Jyn's embarrassment is mostly - feeling idiotic, foolish for not knowing (or perhaps not realizing) to expect the trickle she'd felt coming down her thigh; what goes up ..
She feels like she should simply know more at this stage of her life. Despite not walking the path of what could ever be considered a normal life for a woman like Jyn Erso, she still had the habit of occasionally (rarely) measuring herself against the standard milestones of those around her. She feels ashamed that Cassian's now had to come and clean her of something she should've been able to have handled on her own. There's embarrassment at remembering that she'd thought it was blood, though there was no logical explanation for it to be.
And these feelings are hot, and raw, and exacerbated by the gnawing panic at the back of her mind. She'd known more women than she'd ever be able to count who'd lost the seedling inside of them - sometimes by accident, more often by choice and on purpose. She'd known women who'd gone to great, dangerous risks to expunge themselves of the clump of cells.
She always assumed she'd be one of them, if she ever found herself in their position.
Her world was not one made for children.
The sandstorm of thought and worry is blinding her, howling in her ears. She doesn't hear him speak right away, can't seem to make sense of his half-sentences and vague implications.
"No, I'm - Nothing's happened," she murmurs. She pauses, inhaling sharply before adding, "I don't know if - the implant came with me, through the fountain." Safe to assume it hadn't, if their technology was seemingly destroyed upon entry, she wonders.
no subject
She feels like she should simply know more at this stage of her life. Despite not walking the path of what could ever be considered a normal life for a woman like Jyn Erso, she still had the habit of occasionally (rarely) measuring herself against the standard milestones of those around her. She feels ashamed that Cassian's now had to come and clean her of something she should've been able to have handled on her own. There's embarrassment at remembering that she'd thought it was blood, though there was no logical explanation for it to be.
And these feelings are hot, and raw, and exacerbated by the gnawing panic at the back of her mind. She'd known more women than she'd ever be able to count who'd lost the seedling inside of them - sometimes by accident, more often by choice and on purpose. She'd known women who'd gone to great, dangerous risks to expunge themselves of the clump of cells.
She always assumed she'd be one of them, if she ever found herself in their position.
Her world was not one made for children.
The sandstorm of thought and worry is blinding her, howling in her ears. She doesn't hear him speak right away, can't seem to make sense of his half-sentences and vague implications.
"No, I'm - Nothing's happened," she murmurs. She pauses, inhaling sharply before adding, "I don't know if - the implant came with me, through the fountain." Safe to assume it hadn't, if their technology was seemingly destroyed upon entry, she wonders.