[ First time he's said that name out loud in awhile, let alone while addressing him because- yeah. That's fucking terrible. But that wasn't the worst part. Coming back, being welcomed with open arms, seeing relief in Obie's eyes- that might've been. Tony turns, hip braced against the workbench, and while his voice is level and flat and even his eyes are anything but. Dark and cracked open, years of frustration, of self loathing because even fucking now- ]
He pulled my heart out of my chest and he's still Uncle Obie.
[ He can't detach the iron monger from the man that encouraged him to go to MIT, from the family he thought he had, thready and fragile as it'd been. How fucking neatly that parallels everything with Steve, with the Avengers- it hurts. It still hurts. He should be fucking over this and yet-
Knew better. He'd always known better and he'd tried anyway. Thought that maybe he was some kind of good enough, smart enough, kind enough to earn a spot close to Steve when that mattered to him.
More the fool he. ]
I made the arc reactor. Got myself out. Yensin...[ His lips press thin, one of the oldest wounds, one of his deepest regrets. ] Bought me time to get clear. Used his dying breath to tell me not to waste my life. I build the armor, get my shit together, etc, etc- When I figure out what's going on with my company; Obie paralyzes me in my own home. Shuts down Jarvis. And pulls the reactor out of my chest. And no, it kind of is, seeing as you've had a hand in the continuing saga of 'how the hell are we stitching Stark back together this time.'
[ It's a bit much, pulling the collar of his shirt down to show the scars. Shrapnel flecks here and there, what used to be a neat, circular ring in his sternum expanded in a few hair thin lines not entirely unlike an autopsy scar. ]
Limited lung capacity, because we're not meant to have a hunk of metal in our torso. Any time I'd take a hit to the chest it was a toss up on whether or not the struts supporting it would crack my ribs. Getting it taken out hasn't been much better- I'm on my second sternum- and it's lucky you didn't crack the casing on the reactor in Sibera, Steve. I don't know what plasma burns on a heart look like but I'm pretty sure that would've killed me- if the destabilization didn't overclock the whole thing and blow all of us up with it. So. Kudos for using just enough force.
[ He's not angry. Not anymore, not really, he gave that up awhile ago. He's tired. He's fucking exhausted with this, with the mess, with the fact that he can't be apathetic and all the fucking platitudes in the world can't stop the weary, bitter twist of a laugh. ]
And you go like that, and it's a fucking wonder how I ever assumed- did you ever mean any of it? 'I'll miss you Tony-' seriously. I never fell in line, we argued more often than not, I caused more problems than I solved- I understand keeping your meal ticket on the line but you're not that kind of manipulative. [ Romanoff is, he'd expect it of her, it was part of her job, he wouldn't take it personally. Dangle the right kind of carrot and he'll almost always come to heel. If he felt like it. ] Don't pull the Cap face on me, I hate that guy. Fuck that guy. I'm not talking to that guy, I'm talking to Steve.
no subject
[ First time he's said that name out loud in awhile, let alone while addressing him because- yeah. That's fucking terrible. But that wasn't the worst part. Coming back, being welcomed with open arms, seeing relief in Obie's eyes- that might've been. Tony turns, hip braced against the workbench, and while his voice is level and flat and even his eyes are anything but. Dark and cracked open, years of frustration, of self loathing because even fucking now- ]
He pulled my heart out of my chest and he's still Uncle Obie.
[ He can't detach the iron monger from the man that encouraged him to go to MIT, from the family he thought he had, thready and fragile as it'd been. How fucking neatly that parallels everything with Steve, with the Avengers- it hurts. It still hurts. He should be fucking over this and yet-
Knew better. He'd always known better and he'd tried anyway. Thought that maybe he was some kind of good enough, smart enough, kind enough to earn a spot close to Steve when that mattered to him.
More the fool he. ]
I made the arc reactor. Got myself out. Yensin...[ His lips press thin, one of the oldest wounds, one of his deepest regrets. ] Bought me time to get clear. Used his dying breath to tell me not to waste my life. I build the armor, get my shit together, etc, etc- When I figure out what's going on with my company; Obie paralyzes me in my own home. Shuts down Jarvis. And pulls the reactor out of my chest. And no, it kind of is, seeing as you've had a hand in the continuing saga of 'how the hell are we stitching Stark back together this time.'
[ It's a bit much, pulling the collar of his shirt down to show the scars. Shrapnel flecks here and there, what used to be a neat, circular ring in his sternum expanded in a few hair thin lines not entirely unlike an autopsy scar. ]
Limited lung capacity, because we're not meant to have a hunk of metal in our torso. Any time I'd take a hit to the chest it was a toss up on whether or not the struts supporting it would crack my ribs. Getting it taken out hasn't been much better- I'm on my second sternum- and it's lucky you didn't crack the casing on the reactor in Sibera, Steve. I don't know what plasma burns on a heart look like but I'm pretty sure that would've killed me- if the destabilization didn't overclock the whole thing and blow all of us up with it. So. Kudos for using just enough force.
[ He's not angry. Not anymore, not really, he gave that up awhile ago. He's tired. He's fucking exhausted with this, with the mess, with the fact that he can't be apathetic and all the fucking platitudes in the world can't stop the weary, bitter twist of a laugh. ]
And you go like that, and it's a fucking wonder how I ever assumed- did you ever mean any of it? 'I'll miss you Tony-' seriously. I never fell in line, we argued more often than not, I caused more problems than I solved- I understand keeping your meal ticket on the line but you're not that kind of manipulative. [ Romanoff is, he'd expect it of her, it was part of her job, he wouldn't take it personally. Dangle the right kind of carrot and he'll almost always come to heel. If he felt like it. ] Don't pull the Cap face on me, I hate that guy. Fuck that guy. I'm not talking to that guy, I'm talking to Steve.