Not knowing how to talk about something traumatic like this is understandable and far more acceptable than sheer stubbornness. Vanille went down that road once and it had not been good.
She nods at his quiet question, remembering everything. Serah and Lightning and Snow and Hope and Dajh. All of them were touched by the hand of a far crueler fate than most people could imagine. And Fang and Vanille had been the reason. Or, well, Vanille likes to blame herself fully for it all.
"Yeah. When Fang and I first woke up on Cocoon, after our crystal sleep, her brand was frozen and she couldn't remember anything about our Focus. Not what it was or what we'd done," Vanille explains sadly, ready to lay it all out for the first time here. "I didn't want to hurt anyone else, so I played dumb, pretended to have lost my memory, too. But Fang wanted to protect me from turning Cie'th. So we attacked the fal'Cie at Euride Gorge, thinking we could jump-start our memories. The fal'Cie reacted the only way that it could and it branded the first non-l'Cie person it saw, a little boy named Dajh, who was with his father on a visit. He couldn't have been more than five years old, but now he's a l'Cie. He's a Sanctum l'Cie, so at least he's considered a protector of Cocoon and not a hated enemy like the rest of us."
If there was one good thing about all of that, it was the fact that Dajh was branded a Sanctum l'Cie. He was treated with "honor" rather than revulsion. That still didn't make his fate any easier to bear.
"For a while, I didn't know that Dajh was Sazh's son. When I found out... I tried to tell him, but I just couldn't. So one of the military people told him for me, after Dajh turned to crystal right in front of us. The despair in his eyes..." She breaks off again, trying to hold back her tears at the memories. "Lightning's sister Serah was branded because of us and she didn't find out until later, too. The Purge of the city of Bodhum was because the vestige with the Pulse fal'Cie Anima opened when Fang and I woke up. But most of all... I was lying to Fang about our Focus for so long that she finally pulled it out of me. The one person I should never have been lying to." Bravely, she looks back up at Seifer with tears and determination in her eyes. "I just wanted you to know that it's okay to talk about things. You've been through a lot, too. I can tell it isn't an easy right and wrong thing, a lot like being a l'Cie. So... I'll be here, if you ever want to get it off your chest."
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She nods at his quiet question, remembering everything. Serah and Lightning and Snow and Hope and Dajh. All of them were touched by the hand of a far crueler fate than most people could imagine. And Fang and Vanille had been the reason. Or, well, Vanille likes to blame herself fully for it all.
"Yeah. When Fang and I first woke up on Cocoon, after our crystal sleep, her brand was frozen and she couldn't remember anything about our Focus. Not what it was or what we'd done," Vanille explains sadly, ready to lay it all out for the first time here. "I didn't want to hurt anyone else, so I played dumb, pretended to have lost my memory, too. But Fang wanted to protect me from turning Cie'th. So we attacked the fal'Cie at Euride Gorge, thinking we could jump-start our memories. The fal'Cie reacted the only way that it could and it branded the first non-l'Cie person it saw, a little boy named Dajh, who was with his father on a visit. He couldn't have been more than five years old, but now he's a l'Cie. He's a Sanctum l'Cie, so at least he's considered a protector of Cocoon and not a hated enemy like the rest of us."
If there was one good thing about all of that, it was the fact that Dajh was branded a Sanctum l'Cie. He was treated with "honor" rather than revulsion. That still didn't make his fate any easier to bear.
"For a while, I didn't know that Dajh was Sazh's son. When I found out... I tried to tell him, but I just couldn't. So one of the military people told him for me, after Dajh turned to crystal right in front of us. The despair in his eyes..." She breaks off again, trying to hold back her tears at the memories. "Lightning's sister Serah was branded because of us and she didn't find out until later, too. The Purge of the city of Bodhum was because the vestige with the Pulse fal'Cie Anima opened when Fang and I woke up. But most of all... I was lying to Fang about our Focus for so long that she finally pulled it out of me. The one person I should never have been lying to." Bravely, she looks back up at Seifer with tears and determination in her eyes. "I just wanted you to know that it's okay to talk about things. You've been through a lot, too. I can tell it isn't an easy right and wrong thing, a lot like being a l'Cie. So... I'll be here, if you ever want to get it off your chest."