It's not Cougar's fault that Jake has a very deeply internalized sense of low self esteem. Well, it sort of is his fault, as practically every time Jake has tried to score with anyone, anywhere, he's struck out because Cougar manages to turn on his nonverbal charm the moment he's making headway and whoever he's talking to immediately turns their attentions to his teammate.

Once, memorably, he'd managed to take a girl home, only to wake up in the middle of the night to find her trying to sneak into Cougar's room.

He never spoke about it again.

But this... Well, it's something of a vindication to hear that Cougar was doing it deliberately (maybe not with Megan, though), but that doesn't stop him from being irritated about it. What the fuck, Cougar. You don't do that to your bro, man, that's not cool. He'll yell at him about it later, though, right now he's busy.

"But Cougs, you're...you're straight..."