He adjusted the grip of their hands, palming the crystal to be safe but not a barrier between them; giving as much of he could of firm, warm support through the hold of his hand on hers. Hurting for her. Giving her pain all the attention and space it's probably never been allowed before to take.
Krennic is a name he knows from the files, but only now matches to the person: that was The Man in White. The man he'd shot off of Jyn's back as she faced him down. The man he'd held her back from killing.
He looks down at the crystal, gives a slight smile of thoughtfully processing her words. A frown takes over though…
He moves his other hand, protectively wrapping it around the crystal. The returns his gaze to their joint hands, travels up her arms to her face.
"I will. …I have to get something out of the way, first…?"
It felt like stealing the moment from her… but it was also possibly holding his end of the deal. Tell me something. A story for a story. One of mine for one of yours.
Waiting for a sign of assent from her, he took a slow breath.
"I was selfish to stop you," said Cassian. "On the citadel tower. I'm sorry. I… needed to keep you. With me. I knew I didn't have much time left—" didn't matter if the Death Star had arrived, he was injured internally from the shooting and the fall and the climb; even if Jyn had gotten him onto a ship, he was pretty sure he would have been dead before they reached med aid. "—and I wanted it to be with you. And if there was a chance you could get away, there was no time for…" He stopped himself, shook his head. "…no. It was more… I know you'd killed before. But I didn't know if you'd ever killed outside of battle. Someone who was helpless. Where it was… personal. Intimate. That's very different. —The way you were able to speak to the Council, and speak to me…" After Eadu… "I assumed not. There wasn't much time, but it was more… I just didn't want to lose who you were, as I'd known you. And doing that might have changed you."
He shakes his head slightly, not breaking their gaze. "But it wasn't my call." Repeating, "It was selfish. In the face of all he took from you. It wasn't to protect you. It wasn't judging right or wrong." As if he were in a position to do so for her. "It was all for me."
Maybe… maybe there had been an element of not wanting her to sacrifice her own last moments to revenge, either. But that could too easily be justification after the fact—especially knowing as he did now that the Death Star would fire and neither would get away—so he didn't say it.
no subject
Krennic is a name he knows from the files, but only now matches to the person: that was The Man in White. The man he'd shot off of Jyn's back as she faced him down. The man he'd held her back from killing.
He looks down at the crystal, gives a slight smile of thoughtfully processing her words. A frown takes over though…
He moves his other hand, protectively wrapping it around the crystal. The returns his gaze to their joint hands, travels up her arms to her face.
"I will. …I have to get something out of the way, first…?"
It felt like stealing the moment from her… but it was also possibly holding his end of the deal. Tell me something. A story for a story. One of mine for one of yours.
Waiting for a sign of assent from her, he took a slow breath.
"I was selfish to stop you," said Cassian. "On the citadel tower. I'm sorry. I… needed to keep you. With me. I knew I didn't have much time left—" didn't matter if the Death Star had arrived, he was injured internally from the shooting and the fall and the climb; even if Jyn had gotten him onto a ship, he was pretty sure he would have been dead before they reached med aid. "—and I wanted it to be with you. And if there was a chance you could get away, there was no time for…" He stopped himself, shook his head. "…no. It was more… I know you'd killed before. But I didn't know if you'd ever killed outside of battle. Someone who was helpless. Where it was… personal. Intimate. That's very different. —The way you were able to speak to the Council, and speak to me…" After Eadu… "I assumed not. There wasn't much time, but it was more… I just didn't want to lose who you were, as I'd known you. And doing that might have changed you."
He shakes his head slightly, not breaking their gaze. "But it wasn't my call." Repeating, "It was selfish. In the face of all he took from you. It wasn't to protect you. It wasn't judging right or wrong." As if he were in a position to do so for her. "It was all for me."
Maybe… maybe there had been an element of not wanting her to sacrifice her own last moments to revenge, either. But that could too easily be justification after the fact—especially knowing as he did now that the Death Star would fire and neither would get away—so he didn't say it.