The issue with powers is not knowing how they work. Not knowing how they play out. Not understanding... just what you can do means you can get yourself into a strange place, doesn't it? Something pushes at him, at his mind, and he can't really explain how it happens, but he lets himself be open to it. Which means after a few seconds there he is, overwhelmed with the intensity of it. His heart about aches in his chest to get all of those impressions, because with them comes the certainty that this is what Billy feels. Feels about him.
He swallows hard as he tries to process all of it, and somehow he doesn't break the contact at the absolute intensity of seeing yourself through someone else's eyes. Through the lens of their heart. How does Billy not know how amazing he is? Can he not see it? It makes him want to lean in, to offer another kiss, wishing that could communicate just how this all made him feel. But that isn't okay, that isn't good, and so he doesn't. Instead... Instead feelings flow right back.
The hope Billy gives him, and how tight his chest feels whenever he sees Billy. How he hurt to see how broken Billy was on the mountain. Faith in what Billy can be, the strength he knows Billy is going to develop, with or without him. His own caring, loyalty, and yeah, a touch of desire. But... a different sort of desire for him. Not the fierce burn of brief lust like Nida normally has, but the more confusing, slowly burning ember of hope in his chest. A torch, so to speak, that he carries. And an awareness that it absolutely is selfish to want him like this. Selfish and yet he embraces it, because with all the rest comes an awareness that he actually never has felt like this before, and if nothing else, he's thankful to know he's capable of it.
It's a lot to share, and Nida twists his hand just enough to tangle their fingers together. He shouldn't, he knows it. And he also knows that at this moment, with this strange connection, he has to. And still his power boils in him, building up to that point to offer Billy all the confidence it has. Soon it will settle in. And he refuses, no matter how naked this leaves him before Billy and he's strangely not metaphorical about that, in a way it is a nakeness to share like this, to give him that confidence that he deserves to have.
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He swallows hard as he tries to process all of it, and somehow he doesn't break the contact at the absolute intensity of seeing yourself through someone else's eyes. Through the lens of their heart. How does Billy not know how amazing he is? Can he not see it? It makes him want to lean in, to offer another kiss, wishing that could communicate just how this all made him feel. But that isn't okay, that isn't good, and so he doesn't. Instead... Instead feelings flow right back.
The hope Billy gives him, and how tight his chest feels whenever he sees Billy. How he hurt to see how broken Billy was on the mountain. Faith in what Billy can be, the strength he knows Billy is going to develop, with or without him. His own caring, loyalty, and yeah, a touch of desire. But... a different sort of desire for him. Not the fierce burn of brief lust like Nida normally has, but the more confusing, slowly burning ember of hope in his chest. A torch, so to speak, that he carries. And an awareness that it absolutely is selfish to want him like this. Selfish and yet he embraces it, because with all the rest comes an awareness that he actually never has felt like this before, and if nothing else, he's thankful to know he's capable of it.
It's a lot to share, and Nida twists his hand just enough to tangle their fingers together. He shouldn't, he knows it. And he also knows that at this moment, with this strange connection, he has to. And still his power boils in him, building up to that point to offer Billy all the confidence it has. Soon it will settle in. And he refuses, no matter how naked this leaves him before Billy
and he's strangely not metaphorical about that, in a way it is a nakeness to share like this, to give him that confidence that he deserves to have.