Which is why I said you're not that kind of manipulative. Romanoff would be, but aside from yanking me around during Palladium poisoning, she hadn't really bothered. But that's where I'm coming from here. [ Open, transparent communication. Bruce better be fucking ecstatic, wherever he is, that Tony is biting back every bitter thought (because not fucking helpful) and trying to listen. Trying to actively pay attention since he's misread the situation so badly it's no fucking wonder they ended up like this. ] Before...nine times out of ten. If someone cozied up to me, befriended me, dropped me like a rock and bounced? It's because they got what they wanted out of me and I was no longer useful. My entire life it's been like that.
Putting you and the rest of your crew in that category made it easier to sleep at night. Pattern established and maintained, the outlier that was having what I thought to be a group of friends, of people I could trust- which I don't hand out easily but I fucking did for every last one of you despite decades of experience screaming at me that it was a shit idea- finally proven to fall in line with the rest of the equation. You say you wanted friends, you say you wanted me to like you-
[ His shoulders drop, a twisted, sharp crackle of laughter wrenching free of him as he holds his arms wide, head cocked to the side. ] I thought we were.
I thought we were. I thought we had a solid foundation under us, I thought you trusted me, I knew I trusted you. Not because of the shield, not because of the uniform but because of you. The same reason that the kids left with you in the divorce, because they trusted you more than, clearly, they trusted me. And that's fine- honestly? It's probably for the best since you're in a very familiar hole and digging yourself out by yourself is in-fucking-possible. But, Steve? I genuinely thought we were friends.
Why do you think I was so pissed you didn't tell me anything? This- this mess here- [ He gestures between them. ] Has fuck and all to do with the accords, fuck and all to do with Bucky directly. I thought we were good. I thought we were solid, maybe not as close as me and Rhodey but- you and Bruce? Same level. And then you yank the carpet out from under me over and over-
[ That look about Klaue, Wanda, the hypocrisy of the log cutting incident, not trusting him to handle Ross not bothering to try and talk him down, not working with him at all on the accords- ]
and I kept shrugging it off because, well. Different personalities, different values, but I respected that maybe you were having a rough time of it because you were hunting for Bucky. Maybe you were having a rough time of it because Peggy was deteriorating. And then the fight at the airport, and then Siberia, and then that bullshit letter- Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to realize you didn't think we were close. I don't know.
no subject
Putting you and the rest of your crew in that category made it easier to sleep at night. Pattern established and maintained, the outlier that was having what I thought to be a group of friends, of people I could trust- which I don't hand out easily but I fucking did for every last one of you despite decades of experience screaming at me that it was a shit idea- finally proven to fall in line with the rest of the equation. You say you wanted friends, you say you wanted me to like you-
[ His shoulders drop, a twisted, sharp crackle of laughter wrenching free of him as he holds his arms wide, head cocked to the side. ] I thought we were.
I thought we were. I thought we had a solid foundation under us, I thought you trusted me, I knew I trusted you. Not because of the shield, not because of the uniform but because of you. The same reason that the kids left with you in the divorce, because they trusted you more than, clearly, they trusted me. And that's fine- honestly? It's probably for the best since you're in a very familiar hole and digging yourself out by yourself is in-fucking-possible. But, Steve? I genuinely thought we were friends.
Why do you think I was so pissed you didn't tell me anything? This- this mess here- [ He gestures between them. ] Has fuck and all to do with the accords, fuck and all to do with Bucky directly. I thought we were good. I thought we were solid, maybe not as close as me and Rhodey but- you and Bruce? Same level. And then you yank the carpet out from under me over and over-
[ That look about Klaue, Wanda, the hypocrisy of the log cutting incident, not trusting him to handle Ross not bothering to try and talk him down, not working with him at all on the accords- ]
and I kept shrugging it off because, well. Different personalities, different values, but I respected that maybe you were having a rough time of it because you were hunting for Bucky. Maybe you were having a rough time of it because Peggy was deteriorating. And then the fight at the airport, and then Siberia, and then that bullshit letter- Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to realize you didn't think we were close. I don't know.