"It doesn't change that back home I failed." And he keeps getting smacked in the face with proof of it. Couldn't protect Peter, couldn't protect Pepper, couldn't keep the Time Stone out of Thanos' hand, can't work out how his survival is fucking imperitive for some fucking reason, so much so that it's part of the only path to victory that he's got no fucking guideline for but those thoughts keep him up at night often enough that they don't sting quite so much anymore.

This?

This is a new cut along an old fear. When Obie road off after her, when Vanko tried to bomb her, when Killian shot her up with his incomplete bullshit chemical treatment, when she slipped through his fingers-

When she was smart enough to walk away but not enough, god, not near enough to stay away.

Silver linings: it didn't look painful. It seemed instantaneous enough for everyone but Peter.

Yeah, no, focusing on those? Not helping. He clutches the ring in his fist, grinding his knuckles against his forehead as he tries to breathe through the ache in his chest that for once has nothing to do with his fucked up torso. "Maybe. Maybe-"

But did it matter?