"Ooooh, potato vodka," Major replies excitedly in his best Russian accent. It's decent, more like a caricature of the real thing, but it gets his point across. "So long as it doesn't get us all sick, it should be good to go. I saw on Drunk History that when Sir Walter Raleigh went to "The New World" for Elizabeth II, he brought back potatoes because they were a new, crazy thing, and the royal cooks just like .. served it raw. Including the leafy stems, which are totally toxic. Everyone puked in the middle of the dining hall. Including the Queen, which is kiiiinda hilarious, if you think about it."

He gives the still a closer look from a few different angles.

"I'm pretty sure you can clean your silverware with moonshine, so even if you end up with something like that, and it gets people drunk, it will be widely celebrated."