It finally fits into place. That was a song playing at the party. She remembers gently swaying to it with Ellie at one point before going to grab some candy because it was kind of a bummer compared to T.Swift selections. She just wanted to have fun so badly. It never occurred to her the whole setup might have been an elaborate trap. That makes more sense than suddenly stopping her love of life. This hurts so badly and she still wouldn't give it up for anything. She wants to be here for herself as much as for the people who love her.

The realization and acceptance plays out that maybe she really isn't to blame. Maybe that an idea planted so long ago that even the tools Jessica gave her couldn't dig it out. She'd resisted in her way, hadn't she? It was not wanting to be alone that gave Owen the opening he needed to save her. Frank speaks up and she freezes, stealing a glance at him as she tastes the guilt and shame all over again.

She has to face this so she forces out a thought that had played in her head over and over again. "It would have been a terrible thing to do to you even if it wasn't my fault." Kamala can't stand the idea of being some kind of sick proof that he was wrong to ever let another kid in his life. They all just die on him. He'd have been better off never knowing her at all. "I'm sorry, Frank. Do you hate me?" That fear is almost as strong as wondering if her actions damned her soul or something equally dramatic.