i wear my heart on my shirt

[ethnobotany]

WHO: Beverly Crusher
WHERE: The Inn, her house, fountain square, the spring
WHEN: August 15-20
OPEN TO: every section is OTA
WARNINGS: Mentions of: death, terrorist attacks, being held hostage. She'll be having delirious flashbacks and I'll update warnings as needed based on threads.

---

August 15th is mostly a normal day for Beverly. The luncheon is nice, the only difference to her day. Otherwise, she spends the day at the hospital doing her duty or at her house, working in the garden or inside. It's while she's in the garden that she begins to notice how... off she feels. It isn't much at first, though she wobbles a bit when she tries to move and can often be found leaning over with her hands on her thighs and her eyes closed. Sometimes she's even very obviously leaning against the fence itself for support, and she isn't entirely sure she can manage to make it through.

Eventually, she manages to get back into the house. Just inside the door, she calls out, "Jean-Luc―" and falls to her knees on the floor.

The 16th hits her hard. Visitors may be welcome to stop by while she's sick, but she may or may not be lucid. During those lucid moments, she's chilled and feverish and very obviously ill, but she can at least hold a decent conversation. When she isn't lucid... less than pleasant may not accurately describe her condition. She paces when she can pull herself out of bed, and when Jean-Luc will allow her to. While stuck in bed, she rolls and tosses, not entirely aware of her surroundings, and can be heard mentioning something called the "Ansata" or "Cardassians" with a tone of distate mixed with fear. Someone lucky might even hear "Q" in a tone of quiet loathing. The unlucky may hear something else in a tone of cold and very real fear: "It's the Borg."

Early on the 17th, she starts escaping. It's never for long, but any time Jean-Luc needs to use the bathroom or make tea or food or check on her garden or even closes his eyes for half a second she takes the opportunity to flee. She's fast for someone who's as ill as she is. Clearly there's a lot of built-up energy inside her. Either that or she's literally running on empty and will drop to the ground in the next instant. Either way, she ends up in places like the Inn or fountain square. One time, she even makes it to the spring, where she ends up cooling herself off by swallowing a bit of it at some point. By the end of the day, she's back in bed.

For the 18th and 19th, she stays in bed for any visitors who might want to come by again, but this time Jean-Luc is stricter about her confinement. It's just as well, though she isn't in any frame of mind and hasn't the strength to escape again. By the 20th she has miraculously recovered and after lunch, she heads back to the Inn to see if she can find anyone who visited or might have heard that she was ill so she can reassure them that she's fine.

Comments

[thenewways]

"No," Nerys says gently, shaking her head, though it's becoming very obvious that Beverly is incredibly unwell, even before she gets a good look at her. "It's Nerys. Kira Nerys, from DS9, remember? Definitely not Q." She adds, with a faintly wry smile, "I'm much better-looking, after all," though the humor is pretty much certain to be lost on Beverly in her current state.

She offers a concerned, hopeful smile, brow furrowing, and crouches down next to the other woman in the grass, reaching out to offer a hand. "Dr. Crusher...Beverly...you need to be in bed. You're not well, and...yeah, I'm not a doctor like you, but even I can tell you probably need some sleep."

Mentally, Nerys is praying that Beverly's delusions don't get worse. The fact that she was moving so quickly before she completely collapsed does not bode well for a fight.

[ethnobotany]

The joke flies mostly over Beverly's head. She manages a soft huff that could easily be construed as a laugh, but it's accompanied by a confused look, so it's hard to tell what she really means. Beverly isn't even sure herself, but then again she's not sure of much right now.

"I've been sleeping a lot," she says, and that much is true at least. She thinks. She remembers being put into stasis because Worf spat some sort of... burning liquid into her face. Alyssa had said something about cryostasis. Or... something. Was it that?

"Are you sure Q isn't around? He could be responsible for..." For what? ...Barclay's Protomorphosis Syndrome? Wasn't that what they'd called it? "Except you don't look like you're evolving backwards."

This is making her head hurt. She definitely needs rest and something in her must recognize that Nerys is a friend. She reaches for that hand, almost as though she's a bit lost with everything and needs an anchor to help her find her way.

