womanofvalue: (rear back)
womanofvalue ([personal profile] womanofvalue) wrote in [community profile] sixthiterationlogs2018-06-10 08:33 pm

(no subject)

WHO: Peggy Carter
WHERE: Peggy & Stella's Home
WHEN: June 10th Weekend
OPEN TO: Stella Gibson
WARNINGS: Adult content likely within

She's not sure what it is that broke the camel's back (so to speak), but one evening, Peggy returns back to her shared house with Stella feeling tense and tight, having seen a few couples in her daily rounds, and rather than feeling content for them, there's an envy within her that she thought she'd dealt with. It takes another day before Peggy realizes with a sharp pang that it's not a relationship that she's envious of. It's the ghost of touch that she's missing. It would be unladylike to admit how long it's been, but half a decade is a generous answer.

That is absolutely ridiculous, though she doesn't precisely know how to change that. She's hardly the sort of woman who would feel comfortable draping herself across some poor person's doorway to announce that she demands to be held (it sounds even more ridiculous when she puts it like that). Eventually, she concedes that she might be defeated in this respect.

She can take down a counter-spy organization, she can dismantle bombs, she can clock a man and interrogate Russian spies. Where she lacks experience is in this. Luckily, she lives with someone who's far better than this than she. Heading back home, Peggy knows this will likely be an awkward topic, but at the same time, it's been long enough.

"Stella, I'm home," Peggy calls out, shifting the food in her arms. "I've brought some berries and the dried meat from the latest batch."

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-13 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Sometimes it does help to just say things, honestly, which is what Stella was trying to get her to do. Unfortunately, while she's got it out in the open and that might help, it doesn't solve her problem.

"I think anyone who told you no would be missing out on someone extraordinary," she says, and it's a totally genuine compliment given with no ulterior motive at all other than trying to get Peggy to feel good about herself.

There's a pause, and — God, she really is going to ask this, because at this point she may as well. "Is it just men, then? That you're interested in." The question is casual, not like she's angling for a particular reaction. Which she's not, although depending on how Peggy answers — well, Stella shouldn't get ahead of herself.

She's always assumed the other woman is heterosexual, but it occurs to Stella one could assume the same thing about her if one didn't know any better. She doesn't exactly advertise her sexual orientation, and since she's been here she's only been with men.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-14 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
The answer surprises her slightly, though she carefully stifles that reaction. Well. She really ought to know not to make assumptions, shouldn't she?

"No, I'd imagine not." It probably says something about the time Stella's from that she even asked the question in the first place, and furthermore, that she's so unbothered by the idea. Certainly same-sex relations aren't entirely accepted in 2012, but it's a good deal more socially acceptable than in the postwar era.

Stella takes a deep breath now, not nervous so much as steeling herself to be rejected. She's been avoiding saying anything along these lines for a long time, conscious of the fact that overstepping any personal boundaries could ruin her friendship with Peggy, and that's exactly the last thing she wants. But now, knowing that Peggy is at least conscious of some degree of attraction to other women, she may as well say something.

"I asked because if you were interested, I was going to offer to help."

If Peggy wants her help, that is — if Peggy wants her, and therein lies the issue, really. There's something very personal and a little exposing about asking a close friend for something this intimate. Stella isn't going to be hurt if Peggy turns her down, at least not irreparably so — but there's a part of her, maybe slightly selfish, that hopes she'll at least think about it.
Edited (typos :|) 2018-06-14 02:13 (UTC)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-14 11:46 am (UTC)(link)
Stella can't help the sense of relief she feels at the sound of Peggy's acquiescence, her consent. She hasn't irretrievably fucked this up, and Peggy wants this, and Jesus Stella feels like she's wanted this herself for ages, she's just kept the desire so far buried beneath her self-control that she nearly forgot it.

It's nice to be able to let herself want this again. She smiles a little, and reaches for Peggy's hand, just to touch her. "Of course," she says, fully confident not only in her ability to do this without hurting the other woman, but to give her an experience she'll enjoy. Stella's skill in the bedroom is something she's quite proud of.

Her hand drifts up Peggy's arm, just touching her softly. They've touched before this, but not like this, with obvious intent in mind. The caress moves to the other woman's neck, then her face, fingertips brushing back strands of Peggy's hair, the touch gentle and confident.

"You deserve this," she tells her softly, and then leans in, without hesitating, to kiss her. Just a soft press of lips at first, almost chaste if not for the obvious desire in it.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-15 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
As Peggy leans into her, Stella slides her hand from her cheek around to the back of her neck; and as the other woman repositions herself to get further into Stella's personal space, Stella puts her other hand on the small of her back, just to encourage her to get exactly as close as she wants to. She's not shy about this in the least, and doesn't see any reason why she ought to be. She tilts her head to get a better angle on the kiss and oh, it's such a relief. Peggy's not the only one who's been feeling deprived of this. It's been a long while since the last time she was with anyone, and longer still than that since the last time she was with a woman, and she badly missed this.

