He'd like to stop thinking about the risks, but if he does that, there's a nonzero chance he'll ruin things. So he stays aware. This is a little closer than is completely safe, maybe, guiding Jude's hands like this. There's that possibility that his stupid brain will read it as confinement, being held down, and then--But no, it won't, because he chose this, and it's Jude, and Jude's safe. Hand and hair are comforting, familiar by now, and with that in mind, Jude's fingers are the least little thing.

A good thing, though. Bodhi gives up the uncharacteristically steady eye contact he's been holding and lets his eyes slide closed instead, lets Jude have a look at him. That's a different struggle than getting to where he could have soft hands on him and not panic, older insecurities that may not be dangerous but have their own sort of power. Showering Jude with attention is so much easier than accepting a bit himself. He lets out a long, slightly shivering breath, and thinks about Jude's hand and not about being looked at. It's alright.

His eyes open again and he leans in a bit, leaving space, but catching Jude's chin in his hands and running his thumb over the lower lip. A little control back, that's all. He's fine.