"Why wouldn't I? You've got a great ass," he says, not even willing to deny that, and seeing no reason to. No matter what becomes of Vasquez and his love life, he's still the first person Bobo could call a friend, and that's all that matters to him.

He spread his arms, hands out, definitely not arguing with that. "Then find out if that's what he wants. I mean, you could write him a letter and ask him if he likes you, put a little box for yes and one for no," he says, trying to be serious but failing. "Okay, that is way beyond your time, isn't it?"