nonstopnarcissist: AOU (they hold me back)
Tony Stark ([personal profile] nonstopnarcissist) wrote in [community profile] sixthiterationlogs 2018-09-26 01:53 am (UTC)

He'd known about the engagement- two scientists of his and Betty's caliber shacking up, tying the knot? Of course he'd known. Everyone had speculated about what it might do to their research, if there'd be a new super couple in the scientific community. Tony'd planned an appropriately tasteful wedding gift and donation to whatever research they were working on at the time the wedding rolled around, the usual shit. That Ross would have a nerdson tickled the fuck out of Tony, the man had been insufferable, even Betty had issues with him back then, everyone did. You don't get where he was without having a particular kind of drive and disregard for life. And tact. And on occasion sanity. But to hear that Bruce, sensitive, introverted, brilliant Bruce had cared for and wanted to be recognized by him?

In such a familiar way, a familiar flavor of betrayal that stuck to the back of his teeth and coated his throat with bitter bile, Tony couldn't help but sink back against the workbench and laugh. It was the same hysterical crackle of sound when Ultron happened, after the shock faded and all he had was a quiet certainty he'd broken everything he'd ever tried to built. That he was a virus and all he touched turned to ruin. Not a good look for him. But this? This was louder, longer, hitched in his chest like sobs until he muffled it behind his palm, blinking past frustrated tears that he refused to allow to fall.

It was worse when that kind of hate came from someone you loved.

And it was terrible that Tony couldn't help but feel a sick sort of envy that Ross was even that emotionally involved in the mess that was his loathing for Banner.

Obie? Felt nothing. Apathy of the worst sort. He wasn't even a monster to slay- he'd been a thing. A tool.

"Don't-" He scrubbed at his eyes. "Don't think I don't know what that feels like."

And it didn't matter that his chest was hale and whole, that his heart still beat and he could breathe, that ringing tone in his ears lingered on bad days, the cold ache of the reactor being pulled free jolted him awake- His hand dragged down from his face to his chest, pressing over his scarless chest. "I don't think it was in my file. Or. That I told anyone that wasn't involved. Obie didn't even hate me, Bruce, but he used me. Because I kept pumping out weapons he wanted and when we quit? He decided to take what I had left that he found valuable and walk."

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