It's funny, because once they're in there with the privacy of four walls, she doesn't want to sit at all, her body jangling with guilt and an anxiety she can't quite put a label on. She walks halfway to the other end of the big room and then paces back, picking at her fingernails.
"I had this boyfriend," she begins, because it really all comes back to that, doesn't it? She'd had a boyfriend and she'd become an idiot. "He was new at school, and cool and mysterious and— That doesn't matter. He was a sociopath. My best friend was kind of an asshole, she was just this terror, most popular girl in school, you know the kind I mean?" She flicks a glance up to him. "Anyway, she'd threatened me. I wanted to get her back, god it was so stupid. I just wanted her to barf on the carpet." She stops in the middle of the room and breathes out a heavy sigh. "I thought we were giving her milk and orange juice, but J.D.— He said it was an accident, that the cups got mixed up, but now I don't think it was. It was drain cleaner."
Her throat's gone dry. What if she had been the one to hand Heather the cup that day? Would she have noticed?
"There were these jocks, and J.D. wanted to teach them a lesson. Play a prank and scare them, and god I was such an idiot! He told me he had these bullets, that they were from Germany and only broke the skin. Like that's even a thing!" she says with a frustrated flip of her hands. "But I trusted him and he told me to shoot and I did. His name was Kurt and I shot him and it was a real bullet and he died."
She wipes hastily at the tears trying to well in her eyes. "He had this thing, J.D. This manifesto, almost. Where if someone was mean to other people, if someone was a bully, they deserved to die. And I didn't know. Not until it was too late."
no subject
"I had this boyfriend," she begins, because it really all comes back to that, doesn't it? She'd had a boyfriend and she'd become an idiot. "He was new at school, and cool and mysterious and— That doesn't matter. He was a sociopath. My best friend was kind of an asshole, she was just this terror, most popular girl in school, you know the kind I mean?" She flicks a glance up to him. "Anyway, she'd threatened me. I wanted to get her back, god it was so stupid. I just wanted her to barf on the carpet." She stops in the middle of the room and breathes out a heavy sigh. "I thought we were giving her milk and orange juice, but J.D.— He said it was an accident, that the cups got mixed up, but now I don't think it was. It was drain cleaner."
Her throat's gone dry. What if she had been the one to hand Heather the cup that day? Would she have noticed?
"There were these jocks, and J.D. wanted to teach them a lesson. Play a prank and scare them, and god I was such an idiot! He told me he had these bullets, that they were from Germany and only broke the skin. Like that's even a thing!" she says with a frustrated flip of her hands. "But I trusted him and he told me to shoot and I did. His name was Kurt and I shot him and it was a real bullet and he died."
She wipes hastily at the tears trying to well in her eyes. "He had this thing, J.D. This manifesto, almost. Where if someone was mean to other people, if someone was a bully, they deserved to die. And I didn't know. Not until it was too late."