Clearly Edea had considered it. She had created SeeD after all. But then again, Nida's favorite swear words figured in here. Fucking stable time loops. That didn't, though, change the fact that he knew what he was, and how he is trying to be. What gest to him is that she doesn't look at him in disgust at first. Just... listens and there's the comforting. That he didn't ask for.

Except he had, he really had. Needed it. Rinoa had far more faith in him than he even remotely deserved.

"Don't blame Cid and Edea. It's not all them. NORG, trust me. That figures in to no small degree."

But 'it's how you were raised' hardly seems like a fair defense. Yes sir, I killed my best friend. But I was raised to obey.

"I got to have this wonderful mental image throughout this week of him dead by my hands. Which is a lot worse given I've seriously injured sparring partners before. And it's Billy."

Which makes it different. Makes it worse. Because those sparring partners were just that. And Billy was... well, better than him at the very least.