Bodhi tries not to let himself freeze. His sense of security was definitely a mistake. The choice was coming, and there's always still a way he can ruin everything. Make Jude feel rejected and he'll poison the whole night. Try and tough out what he'd rather avoid and Jude will probably know and be upset. He's smart like that. Kriff, he didn't want to talk about it. They'd been doing so well.

He's quiet too long, catches himself trying not to meet Jude's eyes. Of course he's found a last minute way to fuck things up.

He has to say something. What escapes him is the truth. "I... I don't know if that's a great idea..." The worst thing is it's not like he thinks Jude will suddenly do something to trigger an episode. Not after all the care they've taken. He's not even sure how much his hesitation has to do with the usual malfunctions. They're certainly making it worse, making a loss of control and a sense of exposure seem scarier, but he's never been confident this way.