Now she's sort of wondering why they didn't do this sooner. Stella gives a low, encouraging hum in the back of her throat, and kisses Peggy a little harder, daring a soft nip at her lower lip to gauge her reaction. She's savoring this and wanting more all at the same time, and has to remind herself they've no need to rush.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-15 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
They kiss like that for a long while, and when they finally have to break apart for oxygen Stella realizes she is in fact somewhat breathless. When was the last time anyone kissed her breathless? Fuck, this is fantastic.

She lingers close as she catches her breath, stroking her fingertips up along the length of Peggy's spine, just for the sake of touch. Stella gives a little laugh, just a soft, half-breathed sound of pleasure. Part of her wants to tell Peggy exactly how long she's thought about doing this — or, probably more accurately, how long she's been trying not to think about doing this — but that seems as if it would be too confessional.

She settles for another kiss instead, soft and brief. "I think," she says, "maybe we ought to think about going somewhere more comfortable."

Somehow, she doubts Peggy really wants to do this on the sofa. Stella wouldn't mind, but honestly, there's a reason beds are ideal for this sort of thing.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-15 11:41 am (UTC)(link)
Peggy's hair will be rather more in disarray when they're done, but Stella thinks that's a good sign. It'll mean they'll have done this right.

"Come on, then," she says, standing up when Peggy's given her room to do so and reaching for her hand, leading them to her own bedroom by default. She's thinking the same thing, that if they'd planned this she would have worn her good underwear — but oh well. As much as Stella would like to, she can't always plan for everything. She certainly didn't expect to be doing this when she got up this morning.

When they've reached the bedroom, a matter of a few steps from the living room, she leans back in to kiss Peggy — her neck, this time, starting from beneath the hinge of her jaw and kissing down to her throat, just for the sake of tasting her skin. Memorizing her in the event that they don't manage to do this again. Her hands seek out the edges of Peggy's shirt, sliding just beneath to stroke her bare skin. "May I?" she asks, and given the position of her hands and the way she tugs lightly on Peggy's top a moment later it's probably obvious what she means. She doesn't normally ask if it's all right to undress someone, but she thinks maybe Peggy would like to be asked. Stella's already a little impatient to have the clothing out of the way.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-15 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Peggy’s desire is an incredible turn-on, honestly, and the rough needy edge on her voice makes Stella’s pulse quicken. She doesn’t at all mind leading here, given she’s used to it; she urges the garment off over Peggy’s head, and then just stops for a moment to get a good look at her. It’s true there’s nothing here she hasn’t seen before, but the context of this is totally different.

She doesn’t say you’re beautiful out loud, because she thinks Peggy has probably heard that plenty of times, but her gaze is appreciative and her touch is soft and warm as she runs her hands up Peggy’s sides and leans in to kiss her again. Eventually her hand strokes downwards again, fingers toying with the waistband of the other woman’s trousers but not quite yet moving to take them off. She might be teasing, just a little.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-16 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
There's a surreal air to all of this that makes Stella, too, wonder if she's having an especially vivid erotic dream. Of course, she's not; this is real, insofar as anything that happens here is real. She just never imagined she'd be doing this with Peggy, of all people, who is a dear friend and someone she's admired for a long time. They're not going to fall headlong into a torrid romance, not least because neither of them is looking for that — but there is affection, and trust, and it's good.

"Do you always have to be prepared for everything?" she says, a bit archly, good-natured teasing as she pulls back a little, reluctant to lose the close contact but eager to keep going. The graze of Peggy's fingers on the back of her neck makes her shiver, gooseflesh prickling along her bare arms. "There's something to be said for a bit of spontaneity." This as she finally undoes the fastening on Peggy's trousers, and helps her to step out of them.

Going with the flow is how she put it to Reed Smith once. For a woman who has such a strong need to be in control in most of her daily life, Stella does like a bit of spontaneity to her sexual encounters — allowing her mood and the moment to dictate things rather than presuming things ought to go a certain way every time. It's certainly what's happening here, because neither of them planned for this at all and yet, here they are.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-16 03:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Stella's aware that, of the two of them, she's the one who has more experience in this particular arena on multiple levels — but she certainly doesn't expect Peggy to be passive. Far from it. There's something about a woman asking for what she wants in the bedroom that Stella's always found very, very attractive.

So the question is expected. Stella smiles a little, and goes to sit on the edge of the bed, holding out a hand in invitation.

"You could do something about that, you know." Meaning Peggy ought to return her the favor.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-17 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Stella is more than slightly disarmed by the brilliance of Peggy's smile, but she doesn't have time to be pleased with herself for being responsible for it before Peggy's kissing her. She kisses back, a hand rising to stroke the side of Peggy's neck, and there's no desperation in her kiss, but there is need. She's wanted this for a long time, and with more of the physical barriers of clothing out of the way, she's more willing to let herself show it a bit.