[thenewways]

In all honesty, Nerys is anything but fully versed in the misadventures of the Enterprise even in her present day--much less things that happened the better part of a decade ago, when she was far younger and too engaged in ruining Cardassians' days on a regular basis. She's read the Borg files, of course, or everything that's declassified to her level, and she's read about the Q situations (which weren't super useful after the fact, but did at least mean she felt better due to someone else having had the experience).

"You know, he might be, but I doubt it. He hasn't shown up at all here, and you know he likes to rub our faces in things," she says with a bit of cheer and bravado. It's not quite false, but she's definitely being careful with Beverly in her current state. Particularly when she stops making sense again. O'Brien might have mentioned something about turning into a lesser primate once, but the memory's a wisp that Nerys can't quite grasp.

"We're all okay, Beverly, everyone's stayed just the same. Could you at least come sit down in a chair with me, have some mint tea or something? Or that,uh, camo-meal, maybe, Mark said that's good for being sick."

[ethnobotany]

The Enterprise always has a good many misadventures, no matter which one it is. Kirk had enough to frustrate Temporal Investigations on a good day and his legacy means more debriefings for the rest of the officers following. Beverly isn't looking forward to her next one; she knows it's coming and she's fully expecting to have to fight a court martial. But she'll take it; she doesn't regret what she did.

She'll likely have to face another debriefing on this situation, too, and she's not at all looking forward to that.

Or wouldn't be if she could actually think straight. She frowns at Nerys' words. They're not false, to her memory, but there's some other problem. "Q has also been known to sit back until we figured something out. He's not always... in our faces with everything."

But Nerys' words about sitting and tea seem to get through to her. She nods, though she winces right after it. Her head hurts a bit more than she expected. "Chamomile would be good. Yes."

Honestly, any kind of tea would be good, and she would absolutely try to make it for them, but right now she can't even figure out heating the water. Doing anything else would likely not be a good idea. Nerys will find her easy enough to guide at the moment, so Beverly will end up wherever Nerys feels is best.

[thenewways]

Nerys hasn't thought for a while about the kind of nightmare debrief that would come with being rescued from this place--and if she thinks about it too long, she'll start to worry about how she's made life here normative--but when she did, it didn't exactly thrill her either.

"Well, if that's the case, Q must be pretty damn patient about me coming to my senses. It's been a while," she says with a wry smirk of self-deprecation. It's not escaping her that Beverly seems a little more coherent right now, at least, so she figures it's probably a good idea to keep her focused as much as possible. If she can move her now, without setting her off into another sprint, it's probably for the best for everybody.

She puts her arm gently around Beverly's shoulders and hauls her upwards as carefully as possible before guiding her back on the path towards the Inn. They manage to get through the door, and she then settles the older woman in one of the more comfortable chairs. "Wait here, I'll get some hot water," she says, and it's a firm enough statement that it's just shy of an order.

[ethnobotany]

Beverly will likely be the same, eventually. She's always found it easier than some people to set down roots simply because she attaches easier to people rather than one specific place.

She huffs out a laugh. Her mind wanders into the fact that Jean-Luc finally got pulled in, but her mouth won't quite form the words before Nerys has an arm around her shoulders. It takes all of her concentration to figure out what the hell Nerys is doing, but eventually Beverly manages to get her feet underneath her. Unfortunately, she needs the support as they walk, but at least the Inn is close. It might not be as homey as the house she's taken up in, but it's a good place to be all the same.

As Nerys settles her in a chair and gives her something of an order, Beverly gives her a mock salute. "Yes, sir!" she teases. For right now, she'll obey, feeling too tired to wander far even if she wanted to. So Nerys will find her sitting there in the same place, staring off into the distance at nothing at all, when she returns.

[thenewways]

While Nerys is...somewhat wary of touching Beverly, uncertain if whatever she has is contagious, she's willing to take the risk. They need to keep helping each other, for starters, and Beverly is a colleague and ally at home as well. (It's just that whatever this is seems pretty damn weird, for a sickness. And how do you react to 'damn weird'? She's not Bashir, after all.)

Besides, Beverly seems to need the help. It's as though all of her energy is expended, like a dilithium crystal after constant warp running.

