it's just a little bit of history repeating ( OPEN )

[ethnobotany]

WHO: Beverly Crusher
WHERE: House 20, 6I Inn, and 7I by the water
WHEN: early Feb
OPEN TO: one section closed to Picard, one for Claire, and an OTA
WARNINGS: will update as needed

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PICARD - early week

If Beverly is tired of any one thing in the village, it's the letters. She's tired of seeing them, tired of hearing about them, tired of wondering what might happen if she or anyone else refuses. So when this next one turns up, she's hesitant to even open it. It might be one like her first or it might be one like Peggy's. She knows she wouldn't do anything about one of the most horrible ones, but what if it's... something else, something new? Curiosity wars with her for the first day. She's left it in her room since finding it that morning and now she's on her way back to her room. Maybe to open it, maybe to throw it out; she hasn't decided yet. What she does know is that she's tired of the things.

Still, her emotional exhaustion doesn't mean she'll be entirely unfriendly and her housemates are a particularly close relationship. So when she spots Jean-Luc as she makes her way into the house, she manages a tired but fond smile. She doesn't intend to stay, though, and heads past him to get to her room. A wave of nausea stops her, though, and she sways on her feet, catching herself on the back of the couch. Well... that certainly is new and unpleasant.

ONE PERSON, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED CLAIRE - mid-week

The second time she finds a letter, she's much more wary of it. Despite wanting to ignore it and leave it alone, she decides that maybe opening it might be a good idea this time. It's unfortunate, but she'd rather not have something like last time happen to an unknowing stranger. And at least she'd know. Assuming it's a double and not some other instructions or a threat or a "reward" or whatever else. Her hand doesn't exactly shake as she pulls the letter out this time, but she certainly can't be said to be happy about it.

But she finds she was right. The letter is exactly the same this time and she frowns at it. There's no marking on it, no indication of who her "partner" is. How will she find them? By wandering the villages, she supposes.

So she goes about her business as usual and maybe sometime within the next few days she'll find out who it is. She ends up in the Inn, vaguely glancing around before she turns to leave. Apparently, she wasn't paying great attention to who was around her, as she almost runs straight into someone. She stops short, smiling apologetically. "Sorry about that. I wasn't paying attention." Stepping around them, she tries to head back out the door. Except there's the familiar and unpleasant wave of nausea as she gets a little over a meter away. She stops, bending over with a hand to her stomach. The last thing she wants is to become violently ill with those candies again. How embarrassing. But how will she know who she has to stick by for the next day or two? She turns again, glancing around almost frantically for anyone close enough to count.

OTA - later in the week

Eventually, the letters seem to stop and Beverly can't help the sigh of relief. She's done with letters, done with being the Observers' toy. Even if things with Jean-Luc are again taking a turn because of something the Observers did, she's so tired of being forced to do things she doesn't really want to deal with. She's tired of watching other people go through the same thing. If it weren't so cold, she'd be tempted to go for a swim, but she knows what that would do and she's not willing to risk hypothermia and frostbite for any kind of emotional respite. So instead, she takes a walk, through 6I's streets and off into 7I. Anyone who tries to catch her attention will notice she's less enthusiastic and warm than she usually is and she might seem hesitant about getting too close. However, she still won't turn anyone down if they want to talk; she just might not stick around as long as usual.

She eventually ends up on the water's edge in 7I, with her arms wrapped around her for comfort as she stares across the water as far as she can see. There's an edge out there, apparently. An edge to everything. A cliff to keep them all in this tiny little prison. And though she's not the type of person to cry, she can't help pursing her lips against the wave of emotion threatening to overwhelm her.

She'll survive. She always does, and she'll make sure she manages to get everyone else to survive with her.

For now, though, she thinks that giving herself some time to simply be away from her normal routine and deal with her own emotional turmoil, and whatever other trauma the Observers are starting to pull up in her, is a good idea. If the hospital seems to need her later, she'll be back to help. She won't shirk her duty, but she knows Deanna would be encouraging her to take time to help herself if she needs it and she can tell that she definitely needs it this week.