When the kiss breaks, she moves her arms to let Peggy take her top off, and again she's wishing she thought to wear one of her nice bras with the lace and satin that actually flatters her body — but it's okay, it doesn't matter, she won't be wearing it for much longer anyway and she's too distracted by Peggy taking her own bra off to think on it much.

Eyes dark with desire, she reaches up to draw Peggy down to sit next to her on the bed, her hand trailing from Peggy's neck down to the shape of her clavicle, then downward further to teasingly stroke the curve of her breast. Or maybe it's not teasing so much as it is just exploring. It's been ages since the last time she did this with another woman and she never really thought she'd be fortunate enough to do this with Peggy, specifically, so she thinks she can be excused for wanting to take her time.

And then she's reaching back to quickly unclasp her own bra, tossing it carelessly out of the way, partly to be fair and partly because she really wants the feel of skin on skin now — as evidenced when she pulls Peggy in to kiss her again, and gasps sharply against her mouth as they press together with nothing at all between them. She's still clothed below the waist, and Peggy's still got her knickers on, but even this much is a relief.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-18 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
Peggy's on top of her now, and for once Stella doesn't mind not being the one on top — not when this is so pleasant. She's breathing a little fast when the kiss breaks, and she knows how she probably looks: cheeks slightly flushed, fair hair pooled beneath her on the sheets, her mouth just as swollen and red from all the kissing they've been doing. She's not especially self-conscious about it; after all, it means they're doing this properly.

And actually, there is an advantage to having Peggy on top of her, in front of her — she has more freedom to touch, to run her hands up the other woman's back, dragging her nails lightly against the skin, just hard enough to be felt but not to leave marks. Stella almost laughs at the remark, because she thinks the I don't mean to rush things is probably hiding a good deal of impatience. She would be, were their positions reversed.

"That depends on you," she says. Stella sits up a little, just so she can kiss along Peggy's collarbone, dragging her teeth against the outline of her clavicle without quite biting down. Then lower, carefully, kissing the curve of her breast before pulling back to gaze up at Peggy under her lashes. She badly wants to do more, and she thinks it's sort of implied, but — well. Part of her likes being explicitly given permission.

"How much do you trust me?" Because at the root, Stella knows that's what all this is about, for Peggy anyway. She herself doesn't need to feel that degree of trust just to have sex with someone — but to be trusted is something else entirely.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-19 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
Stella certainly doesn't say it enough. She thinks it ought to be obvious by now, after all this time, that Peggy is possibly the only person in the village she wholeheartedly trusts. But maybe she could stand to say it more, because when she hears that from Peggy she has to stop for a moment just to look at her. Then there's a smile, slight but warm and genuine.

She thinks she must have forgot what this was like. It's not as if Stella doesn't have any friends at home; she does, even if it's a very short list. But Peggy is a touchstone for her in a way no one has been in a long time, and it warms her to know the sentiment is returned in full.

Stella doesn't answer that in words; she thinks Peggy already knows the answer anyway. She at least has to trust that Stella knows what she's doing, even if Peggy herself doesn't.

"Switch places with me," she suggests. "Lay back?" It's a request, not a demand of any kind, relax, let me make you feel good. Stella is really, really looking forward to this, and it might show in the anticipation and desire in her gaze.

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 2018-06-20 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
Stella would have got there soon enough, but watching Peggy strip off the very last of her layers — leaving herself willingly bare — elicits a shiver of anticipation and desire she has to fight to suppress. It reminds Stella she's still clothed below the waist herself, and maybe she should take off her trousers and her knickers just for the sake of playing fair.

She hesitates for about half a second, not really long enough that most people would notice although Peggy might, before her fingers go to the fastening and zip on her trousers and she strips them off along with her knickers in what looks like a single efficient motion. The joke distracts her from thinking about the marks on her thighs, whether Peggy will notice them, what she'll think of them. She has, after all, never seen Stella naked below the waist before.

"Oh, I think we would have managed," she says, with a flicker of a teasing smile. They'd probably have had to do this under the blankets, but they would have managed. She climbs on top of Peggy, looking confident and pleased with herself for being there. Stella ducks her head, brushing her lips across Peggy's in a soft, brief kiss, before her mouth travels lower — her collarbone, between her breasts, kissing the swell of one before taking a nipple into her mouth, sucking softly and then biting down gently, the way she'd wanted to do earlier. Her gaze darts up to Peggy's face to gauge her reaction; there's nothing tentative or hesitant about what she's doing, but as ever, she's conscious of the fact that it's been a long time since anyone's touched the other woman like this.

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-21 03:07 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-22 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-22 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-22 14:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-23 13:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-23 23:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-24 14:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-24 22:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-25 01:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-25 14:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-26 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-27 13:12 (UTC) - Expand

cw self-harm

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-28 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-29 01:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-29 15:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ex_assertiveness90 - 2018-06-30 03:13 (UTC) - Expand