Carefully, she carries the hot teapot and the mugs over to the table and sniffs the vapor from the pot to check doneness. After a moment more, while Beverly just seems to look eerily into the middle distance, Nerys pours the mugs.

"Careful," she says. "They'd just boiled this water, it's pretty hot."

[ethnobotany]

On the plus side, it's not the Polywater Intoxication sickness that infected the Enterprise, the Enterprise-D, and the Tsiolkovsky. That would be a whole lot worse than this, though at least nobody could get blown into space and the amount of actual damage people could do is limited. Beverly will be pretty grateful for that when she gets over this.

She snaps out of her non-thoughts when Nerys sets everything down on the table next to her. Beverly offers a smile.

"Thank you, Nerys," she says softly, willing to wait for the water to cool off a bit. "When I get my strength back a little more, I'll head back home." Right now, she's a bit tired and besides, she enjoys Nerys' company. Also tea. She enjoys tea, too.

[thenewways]

It seems like Beverly is back to lucidity, for the most part, which is both a relief and somewhat unnerving for Nerys. She can't think of any illnesses where mental state turns quite that quickly, but most of the diseases and conditions she's come into contact with in life have been brutally simple. Respiratory problems, septic infection, malnourishment. Those kinds of problems. Though she's not particularly good at fixing most of them.

"It's okay, Beverly," she says, sitting down and blowing gently across the top of her mug. "And I'll walk you home--just sit and rest, for now." She's not certain how much she should be questioning her colleague at the moment, all things considered, but she can't help but softly add, "So when did you start feeling, uh, unwell?"

Because if anyone would know, it'd be a doctor, surely.

[ethnobotany]

Beverly can't think of many illnesses that do this, either, other than the Polywater Intoxication and she really hopes this isn't the same as that. At least she doesn't have the possibility of getting blown out into space, but it's still not something she wants to consider.

"Two days ago," she answers after taking a few moments to think it through. "Gardening was harder than usual and when I got back inside, I collapsed in the doorway. Jean-Luc helped me to bed and it's been downhill since then. Yesterday and today feel the worst."

It's starting to scare her sometimes. She's losing actual chunks of time and doesn't seem to know where she is or whom she's speaking with. It's.... not how she wants to spend her time.

[thenewways]

Nerys notices that it takes Beverly a bit to come up with an answer, and mentally checks herself to make sure she doesn't overdo it. It also takes her a moment to realize who exactly 'Jean-Luc' is, as she's not accustomed to hearing Picard referred to by his given name. "That had to have been...scary," she admits. "People haven't gotten sick here very much...I mean, I'm sure you've noticed, being a doctor, sorry."

It's true. They've been pretty startlingly well, with most health problems being accidents or not-actually-accidents, or related to weather and seismic activity.

"Drinking plenty of fluids and resting can't hurt, though, right?" she says, considering it's the main medical advice she knows how to give.

[ethnobotany]

In a formal situation, Beverly would refer to the man as her captain, but here, where rank means nothing and they are more people than the Captain and his Chief Medical Officer, she always defaults to using his given name. It's as natural as breathing to her. He is her best friend and the man she has very complicated feelings for, after all.

"No, they haven't," she agrees. "It's like we have vaccines they give us before we come here, but somehow they've..." She pauses to think about what exactly she means. "I guess it's like something they can switch on and off. That's a scary thought."

The not-actually-accidents seem to be a better idea than the idea of time-delay vaccines or ones that can be toggled on and off.

"Right. That's always a good one." So she should probably go do that. If she can manage the walk.

[thenewways]

"It is," Nerys agrees, feeling something in her chest go cold and hard despite the warmth of the tea and the room, and the fact that it's not a cool day. The idea of being a medical experiment hadn't yet, for some reason, fully crossed her mind until now. Now that it has, it sits very poorly with her indeed. There was a camp she'd liberated on Bajor that--

Well, never mind. She hastily takes a sip of her drink.

"Here," she says. "Even if it's not up to you, you can at least try to feel better--I'm happy to help you get home, but finish your tea first, at least." It isn't entirely a comradely suggestion, to be honest--Nerys is fairly concerned that Beverly will lose lucidity and bolt off into the woods. Considering that she's personally had some interesting experiences with what's in there...the danger seems almost as acute as the rest of the illness.