For a moment there, I actually think it's worked. Major caves because, well, he's Major, and Fillmore Graves brainwashing not withstanding, he's usually pretty good at backing off when you call him on being a dick. I'm not fooling myself into thinking it's a permanent truce — There is some kind of caveman junk wagging thing happening here that logic is not going to stop — but I think maybe a respite. Just long enough to get something done.

But clearly, I am an idiot.

Eyes widening, I snap a look over to Bucky where he's walking beside me. "James Buchanan Barnes," I hiss. "I swear to god..." And I don't finish the sentence, but I'm banking on my expression saying very clearly that I will not be touching his penis ever again if he doesn't quit it.