Oh she gets it now. Does killing bother her? No, not at all. Hawke is well aware that she's not supposed to talk about killing people so easily, because it makes her come off as a psychopath, but she has many times just said 'who do I have to kill to solve this problem' out loud. Uh oh. She also comes from a place where it'd be stranger not to see things that way, so she's been adjusting her mentality with that in mind. She tries to think and see it from that angle.
She decides to go with stark honesty. "I used to think it would be nice if my siblings didn't have to kill or fear death all the time, but it didn't turn out that way. My brother died in front of me when he was still a teenager, beaten to death, protecting our mother. I wasn't fast enough to save him." Carver. So bold and mouthy and died in a horrible, brutal fashion.
"My mother was murdered by a serial killer who cut her into pieces and built a monstrous creature made out of her and a few other women because they resembled his dead wife. He made me fight her. I wasn't fast enough to save her either." That one hurt a little more, as it still stews in her memory. That sort of failure can fracture a mind let alone a heart.
"My ex-lover blew up the chantry, a religious organization in our city, killing people to set off a civil war that partially destroyed my city. I don't know the number of deaths that resulted in, but it rippled throughout the nation. I wasn't able to stop him." This one really and truly stung, her most grievous of mistakes and failures. Hawke thought about it every single day. What could she have done? Everything, honestly. Everything.
"Anyway," she says, snapping back to focus on him. "I have it in me because that's only three examples of the type of violence I lived with every day, before I died saving others. I know it must sound terrible, and it is. It really is. But second chances are the types of things people get in a civilized society."
no subject
She decides to go with stark honesty. "I used to think it would be nice if my siblings didn't have to kill or fear death all the time, but it didn't turn out that way. My brother died in front of me when he was still a teenager, beaten to death, protecting our mother. I wasn't fast enough to save him." Carver. So bold and mouthy and died in a horrible, brutal fashion.
"My mother was murdered by a serial killer who cut her into pieces and built a monstrous creature made out of her and a few other women because they resembled his dead wife. He made me fight her. I wasn't fast enough to save her either." That one hurt a little more, as it still stews in her memory. That sort of failure can fracture a mind let alone a heart.
"My ex-lover blew up the chantry, a religious organization in our city, killing people to set off a civil war that partially destroyed my city. I don't know the number of deaths that resulted in, but it rippled throughout the nation. I wasn't able to stop him." This one really and truly stung, her most grievous of mistakes and failures. Hawke thought about it every single day. What could she have done? Everything, honestly. Everything.
"Anyway," she says, snapping back to focus on him. "I have it in me because that's only three examples of the type of violence I lived with every day, before I died saving others. I know it must sound terrible, and it is. It really is. But second chances are the types of things people get in a civilized society."