His thumb grazed over Takashi's shoulder, reassuring without words. But then he exhaled, shaking his head as he considered the question posed to him. "I am..."
The words trailed away. There was much he could say, he supposed. Much he could say to that question. But he found little of it he wanted to say, even to Takashi. Yet...
Yet.
"I am... reminded of many things," Altaïr murmured at last. "My own behaviour after those deaths. What I became. How I shamed what was left of my family. How I learned more about myself than, at the time, I wished to know."
Slowly, his gaze wandered upward, anywhere but toward those around him. "Currently, I am ashamed of being glad for the distraction of travel, and that my story was not the only one told. I should not find relief in such a thing, another's sorrow taking attention from mine, and yet I do. Proof that I am not yet the man I had thought myself to be. And with each thought, all I do is add to my own confusion."
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The words trailed away. There was much he could say, he supposed. Much he could say to that question. But he found little of it he wanted to say, even to Takashi. Yet...
Yet.
"I am... reminded of many things," Altaïr murmured at last. "My own behaviour after those deaths. What I became. How I shamed what was left of my family. How I learned more about myself than, at the time, I wished to know."
Slowly, his gaze wandered upward, anywhere but toward those around him. "Currently, I am ashamed of being glad for the distraction of travel, and that my story was not the only one told. I should not find relief in such a thing, another's sorrow taking attention from mine, and yet I do. Proof that I am not yet the man I had thought myself to be. And with each thought, all I do is add to my own confusion."