I mean, same lab. Same staff, yeah. The one that turned out to not be so harmless. [ Seve shuts his eyes for a moment and resists the urge to slam his head against the side of the wall. Because that won't help anyone and his brain has been working without the serum for months now, a shock to the system won't bring additional clarity. Not to this. Not without talking. ] I meant the earlier conversation. You, me, Bruce.
We argued -- and yes, I'm seeing a distinct pattern in hindsight -- but as I was walking out, you said something about Howard. About how he never stopped talking ... anyway. It was your prodding that convinced me to go looking around in classified areas. And you were right. SHIELD was up to some shitty things.
[ More shitty than even he'd realized at the time. More shitty and world domination-y, and that had led to Steve dismantling what he could of the organization. By himself. Well, with Natasha and Sam and Maria and Fury's very reluctant participation. And from the sudden grimace on his face, it's only now dawning on Steve that he could have reached out and asked Tony for help.
Fuck, I'm so used to doing things on my own.
Because it had always been Steve Rogers versus the world. Only two people had ever wielded the power to get him to see reason when his Irish temper had gotten beyond his ability to control. One's been dead for decades. The other only recently came back into his life.
And he's very careful not to think about why. Not when Tony can miraculously know what's going on inside his head. The reminder about Rhodey is even more sobering. Not that he's forgotten exactly, it's just that James Rhodes isn't here, so his status is one of those compartments. Which really isn't fair. Rhodey is Tony's Bucky. Not something he, or anyone else, should take lightly. Or seem to take lightly. ]
I made a lot of assumptions. About us, that it was more of a working partnership than a real friendship. [ He stops talking for a moment and hides his face against the crook of an elbow. ] God, you even yelled at me that you weren't a soldier and I still...
I still treated you like one.
(Because that's all I do anymore. Lead. Fight. Walk everything off)
[ Maybe after this, he can go hide and quiet his mind. Objectively look at the last few years of living in the modern world. Trying to figure out where he misstepped exactly and fix it. Is he such a horrible person that--
No, this first. Something is making them talk and it's more important to listen to what Tony is actually saying. Self-loathing will happen later. He takes a breath and straightens up a little, returning his attention to the other man. ]
Saw the footage, read the reports. I'd like to hear your side, but only if it's ... I won't push. But I'm willing to listen.
[ Really listen. Like a concerned person potentially invested in the welfare of someone else. ]
no subject
We argued -- and yes, I'm seeing a distinct pattern in hindsight -- but as I was walking out, you said something about Howard. About how he never stopped talking ... anyway. It was your prodding that convinced me to go looking around in classified areas. And you were right. SHIELD was up to some shitty things.
[ More shitty than even he'd realized at the time. More shitty and world domination-y, and that had led to Steve dismantling what he could of the organization. By himself. Well, with Natasha and Sam and Maria and Fury's very reluctant participation. And from the sudden grimace on his face, it's only now dawning on Steve that he could have reached out and asked Tony for help.
Fuck, I'm so used to doing things on my own.
Because it had always been Steve Rogers versus the world. Only two people had ever wielded the power to get him to see reason when his Irish temper had gotten beyond his ability to control. One's been dead for decades. The other only recently came back into his life.
And he's very careful not to think about why. Not when Tony can miraculously know what's going on inside his head. The reminder about Rhodey is even more sobering. Not that he's forgotten exactly, it's just that James Rhodes isn't here, so his status is one of those compartments. Which really isn't fair. Rhodey is Tony's Bucky. Not something he, or anyone else, should take lightly. Or seem to take lightly. ]
I made a lot of assumptions. About us, that it was more of a working partnership than a real friendship. [ He stops talking for a moment and hides his face against the crook of an elbow. ] God, you even yelled at me that you weren't a soldier and I still...
I still treated you like one.
(Because that's all I do anymore. Lead. Fight. Walk everything off)
[ Maybe after this, he can go hide and quiet his mind. Objectively look at the last few years of living in the modern world. Trying to figure out where he misstepped exactly and fix it. Is he such a horrible person that--
No, this first. Something is making them talk and it's more important to listen to what Tony is actually saying. Self-loathing will happen later. He takes a breath and straightens up a little, returning his attention to the other man. ]
Saw the footage, read the reports. I'd like to hear your side, but only if it's ... I won't push. But I'm willing to listen.
[ Really listen. Like a concerned person potentially invested in the welfare of someone else. ]