cpl. jake jensen (
igotacrossbow) wrote in
sixthiterationlogs2017-07-21 10:44 am
Entry tags:
(no subject)
WHO: Jake Jensen
WHERE: Around the village
WHEN: Forward-dated to July 25
OPEN TO: OTA
WARNINGS: Grief, aborted panic attack
Cougar disappearing for a day or two isn't unusual. He's always been the lone-wolf type, prone to withdrawing into himself and doing whatever the hell he feels like despite what anyone else might say, and Jake is used to that. He's used to him climbing trees and staying there all day, to parking himself on the roof and refusing to come down, to skulking around the shadowed corners of rooms and refusing to speak in anything more than the occasional grunt.
His looming shadow, far-flung as it might occasionally be, has become a central point to Jake's life, the lodestone around which his consciousness revolves.
Cougar has been missing for nearly five days.
At first, he'd explained it away. Cougar was out hunting. Cougar was setting his traps. Cougar was exploring. Cougar was sulking. Cougar was lying somewhere in the canyon, injured so badly he couldn't come crawling home, slowly bleeding out into the pine-needle-covered forest floor, wondering why Jake hadn't come to rescue him.
He hasn't had a panic attack since before he joined the Army. He feels alarmingly close to one now.
Cougar isn't in the smithy, and he isn't in the store room, and he isn't down by the waterfront. He isn't in the mill, or the cellar of their house, or perched on top of the Inn. Jake is rapidly running out of places to look, and the panic that's been clawing at his throat has really started to get its claws into him, squeezing tighter and tighter. Cougar can't be gone. He can't. They didn't survive Afghanistan and Bolivia only to let this shit hole village to separate them. He's not allowed to leave.
Frantic, and hiding it very badly, he grabs the sleeve of the next person he passes, for the moment utterly oblivious and uncaring of the fact that he looks like a wild man and could very well frighten the next person he grabs.
"Tell me you've seen Cougar," he demands, eyes wide and bloodshot behind his glasses. "Do you know where he is?"
WHERE: Around the village
WHEN: Forward-dated to July 25
OPEN TO: OTA
WARNINGS: Grief, aborted panic attack
Cougar disappearing for a day or two isn't unusual. He's always been the lone-wolf type, prone to withdrawing into himself and doing whatever the hell he feels like despite what anyone else might say, and Jake is used to that. He's used to him climbing trees and staying there all day, to parking himself on the roof and refusing to come down, to skulking around the shadowed corners of rooms and refusing to speak in anything more than the occasional grunt.
His looming shadow, far-flung as it might occasionally be, has become a central point to Jake's life, the lodestone around which his consciousness revolves.
Cougar has been missing for nearly five days.
At first, he'd explained it away. Cougar was out hunting. Cougar was setting his traps. Cougar was exploring. Cougar was sulking. Cougar was lying somewhere in the canyon, injured so badly he couldn't come crawling home, slowly bleeding out into the pine-needle-covered forest floor, wondering why Jake hadn't come to rescue him.
He hasn't had a panic attack since before he joined the Army. He feels alarmingly close to one now.
Cougar isn't in the smithy, and he isn't in the store room, and he isn't down by the waterfront. He isn't in the mill, or the cellar of their house, or perched on top of the Inn. Jake is rapidly running out of places to look, and the panic that's been clawing at his throat has really started to get its claws into him, squeezing tighter and tighter. Cougar can't be gone. He can't. They didn't survive Afghanistan and Bolivia only to let this shit hole village to separate them. He's not allowed to leave.
Frantic, and hiding it very badly, he grabs the sleeve of the next person he passes, for the moment utterly oblivious and uncaring of the fact that he looks like a wild man and could very well frighten the next person he grabs.
"Tell me you've seen Cougar," he demands, eyes wide and bloodshot behind his glasses. "Do you know where he is?"

Random Street!
"I haven't..." The words fell flat, as if turning to ash before she could get them out.
She glanced down at Itiiti before looking back up at Jake. "You've looked everywhere?" She asked feeling the tension in her shoulders mount. Itiiti could sense the tension but didn't know it's source. He gently headbutted Moana's ankle and then Jake's as if to remind them both that he was there too.
"We can look for him... in the forest."
no subject
He can't bring himself to care enough to do anything about it, though.
"I've looked in the forest," he replies, eyes drifting off to glance towards the trees, ignoring her pig as he butts up against his ankles. "I've looked everywhere."
no subject
He was upsetting Moana but there was nothing to be done about it. She didn't want to think that Cougar was gone or that Jake was manically searching for him. It felt like a physical constriction in her chest, making it hard to breath.
