Listening to him, to the emotion underpinning the words, it's difficult to not be pulled in, to feel her own chest tightening at the inevitability of Cougar's story. The children died, she knows that. He had to watch them die, and Jake did, too, she's guessing. The shift back to talk of J.D. is like ice water thrown in her face.

She stares at Cougar a long moment, stunned.

Our love is God.

A breath stutters out of her and she shakes her head, tears brimming her eyes again. "I don't know. Maybe because I already had to watch him die once. Or maybe because I manage to wake up before I get that far." She swallows hard. "I shot him before he did it, before he killed himself. But it wasn't enough."