He never remembers being like this with anyone else. Not ever. He can't help but think that it's because of the moments being shared with a man, but he knows it's more than that. It's that it's this man. It's Vasquez, who has meant more to Joshua in the short time he's known him than anyone else in his life.

"I was thinking you're a wicked man who just wants to see me whimper," he admits, gaining back a bit more of his smile. Not assuming, not knowing how to pressure in this circumstance and yet knowing even before that kiss how much he wants this.

His hands twist, tightening in the fabric of Vasquez's shirt. "I want this. You. I knew even before. I knew when you got sick," he admits. "When I got scared you were gonna die? I knew then." And he's admitting to more than sex, though right now his mind is really caught up in what Vasquez is offering, but he needed to say that before things went further.