He can roll his eyes all he wants as long as he does it, and Billy does feel better about it. See? Two birds, et cetera, Nida. Maybe it was your mistake, but that's a good lesson to learn--that you have people who worry about you, and you'll be nagged a lot less if you actually take care of yourself.
"It's not mothering," he protests, but there's a faint smile on his face as he says it. "It's just worrying about my friends, and my family. The people I care about. Like you, obviously." He looks back down at his hands for a moment, thinking about Nida's question. He hasn't forgotten the one he asked, and yes, he does notice you deflecting, Nida, but his answer is maybe part of that, too.
"I guess I've realized how selfish I've always been. Like, Tommy's been expecting me to just lock myself away in my room after everything that happened at the shrine, and then losing Wanda, and honestly? Six months ago, I would have. I mean, I have, before. Just...shut down, pushed everyone away, and locked myself in my room. I did it after we lost Cassie, and I did it after everything with Wanda the first time, and I would have done it after Teddy left me if I could have gone home without dying, or getting my parents killed. And it's so, so stupidly selfish. I get that, now." He pauses for a second, sighing, before shaking his head and combing fingers through hair that desperately needs a cut. No product today.
"It's kind of stupid that it's taken me this long to realize it, but I'm done doing that. I'm done hiding away from things that hurt, just because I can and people let me. And I'm definitely not going to hide over something as dumb as a breakup. Yeah, it hurt, but it is so literally not the end of the world. I'm still alive. And, I mean, there's other guys in the multiverse. Maybe one I'll be a better boyfriend to." Maybe one he wants to, but only once they're sure. Once he's sure he can do better, and not lapse back into a depressive fugue. He doesn't want to disappoint Nida. He deserves better. "So, I'm out here. I'm thinking about other people, instead. Like you." And here he reaches over, only hesitating briefly before laying a hand on Nida's shoulder.
"You know you can talk to me. About all of it. I'm not going to run away."
no subject
"It's not mothering," he protests, but there's a faint smile on his face as he says it. "It's just worrying about my friends, and my family. The people I care about. Like you, obviously." He looks back down at his hands for a moment, thinking about Nida's question. He hasn't forgotten the one he asked, and yes, he does notice you deflecting, Nida, but his answer is maybe part of that, too.
"I guess I've realized how selfish I've always been. Like, Tommy's been expecting me to just lock myself away in my room after everything that happened at the shrine, and then losing Wanda, and honestly? Six months ago, I would have. I mean, I have, before. Just...shut down, pushed everyone away, and locked myself in my room. I did it after we lost Cassie, and I did it after everything with Wanda the first time, and I would have done it after Teddy left me if I could have gone home without dying, or getting my parents killed. And it's so, so stupidly selfish. I get that, now." He pauses for a second, sighing, before shaking his head and combing fingers through hair that desperately needs a cut. No product today.
"It's kind of stupid that it's taken me this long to realize it, but I'm done doing that. I'm done hiding away from things that hurt, just because I can and people let me. And I'm definitely not going to hide over something as dumb as a breakup. Yeah, it hurt, but it is so literally not the end of the world. I'm still alive. And, I mean, there's other guys in the multiverse. Maybe one I'll be a better boyfriend to." Maybe one he wants to, but only once they're sure. Once he's sure he can do better, and not lapse back into a depressive fugue. He doesn't want to disappoint Nida. He deserves better. "So, I'm out here. I'm thinking about other people, instead. Like you." And here he reaches over, only hesitating briefly before laying a hand on Nida's shoulder.
"You know you can talk to me. About all of it. I'm not going to run away."