Okay, so, this is currently my day: I am sitting in the dining room of an inn in an Edwardian village that is possibly on another planet, fielding text messages from most of the people I know because they have been beamed onto a mountaintop and made to relive their most awful memories, while Leonardo da Vinci paces the floor in front of me.

Welcome to the new normal.

"Were there any animals in the North Village?" I ask him as I glance up, eyes calmly tracking him as he walks. "It might be easiest to get someone to just stay over there with them if there are."