sixthiterationlogs | she's waiting for superman to pick her up ( OPEN )

WHO: Hawke
WHERE: Dragon Age House + all over
WHEN: July 1st, a while after the earthquake
OPEN TO: ALL + closed starter for Fenris
WARNINGS: None for now, will update if needed

FENRIS

Natasha had wanted to stay for a while to look over some of those papers. What Hawke could gleam from them didn't make much sense, but Natasha seemed to think it was worth looking through just so they wouldn't lose anything. That made sense, given that the first papers they tried to take out of the pod disintegrated. So she did her best to look over a few of them, too, though her memory wasn't the best for things like this. Besides, Natasha was also right in that this scary metal thing would probably survive better than they would if the cave system fell apart around them.

What that would do to everything inside they couldn't say, but both of the women seemed more willing to take their chances here than outside.

Everything changes when Hawke finally steps outside to see the damage. Maybe those tremors they were feeling were worse than they'd thought. She pauses for a time just to take it in and for a moment, for one long moment, it's like standing on the edge of Kirkwall after that last talk with the Arishok. After Isabela had run off with the relic, after Hawke and Aveline had failed to talk down the Arishok and the order to attack Kirkwall came. It's like the final confrontation with Meredith. Just in that long, terrifying moment, Hawke feels the fear all over again, briefly paralyzed with the worry that the city, the town, might be gone for good or that all of the people might not survive. That her friends, her sister, might pay in blood for something she'd done.

It doesn't last and she snaps out of her thoughts, her gaze drawn immediately in the direction of her claimed house. "Fenris." Not that he can't take care of himself, but he's the one remaining piece of her life in Thedas. The most important part of her life here. "I'm going to help people," she tells Natasha, "but first I have to find Fenris."

And then she's off, tearing across the ground as quickly as she can. "Fenris!" she yells as she nears the house, praying to a Maker that might not be capable of listening that he's all right. "Fenris!"

OTA

Once she's sure that Fenris is okay and the house will survive, Hawke will take to the streets as she always does. A crisis is always a reason to be out and about. Hawke has never shied away from helping people in need and now is no different. If someone needs help getting somewhere or finding someone or getting dug out of rubble, she's there and she will help. It makes her miss her family mabari, though. Cailan would be vital in helping her sniff out people trapped or injured. But all she has is herself right now; that's always been good enough in Kirkwall, so she's determined to make it enough here.

"Are you all right?" she always asks whenever she runs into someone else out here. "Do you need anything? Are you looking for someone?"

In its own way, those simple questions are a cry, a plea, for the one thing Hawke has always wanted in her life: Let me help you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jacob shakes his head, because he's not hurt, he's not even bruised up. He'd ducked under a table as soon as the ground started shaking and hadn't come up for air until an hour had passed with no movement. It had seemed like the smart thing to do, truthfully, but now Jacob feels a little bit in shock. He's never been through an earthquake before in his life and he's not sure why it's made him feel so out of control.

Maybe because it's just another in the long line of things that happen here that he can't explain? Or maybe it's just that Jacob wants to go back to having a normal, boring life. Worse, what if the shock is because he just wants to do more and doesn't know where to start. "No, no, I'm fine," he insists, trying to make sure she doesn't fuss over him when he's okay. "Never been through an earthquake before, but I've been through some pretty heavy shelling."

And maybe, just maybe, that's it. Those old nightmares about the war that he's buried so deep, maybe the earth quaking below him like a shell hitting the trenches is enough to haul his history back around and make him think about lost friends, lost brothers.

Unfortunately for Jacob, Hawke's world doesn't have the same things. They have bombs, of a sort, but it's not the same and as far as she has heard, no one calls it by that term. Maybe they would if the Earth variety were more common, but it's mostly magical warfare these days. Or darkspawn. That kind of "shell" doesn't even enter into Hawke's thoughts.

And part of that might be because the only bomb she can remember being near was the one Anders set up in the chantry as she unknowingly distracted the Grand Cleric because she trusted him. The one that turned a place of worship and safety into a big gaping maw of magic and debris, breaking her heart into thousands of pieces along with it.

Luckily, she isn't even thinking about that yet, though it's probably only a matter of time.

Instead, she tilts her head a little bit at his reference. "What, did someone throw shells at you?" She wouldn't joke if she knew, but this is too far out of her understanding at the moment.

He frowns, trying to figure out if she's just teasing him or whether she actually means it. He'd figured out pretty quick after the war that some people just genuinely didn't know what happened over in Europe, so he never wanted to presume and think that they ought to have known. "I was in the war, in Europe," he says.

"We, both sides of us, had this heavy artillery that came down on you like the worst thunder you've ever heard, all while you're trapped in craters and trenches. Even on the back lines, you still heard it," he admits, trying to push through the memory.

"They called 'em shells."

The change in Hawke is almost immediate, the easy teasing look to her slipping off almost like water flowing down a slope. She can remember hearing the bomb go off, seeing the whole of the chantry turn red and then disappear entirely, vaporized by Maker knows what. Guilt swells up in her with the knowledge that her hand played a role in that, the blood of the clerics and whoever else was inside is on her hands no matter what anyone says, but she shoves it aside. The automatic joke that wells up to take its place feels like acid on her tongue and so, for once, she shoves that aside as well.

"We don't have that where I'm from. Magical bombs, apparently, but not that. And our wars aren't fought in trenches or craters. It's all face-to-face where you can easily see the person who's trying to kill you."

It's getting a little too close to actual feelings and emotions for her, so she tries to push past it all and find something else to focus on. Something that won't be as difficult to push through or bring with it the hint of some of her less pleasant past events.

"I don't know about a place called Europe, though. I'm from Thedas."

she's waiting for superman to pick her up ( OPEN )

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