notsoangry: (awkward)
notsoangry ([personal profile] notsoangry) wrote in [community profile] sixthiterationlogs 2018-09-21 03:42 am (UTC)

CW mention of suicidal references

Bruce was in a bit of a pickle. At a middle ground, where he understood both sides of this situation so clearly, and knew enough about both men to understand how tragic this all was. If Steve trusted Tony more. If Tony saw that none of it was truly in his control. If if if. Too many ifs, ands, or buts. He really wanted to sleep, maybe for a week, a month. "Right, the phone you had." And Tony kept it on his person, Bruce thought maybe there was sentiment in that, but he couldn't know for sure. As a person who lacked judgment, all it added up to was that no one could win. Well ... mostly a lack of judgment. Outside of Thaddeus fucking Ross.

This time he didn't stop Tony when he took distance to get the water, because he saw that he needed it. If there was someone who understood absolutely the moment when you just gave up on everything, on when the world seemed too hard to live with, it was Bruce. He told them all in a moment of fragility that he tried to kill himself, but it didn't work. He didn't tell them how many times he tried, how many different ways. It was futile, and he still tried. He could do it right this moment. Before the Avengers, he knew he would.

"No, a world without you, Tony, is a world not worth being in. I know you feel like you failed, and that the pain of living feels worse than the silence of death." Bruce put an arm around his shoulder, turning his head to prop his chin up on Tony's shoulder. "You are loved for who you are. Not by people who can't see it, but there's us, there are people who know you." For all his understanding of both sides, his loyalties were clear. "You saved my life. You saved a lot of lives."

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