

"Is that the only reason?" She mused softly, her voice kind and patient. "If it is, I'm not sure you'll be able to avoid him here."

Kat's gaze turned back towards Vergil, a question rising in those deep emerald green eyes. "Vergil." He was going to be incredibly peeved at her after this. "You could have avoided me when I first arrived. Stephanie doesn't know the whole story but she knows that things are complicated between us." Kat pressed her lips together and then posed the question that Vergil was going to hate. "Why didn't you avoid me? Why did you invite me to live with you after everything that had happened?"

It wasn't the same situation but it was close enough that the similarity might help. That and it wasn't focusing solely on Stephanie's situation which would likely make the other girl feel more relaxed.

She kept her hand in Stephanie's and remained sitting on the couch but she'd skillfully shifted the focus of the conversation.

Kat will have to find a way to apologize to Vergil about this later…

Vergil was also the last mofo anyone should seek when it came to matters of the heart. He didn't have a great amount of empathy, but he was pretty good at fake it till you make it... but what kind of advice would that be?

He's also very good at watching water boil. Someone get that boy a metal for watching water boil.

When she said his name he knew what was coming. Oh how he hated it to. He gave her a flat displeased look. But they needed each other, so he just leaned in the doorway as she spoke. "To be fair, you approached me first, and smacked me." He corrected. He leaned there a moment before he spoke again. "And in this world any pettiness from home doesn't matter. We need all the help we can get. And, Stephanie, whatever this guy did, is nothing compared to what I did to her. Tell her Kat. Go on." He stated as he turned back into the kitchen to set the tea to seep. Yes he's none to pleased.

She looked up at Vergil when Kat brought him into the conversation. She didn't really know their story at all, and hadn't particularly felt like prying. She liked Vergil well enough, but didn't trust him much at all.

She frowned when he told Kat to tell her.

"It's not what he did, it's what I did." They seemed to have this whole thing backwards.

Kat looked down at her hands. "I know. It isn't exactly the same but it's a rift and if Vergil and I can begin mending ours then maybe you can believe that you'll be able to also." It might take a lot of time, it might be hard but Kat wanted to be able to offer Stephanie what strength and hope she could.

"Vergil saved my life." This part she did tell Stephanie. "He needed me to help him and I accepted. We worked together for a long time after that but at the end, when we finally achieved our goal…" She paused; suddenly feel the weight of Vergil's presence in the kitchen. "He said I was worthless." Trash.

It was obvious by the tension in the room that it was a lot worse than that. "He didn't need me anymore." It had broken her heart and even now, repeating it in the lightest way she knew how, it hurt.

"It's not the same but it gives me hope." Facing your problems was the only way to really handle them.

Vergil poured the boiling water into three cups placing them on one of the serving wear and carried it out with both hands. He didn't spill anything luckily. The long tray placed on the table as he held Kat's cup to her. The other to Steph.

He didn't quiet know yet if or how he could say anything to justify what he did. "If you feel that way, then you should seek the man out, explain yourself. Or if not, then hide here as long as you wish. We have the spare room. If Kat approves."

He spoke to Steph then looked back at Kat a silent moment. "I did apologize here though. You are not worthless, you are a valuable friend and ally." Finally he moved and took a seat in his favorite chair with his own tea. Sorry kids, no sweeteners.

Steph turned away. He didn’t need me anymore. Isn’t that just what Batman did? Tossed her out on the street like six months of training meant nothing? She wrapped her hands around the hot mug, letting the smooth ceramic and almost-burning sensation ground her. She knew she was being a little hysterical here.

Talk of hiding made her flinch. It was a kind offer, really. It just reminded her how incredibly weak she was being.

“I’m not-“ but she was hiding, that was exactly what she was doing. She groaned and dropped her face in her hands again.

“I can’t hide from him forever. He’s a detective. Probably he already knows I’m here and is wondering why I haven’t come talk to him yet. I just- what do I even say? ‘Sorry I did the opposite of what you asked me repeatedly to do, set the city half-literally on fire and caused hundreds of deaths? I know I’m dead myself but it’s cool if you hate me?” It was very obviously not cool, as she began to cry again and harder. But that was precisely what she needed to do and she knew it.

“Why couldn’t I just stay dead like a normal person?”

Edited (Thumb hit send by mistake) 2018-09-22 00:17 (UTC)

Kat reached for her tea and drew comfort from the warmth seeping through her fingers. She hadn't really talked about her past with Vergil. It was private and raw in a way that made her a little uncomfortable. It was easier with Stephanie, who was a friend that she trusted, but still depressing. She wanted to put the past behind them and move on... but there was no erasing what already happened.

She nodded softly in response to Vergil's invatation. "You're always welcome here Stephanie." If she wanted to run and hide, she'd have a place to go that was at least safe.

Kat took a small sip of her drink keeping her focus on Stephanie. It wasn't that she was trying to ignore Vergil but she knew that her questioning uncertainty would show if their eyes met. "You can say all of that." Her expression softened. "If you were so close, I think he'd understand what you were trying to say."

Stephanie had a way of talking that was her own and anyone close to her would likely understand what she wasn't saying in between the jumbled questions and phrases.

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Weep, little lion man

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cw: suicidal ideation

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Im so sorry guys!

<3 cw: suicidal ideation

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