"He can't be gone." She said finally, her tone sounding defeated. Jake was the closest to Cougar, if he couldn't find him... could anyone?
no subject
For all that they're supposedly highly-trained government soldiers, the Losers had become a little bit codependent, Jake and Cougar in particular.
Cougar wouldn't just fuck off like this. He's all Jake has. He wouldn't.
Would he?
"Have you seen Vee?" he asks abruptly, turning his head sharply to look back at her. "Sometimes she stays at Kira's, but I haven't seen her lately either..."
no subject
Jake's next question forced Moana out of her thoughts.
"Vee? I don't know who that is." Moana might have seen her around but she'd never met her and the name didn't make a face come to mind.
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"Veronica, sorry," he explains, letting go of her and talking half a step back, running a hand through his hair, probably making it looks ten times worse and not realizing. "About so tall," he continues, holding his hand out at approximately Veronica's height, "dark hair, kind of surly. She lives with us. She spends a lot of time with Kira but I haven't seen her lately and I haven't run into him yet."
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"Is she gone too..." She was still going to look for Cougar, with or without Jake's assistance but Moana honestly didn't think that he was here anymore. Not if Jake couldn't find him. She knew how close they were.
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Had he failed her too?
Abruptly, he lets out a loud string of Cantonese, swearing up a storm as he turns and kicks at a rock to let out some of the energy buzzing under his skin. It doesn't work very well, serving only to startle Moana's pig, but at least it's something for him to do. "Fuck!" he yells, then kicks at the rock again. "Fuck. Oh, fuck. What if he's dead, Moana? What if he's...dead..." He blanches, trailing off, though the thought is not a new one to him. What if Cougar is dead? What then?
no subject
"He's not dead." Her voice was very firm for someone as young as she is. "And neither is Vee." She didn't know the girl but it felt right using the shortened version of her name.
"What we do now is keep going and we'll find them. Maybe not here but I've gone home before and time doesn't always line up. There isn't anything stopping us from finding a way out to find them." Of course they didn't know how to do that but they couldn't do anything if they didn't keep moving forward.
no subject
Cougar's gone. He left. Maybe not of his own volition, but he left, and now Jake doesn't know what to do.
Clay would never separate the two of them, having learned his lesson on that front early on. Jake hasn't run a mission without Cougar's voice low and warm in his ear for nearly a decade. He's not sure he can start now.
"You don't know that," he replies finally.
no subject
She didn't know anything. It was something that Maui had said to her prior to coming back to the village. That had been months ago now but his words hadn't left her. She had her determination, her belief, and she didn't want to stop trying but there was no way for Moana to know what was in their future. "I only know if that I gave up now, nothing would get better."
She might not be able to fix anything but at least she'd go down saying that she tried.
Moana thought of her Grandmother, of the Heart of Te Fiti and of her island. There were so many people depending on her and while she sounded strong now, bit by bit it was crushing her.
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He drops Jake's hand once he realizes- it's a worried guy, it's not a threat. He's still breathing hard, though, the adrenaline pumping through his veins. "Jesus Christ, mate, don't just grab someone like that."
He will step back and give him some space. "What're you looking for? A cougar?"
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The fact he doesn't recognize him doesn't register. There are new people here all the time, and Jake has turned into something of a homebody over the past few months, letting Cougar be the one to go out and socialize and forge connections in this fucking shit hole of a village while he tries to keep the home fires burning without going insane.
"No, Cougar," he corrects, irritated. "Yea high, Mexican, wears a cowboy hat."
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"Right. Seen him around- he's gone? Just... missing?" He knows people leave sometimes. Jyn did. But there are a lot of other options for what could have happened- this place has dangers. "When's the last time you saw him? And where?"
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"Oi," she snaps at him. "Hasn't anyone ever told you not to go around grabbing strangers? You're lucky I didn't kick you," she says, with a pointed look downwards towards his private areas. In fact, she shouldn't rule that out so quickly, should she? Best to leave options on the table.
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"Have you seen Cougar?" he asks again, ignoring her scolding because it's not important in the grand scheme of things. She can be angry with him all she likes; he has to find out where the fuck Cougar is. "He left his hat at home. He takes it everywhere. I need to find him to give him his hat."
It's possible that the lack of sleep is starting to get to him.
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"I've never met your weird animal friend," Amy replies sharply, rubbing at her arm slightly, like it actually hurts. She eyes the hat, then the man, and softens slightly because she has a bad feeling she knows how this goes. "Are you sure he left it behind?" she asks, the grief from losing Rory still stuck in her throat.