Jyn quietly takes the verbal beating, knowing that she brought it upon herself. Why did she find the need to question everything? Every kind word, or soft gaze, or helping hand? Why was the ability to trust so absent from her being?
She remembers the sound of her the blaster bolts from their guns, destined for her mother's body; the burning in her lungs as she made her way over mountain and valley to find the cave; the way she stopped learning the names of her fellow insurgents, knowing it'd be easier to exhale the loss like a breath. She remembers Codo, that night in the grotto, their naked bodies mingling in the tepid water, the look on his face when she refused his lips. The hurt in his eyes, the walls he began to construct to forever protect himself from girls like Jyn Erso. His silence, his refusal to let his eyes seek her out in the crowd, until Saw left her in a bunker with a blaster and food, and never came back.
Perhaps it isn't so strange, then, for Jyn to wait for the other face to appear, the one that takes and laughs as it leaves you a little bit emptier than before.
So instead of arguing or protesting, she brings the bread to her mouth and forces her teeth to sink into it, tear a piece of it off like an animal tears off flesh. Her jaw moves slowly, lethargically, but the taste of food on her tongue sends a spark through her body - waking her, slightly.
"What is there to catch here?" she asks, now switching off between the burning tea that's made her tongue go numb with its heat and the texture of doughy bread.
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She remembers the sound of her the blaster bolts from their guns, destined for her mother's body; the burning in her lungs as she made her way over mountain and valley to find the cave; the way she stopped learning the names of her fellow insurgents, knowing it'd be easier to exhale the loss like a breath. She remembers Codo, that night in the grotto, their naked bodies mingling in the tepid water, the look on his face when she refused his lips. The hurt in his eyes, the walls he began to construct to forever protect himself from girls like Jyn Erso. His silence, his refusal to let his eyes seek her out in the crowd, until Saw left her in a bunker with a blaster and food, and never came back.
Perhaps it isn't so strange, then, for Jyn to wait for the other face to appear, the one that takes and laughs as it leaves you a little bit emptier than before.
So instead of arguing or protesting, she brings the bread to her mouth and forces her teeth to sink into it, tear a piece of it off like an animal tears off flesh. Her jaw moves slowly, lethargically, but the taste of food on her tongue sends a spark through her body - waking her, slightly.
"What is there to catch here?" she asks, now switching off between the burning tea that's made her tongue go numb with its heat and the texture of doughy bread.